Title: What a Wonderful World
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Rating: R
Pairing(s): Axel/Roxas, hinted Demyx/Zexion
Summary: Roxas is certain that he loves Axel. Unfortunatly, he's also uncertain about whether Axel loves him back. [AU]
He always had to flirt with the customers and, of course, they always had to flirt back. How could they not, though? He was gorgeous. He was… the epitome of perfection, in my eyes, at least. It always made me jealous. It made me ‘turn green with envy’, so to speak.
And that was the only reason he did it. To make me jealous. To make me want him more than I already did, if that was possible. And, gods forbids, it worked. I tried not to look and just go back to washing dishes, but I always saw and I always had to grit my teeth and bear the torture. I hated the way some of them touched him or the way some would look at him with unrestrained lust.
I can say safely that I don’t simply lust after Axel, and he knows it. I’ve told him how I’ve felt on numerous occasions that I’m absolutely crazy about him. Hell, I think I love the guy.
I can’t say the same about Axel, though. Whenever I say ‘I love you’ to him, he simply smiles and nods or kisses me. I wish he would say ‘I love you’ back, but he never does. To tell you the truth, it really bugs me. And the fact that he flirts with everything that moves just puts more uncertainty in our relationship.
I know I should probably tell him what I’m feeling right now, but I can never find the right time or place or I’m too nervous or… I can’t do it. He’d laugh, tell me I was crazy, ruffle my hair and walk away. He wouldn’t say, ‘Roxas, you’re nuts, of course I love you’ or ‘I love you more than anything’ or something like that. Axel never struck me as a cheesy-movie-line type of guy.
Not that I mind, of course, I love the guy. He’s like… my world, my life, everything I’ve ever wanted in anyone. He’s also my best friend, so I trust him. I mean, we could and should have the most perfect relationship on Earth, but we don’t… Or, at least, it doesn’t seem like it…
I mean, Axel’s a giant flirt and I’m just too unsure and jealous and possessive for my own good. Jeeze… no wonder he never says ‘I love you’.
“Rox?” a voice behind me caused me to jump and drop a glass mug on the ground, scattering clear glass shards around the kitchen. This, in turn, caused whoever was behind me to yelp and jump on the counter.
“Shit…” I mumbled, going over to the broom closet and grabbing a red plastic broom and matching dustpan, “Jesus, Demyx, you scared me. You’re paying for that, you know,” I shot a look over to my blonde-haired friend who was currently scrambling off of the black and white tile counter.
“Aw, come on, Roxas, it’s not my fault you were daydreaming on the job again,” he pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. Sometimes he’s so much like a kid, it’s not even funny… but most of the time, it is. “By the way, what were you thinking about?” he grinned suddenly, uncrossing his arms as quickly as they had been crossed.
I quirked a brow, shaking my head and started to sweep up glass, “Nothing much, Dem…” I shrugged nonchalantly.
But Demyx knew me too well. Damn it all, some days he was too clever… “You were thinking about Axel again, huh?” he sighed, rocking back and forth on his feet. I shot him a glare and he recoiled slightly, “Sorry, Rox, but sometimes you’re easier to read than a book,” another glare. “Sorry, sorry!” he squeaked, waving his hands in front of his face.
I frowned, going back to sweeping up glass, “Yeah, I was thinking about Axel again. What else is new, though? I mean… he flirts with everything and he’s never said ‘I love you’ to me and it sort of worries me, I guess…” Why was I spilling my guts to Demyx, again? “Does Zexion ever tell you he loves you, Dem?” I asked quietly.
Demyx put a thoughtful look on his face and tapped his chin with his index finger for a short while, “Yep! All the time!” he beamed triumphantly.
“…”
“…”
…I felt like crying. I really did. Stupid Demyx… he blinked at me, confused, the bastard. “Gee, thanks, Dem, I feel so much better,” I grumbled, sweeping the glass into the dustpan and tossing it into the trash bin.
He furrowed his brow and blinked at me again. “Personally, I think you should tell Axel this stuff, Rox, not me,” he mumbled, scuffing his toe on the ground.
