[Oneshot] Tears in her eyes (The West Wing)
TITLE: Tears in her eyes
AUTHOR: nicis_anatomy
CHARACTER: C.J. Cregg/Danny Concannon
GENRE: Het, Romance, a bit Angst
RATING: PG-13
WORD COUNT: 1,424
SUMMARY: It's normal that people cry at weddings and funeral - but they shouldn’t do it on their own ones ... Written for prompt #10 "Dancing with tears in my eyes" for 12_stories.
WARNINGS: English still isn't my native language (although I wish) and the story is not beta'd. Spoiler for all seasons (mention of canon character’s death)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I just borrow them from time to time to have some fun with them.
Dancing with tears in my eyes
Weeping for the memory of a life gone by
Dancing with tears in my eyes
Living out a memory of a love that died
("Dancing with tears in my eyes" by Novaspace)
~*~*~*~*
The restaurant near the beach was full of people, celebrating what the Californian press had called 'The wedding of the month'. Everyone was laughing and enjoying the party, although it was already past midnight. The party was one of the best they had been in years and - so Danny had heard much to his delight - was everything C.J. had imagined it to be, and still there were tears in her eyes, leaving tiny black lines on her cheeks and chin.
No one, except for Danny, with whom she was slowly moving to the music, his arms wrapped around her body, while her head rested on his shoulder, noticed the tears, and instinctively he pulled her closer, hoping to give her the comfort she so obviously needed, without really knowing what was wrong with his wife.
"Am I that bad?" he asked, half joking, half desperate because he had no explanation for the tears. "You know ... we could just leave and you can give me a private lesson in the ... bedroom." Grinning, he placed a kiss on her forehead, but instead of the smile he’d expected to see, C.J. just shook her head, her mouth curled up to a half-hearted grin.
"No, it’s not that," she said, quietly. "You are ... perfect ... and all I’ve ever wanted, Danny. I love you. You know that, right?" she asked, her eyes reflecting the insecurity he could hear in her voice. It hurt that she sometimes still doubted herself and, at the same time, him by questioning his and her feelings. But this was something that belonged to 'his C.J.' and it was part of the package he’d fallen in love with the first time they’d met. It was still hard to deal with this part of her sometimes- although, it had gotten easier over the last month. And she was working really hard on herself, so that there was no reason to give her the feeling she was doing something wrong.
Danny just said, "I do," and nodded. "And I love you too. But ... why are you crying?"
For a long moment, C.J. didn’t reply and Danny started to really worry about his wife, but when he finally opened his mouth to say sometimes, anything to make her feel better, C.J. looked up and he closed his mouth again, looking at her expectant.
Her look was intense and for a second Danny had this overwhelming feeling to get lost in her deep blue eyes, like he’d done so many times before since he’d first met her - what felt like - a lifetime ago, and although her eyes were still wet, he could see glimpses of her strength and stubbornness shine through. It gave him some hope that these tears weren’t that serious at all and, maybe, only caused by the emotional rollercoaster ride they both had made today. A small part of him, doubted the reassurance he was trying to convince himself with and when she finally spoke, he knew the doubt was justified.
"I miss him," C.J. whispered. "I miss him so badly." And if to support her words, her eyes began to scan the room, until they reached the table, where - as Danny recalled - her dad sat, and suddenly he knew what was wrong.
Her dad. His father-in-law ... a difficult and painful subject he had tried to avoid all day. He knew how big the impact of Talmidge’s Alzheimer was on her (and with this also on him). He’d tried everything he could to help her, but in the end he had to learn that there wasn’t much he really could do other than standing by her side, waiting patiently for her to reach out to him, as she normally used to deal with every problem she was confronted with (another part of her he had learned to live with and that he loved). He liked his father-in-law and he had no problems dealing with Talmidge Cregg; except for this morning, when Talmidge had lectured him about his responsibilities as Claudia Jean’s prom date, strongly reminding him to bring her home before midnight. Although, the talk itself was funny (for outsiders), he knew it was painful for C.J. and, with that, also for himself, and it had taken then two hours to convince Talmidge that this was their wedding day and not her junior prom. Danny felt that they hadn’t been very successful, since Talmidge was eying him carefully all evening, but that still didn’t mean he had issues with the older man or expected them for the future.
"Your dad is here," Danny said, gently brushing a strand of her brown hair behind her ear. He was still amazed how light it had become, once it was introduced to real sunlight. "There is no need to miss him, C.J. And you know that my offer to let him move in with us still stands. We have enough space and -"
Shaking her head, C.J. interrupted him. "It’s not that," she said. "It’s ... Dad’s fine and my answer to your offer is still 'no'. He is fine and he ... he will be." She gave him a smile Danny immediately knew was faked. But instead of saying anything, he just pulled her closer again and wrapped his arms around her.