I scoffed, almost cruelly, at that, “Yeah, let’s see how he reacts to that one, huh?” I glanced at the clock, noticing my shift was finally over. I grabbed my coat and walked out of the restaurant, leaving a very bewildered Demyx behind me.
---
The drive home with Axel was fairly awkward to say the least.
…Okay, it was really God damn awkward, all right? Maybe I should take Demyx’s advice and just damn well tell Axel what’s bothering me.
But he’s tired. Would he really listen?
Yes. Now. He’ll just go to sleep when he gets home and I’ll never get to tell him. Okay… just count to three and spill it.
Okay…
Now… three… two… one and a half… one and a quarter…
Um… I’ll just start over… three… two… one and… GO!
…Why didn’t I say anything? All right, I tried to, but nothing came out! I’ll try this again. Three, two, one… and… “Axeldoyouloveme?” I blurted out finally.
This caused him to jump slightly and the car swerved a bit, but we were, thankfully, unharmed. He shook off his surprise and turned to look at me, “What?” he blinked.
I sighed. “Axel… do you love me?” I tried again, stating my question a bit slower.
He just scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Come on, Rox, is that all? ‘Course I do, you dope,” he snickered, reaching over and ruffling my hair. That didn’t satisfy me. Not one damn bit. If anything, it made me even more uncertain.
“Then say it,” I muttered, looking out the window, at the dashboard, at my feet, anything but Axel.
“Huh? Roxas, what brought all this on? Do you doubt my… intentions or some shit? Fuck, we’re best friends, do you think I’d do anything at all to hurt you?”
I shook my head, “I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, Axel… but you haven’t said ‘I love you’ to me,” I mumbled, “And if you do, would you just say it?” I glanced up at Axel to judge his reaction. He didn’t look happy.
“This is your house,” he grumbled, hauling his car to a stop.
“But-”
“Your house,” he repeated, gritting his teeth. Shit. I didn’t mean to make him angry… I usually went to his house, considering Sora habitually came home with Riku at this time of day. I was still and quiet for a moment before nodding and silently opening the door and going up to my house.
---
Work the next day was Hell. Seriously. Axel ignored me my whole shift and flirted more than usual. I was considering telling Xemnas that I was sick and I was going home. Well, I guess I would sort of be telling the truth. Axel being mad at me made me feel so depressed my stomach hurt… plus, I didn’t want to break out in tears in front of everyone. That would be… absolutely mortifying. I would never live it down.
God, I knew it was a mistake to ask him. I knew he would get angry and it would leave me miserable and…
It was a mistake. I should’ve just kept my big fucking mouth shut. Now I have to walk home in the dark down a bunch of creepy, remote streets lit only by a bunch of streetlamps. My God, I’m such an idiot.
I sighed as I grabbed my coat, trudging out the back door, a hand in my pocket.
…I swear I sounded like a girl screaming bloody murder when that car horn sounded. I whipped around on my heels, only to see Axel smirking back at me. I scowled at him. “What?” I snapped. He simply gestured for me to get into the car. Okay, I was a little pissed that he had the nerve to ask me to get into his damn car after today.
But then again, dark streets…
I pouted in defeat and grudgingly got in. He rolled his eyes at me and started driving. I glared at the window, not saying a word to that red-haired bastard. He was so damn cocky. Was he just expecting me to fall back into his lap after he completely ignored me today? Yeah fucking right.
“Aw, come on, Roxas, are you mad at me?” Axel sighed.
I snorted, whipping my head over to glare at him, “What the fuck do you think? You ignored me all damn day and you fucking refuse to say just three God damn words to me that I tell you all the time. You say, ‘What are you talking about, Roxas, of course I do’, but you won’t say it directly!” I hissed, feeling tears stinging the backs of my eyes, so I looked away.
Axel appeared to be taken aback by that, because he didn’t say anything else the rest of the trip. He passed my house, though, which surprised me. I didn’t say so, though. I couldn’t trust myself to say anything at that point. His car came to a halt a few blocks down the road at his house. This surprised me even more so.