For a long while they just danced slowly to Spandau Ballet’s 'True' and after a few minutes he could feel C.J. relax again. His left hand traveled down her back, and he brushed her cheek with the thumb of his right hand. He could’ve danced with her forever. This was all he’d ever wished for, everything he’d always dreamed of, and he just wanted this moment to last forever.
But every song has to end eventually and when this one ended and the band took a short break, Danny walked his wife back to their table, but even when they sat down again, he never let go of her hand, afraid she would slip away (into some dark place, where he couldn’t find her), if he did.
For the rest of the night C.J. smiled and laughed with Josh, Donna and the rest of the 'old gang', and if he hadn’t known better, Danny would have been sure this moment on the dance floor had never happened. He couldn’t fool himself, though, and like a ghost it stayed with him for the rest of the night, forcing him to watch C.J. with much more concern than usually, but it wasn’t until much later, when the party had ended and they were on their way to their bedroom, that they talked about it again.
"Do you think Leo would have come to our wedding?" C.J. suddenly asked, catching Danny off guard. He stopped and turning around he looked at her, alarmed and even more concerned than before, because Leo and his sudden death almost a year ago hadn’t been part of their conversations in a while - mostly because C.J. hadn’t mentioned him or because he didn’t want to talk about the past in Washington D.C., and instead than focus on their future in California; and because he had been afraid these memories would be too painful for her.
She wasn’t crying, as her husky voice had assumed, but he could see that she wasn’t far from starting again. Suddenly, he realized what really had been bothering C.J. all day. It wasn’t her father she missed, not Talmidge Cregg, her biological father, the one who’d raised her ... No, it was Leo she missed, her mentor, the father figure she’d looked up to for almost seven years; who she tried to make proud of her, who had kept her distracted from the problems she had with Talmidge.
Danny pulled her into a hug, ignoring that he was crumpling her beautiful wedding dress.
"Of course he would’ve been here," he said, kissing her gently. "And it would have made him the proudest man in the whole universe today. Well ... except for me."
C.J. smiled. "Are you sure?"
"Do you really have to ask?" Danny replied and before he even knew what he was doing, he had lifted C.J. up to carry his bride over the threshold. Surprised, C.J. squealed and for a moment it looked like she would try to fight this tradition, but when he carefully laid her down on the bed, she pulled him down with her, kissing him like there was no morning, and all sad thoughts and memories were put aside for the rest of the night, replaced by another tradition Danny had looked forward to for eight years.
- The End -
AUTHOR: nicis_anatomy
CHARACTER: C.J. Cregg/Danny Concannon
GENRE: Het, Romance, a bit Angst
RATING: PG-13
WORD COUNT: 1,424
SUMMARY: It's normal that people cry at weddings and funeral - but they shouldn’t do it on their own ones ... Written for prompt #10 "Dancing with tears in my eyes" for 12_stories.
WARNINGS: English still isn't my native language (although I wish) and the story is not beta'd. Spoiler for all seasons (mention of canon character’s death)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I just borrow them from time to time to have some fun with them.
Dancing with tears in my eyes
Weeping for the memory of a life gone by
Dancing with tears in my eyes
Living out a memory of a love that died
("Dancing with tears in my eyes" by Novaspace)
~*~*~*~*
The restaurant near the beach was full of people, celebrating what the Californian press had called 'The wedding of the month'. Everyone was laughing and enjoying the party, although it was already past midnight. The party was one of the best they had been in years and - so Danny had heard much to his delight - was everything C.J. had imagined it to be, and still there were tears in her eyes, leaving tiny black lines on her cheeks and chin.
No one, except for Danny, with whom she was slowly moving to the music, his arms wrapped around her body, while her head rested on his shoulder, noticed the tears, and instinctively he pulled her closer, hoping to give her the comfort she so obviously needed, without really knowing what was wrong with his wife.
"Am I that bad?" he asked, half joking, half desperate because he had no explanation for the tears. "You know ... we could just leave and you can give me a private lesson in the ... bedroom." Grinning, he placed a kiss on her forehead, but instead of the smile he’d expected to see, C.J. just shook her head, her mouth curled up to a half-hearted grin.
"No, it’s not that," she said, quietly. "You are ... perfect ... and all I’ve ever wanted, Danny. I love you. You know that, right?" she asked, her eyes reflecting the insecurity he could hear in her voice. It hurt that she sometimes still doubted herself and, at the same time, him by questioning his and her feelings. But this was something that belonged to 'his C.J.' and it was part of the package he’d fallen in love with the first time they’d met. It was still hard to deal with this part of her sometimes- although, it had gotten easier over the last month. And she was working really hard on herself, so that there was no reason to give her the feeling she was doing something wrong.
Danny just said, "I do," and nodded. "And I love you too. But ... why are you crying?"
For a long moment, C.J. didn’t reply and Danny started to really worry about his wife, but when he finally opened his mouth to say sometimes, anything to make her feel better, C.J. looked up and he closed his mouth again, looking at her expectant.
Her look was intense and for a second Danny had this overwhelming feeling to get lost in her deep blue eyes, like he’d done so many times before since he’d first met her - what felt like - a lifetime ago, and although her eyes were still wet, he could see glimpses of her strength and stubbornness shine through. It gave him some hope that these tears weren’t that serious at all and, maybe, only caused by the emotional rollercoaster ride they both had made today. A small part of him, doubted the reassurance he was trying to convince himself with and when she finally spoke, he knew the doubt was justified.
"I miss him," C.J. whispered. "I miss him so badly." And if to support her words, her eyes began to scan the room, until they reached the table, where - as Danny recalled - her dad sat, and suddenly he knew what was wrong.
Her dad. His father-in-law ... a difficult and painful subject he had tried to avoid all day. He knew how big the impact of Talmidge’s Alzheimer was on her (and with this also on him). He’d tried everything he could to help her, but in the end he had to learn that there wasn’t much he really could do other than standing by her side, waiting patiently for her to reach out to him, as she normally used to deal with every problem she was confronted with (another part of her he had learned to live with and that he loved). He liked his father-in-law and he had no problems dealing with Talmidge Cregg; except for this morning, when Talmidge had lectured him about his responsibilities as Claudia Jean’s prom date, strongly reminding him to bring her home before midnight. Although, the talk itself was funny (for outsiders), he knew it was painful for C.J. and, with that, also for himself, and it had taken then two hours to convince Talmidge that this was their wedding day and not her junior prom. Danny felt that they hadn’t been very successful, since Talmidge was eying him carefully all evening, but that still didn’t mean he had issues with the older man or expected them for the future.
"Your dad is here," Danny said, gently brushing a strand of her brown hair behind her ear. He was still amazed how light it had become, once it was introduced to real sunlight. "There is no need to miss him, C.J. And you know that my offer to let him move in with us still stands. We have enough space and -"
Shaking her head, C.J. interrupted him. "It’s not that," she said. "It’s ... Dad’s fine and my answer to your offer is still 'no'. He is fine and he ... he will be." She gave him a smile Danny immediately knew was faked. But instead of saying anything, he just pulled her closer again and wrapped his arms around her.
For a long while they just danced slowly to Spandau Ballet’s 'True' and after a few minutes he could feel C.J. relax again. His left hand traveled down her back, and he brushed her cheek with the thumb of his right hand. He could’ve danced with her forever. This was all he’d ever wished for, everything he’d always dreamed of, and he just wanted this moment to last forever.
But every song has to end eventually and when this one ended and the band took a short break, Danny walked his wife back to their table, but even when they sat down again, he never let go of her hand, afraid she would slip away (into some dark place, where he couldn’t find her), if he did.
For the rest of the night C.J. smiled and laughed with Josh, Donna and the rest of the 'old gang', and if he hadn’t known better, Danny would have been sure this moment on the dance floor had never happened. He couldn’t fool himself, though, and like a ghost it stayed with him for the rest of the night, forcing him to watch C.J. with much more concern than usually, but it wasn’t until much later, when the party had ended and they were on their way to their bedroom, that they talked about it again.
"Do you think Leo would have come to our wedding?" C.J. suddenly asked, catching Danny off guard. He stopped and turning around he looked at her, alarmed and even more concerned than before, because Leo and his sudden death almost a year ago hadn’t been part of their conversations in a while - mostly because C.J. hadn’t mentioned him or because he didn’t want to talk about the past in Washington D.C., and instead than focus on their future in California; and because he had been afraid these memories would be too painful for her.
She wasn’t crying, as her husky voice had assumed, but he could see that she wasn’t far from starting again. Suddenly, he realized what really had been bothering C.J. all day. It wasn’t her father she missed, not Talmidge Cregg, her biological father, the one who’d raised her ... No, it was Leo she missed, her mentor, the father figure she’d looked up to for almost seven years; who she tried to make proud of her, who had kept her distracted from the problems she had with Talmidge.
Danny pulled her into a hug, ignoring that he was crumpling her beautiful wedding dress.
"Of course he would’ve been here," he said, kissing her gently. "And it would have made him the proudest man in the whole universe today. Well ... except for me."
C.J. smiled. "Are you sure?"
"Do you really have to ask?" Danny replied and before he even knew what he was doing, he had lifted C.J. up to carry his bride over the threshold. Surprised, C.J. squealed and for a moment it looked like she would try to fight this tradition, but when he carefully laid her down on the bed, she pulled him down with her, kissing him like there was no morning, and all sad thoughts and memories were put aside for the rest of the night, replaced by another tradition Danny had looked forward to for eight years.
- The End -