He killed the engine, getting out of the car. I blinked, swallowing that damn lump in my throat and followed almost instinctively. God damn it, I’m such a dog. Maybe this is why he’s so cocky. I do fall right into his lap.
Axel opened the door and looked back at me. I quickly bowed my head and stared at the ground. He sighed and cautiously grabbed my hand. I blinked, confused, but didn’t look up. He lead me a flight of stairs and down a narrow hallway. He pulled me through another, into what I recognized to be his room.
It was rather dark and only one lamp lit the whole room. Before I could really take in the familiar surroundings, I was pulled into a crushing hug by a rather distraught Axel. I gasped, tensing slightly at the unexpected contact. He was slightly hunched over, one hand on the back of my head and his other around my waist. His face was buried in my hair and I could hear him breathing rather unevenly.
“Axel…? Are you-”
“Roxas,” he cut me off, sounding almost strangled, “Roxas, Roxas, Roxas, Roxas… I love you. Please, Roxas, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything and I can’t imagine how you’d ever doubt me because I love you so God damn much… don’t leave me, please…” he mumbled into my hair, his hand starting to stroke my head.
Well… I wasn’t expecting that, “Wait… Axel, you thought I was going to leave you?” I mumbled, looking over at him, “Why would I…? I mean, I don’t think I could, I…” I bit my lip and closed my eyes, pulling myself closer to the redhead. “I couldn’t leave you if I tried…”
Axel lifted his head and stared at me, smiling slightly, “I couldn’t either,” he whispered, leaning down slowly and softly pressing his lips to mine. I don’t know why, but it felt better than other times. He went slower, a lot gentler than usual.
He tenderly swiped his tongue along my bottom lip, silently asking for entrance, which I eagerly granted. He nudged me back slowly to his bed as moved his tongue sensually against mine. I moaned into his mouth quietly, laying down on his bed and dragging him with me. He crawled on top of me, abandoning my mouth and moving to my neck. His hands traveled down from head down to my sides as he played with the hem of my shirt. I wiggled myself out of it slightly, showing him that I wanted what we were starting.
He caught on, lifting my shirt up and tossing it in some random direction. He stared up at me and the look in his eyes nearly made me moan. They were smoldering, darkened with lust and yet the love in them was unmistakable. He smiled at me and continued his way down my neck to my collarbone. He sucked rather hard on one spot, biting lightly. I twitched instinctively, whimpering quietly. He gave the spot a lick, and dragged his tongue lower.
I noticed while he was giving me that rather large hickey that he had undone my pants and was currently sliding them off my hips. Now, it’s not like we haven’t done this before, but Axel always tended to make me feel self-conscious and blush. He threw my pants away. He gave both my hipbones a kiss before crawling up to face me again. I wiggled slightly, feeling his half-erect cock in the confines of his pants poking my thigh. “What do you want, Roxas?” he whispered into my ear.
I blinked, shakily reaching one hand up and cupping the side of his face so that he was looking at me, “I don’t want to just… fuck tonight. I want… I want you to make love to me…” I mumbled, blushing terribly.
He blinked at me, taken slightly aback by my request. But after a moment, he smiled and nodded, nuzzling my hand affectionately, “Of course,” he muttered, sitting up and straddling my hips. He took off his own shirt and pants quickly, rarely breaking eye contact with me. He would rock his hips occasionally, causing me to moan quietly. Before taking off his boxers, though, he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of my boxer-briefs, slowly sliding them off my legs. I bit my lip and feebly reached for his underwear, which I quickly tugged down. He chuckled breathily and pulled them the rest of the way off, dropping them on the floor.
I stretched my arms up as far as they would go and started to gently brush my fingers along his chest and flat stomach. He grinned at me before reaching over to his bedside table and pulling out the familiar bottle of lubricant. I smiled at him and hooked an arm around his neck, tugging his head down for another kiss. He chortled quietly in his throat, coating a few of his fingers in lube. One of his hands slid to the small of my back, lifting me up slightly. I felt one of Axel’s cool fingers nudge at my entrance and slowly slip in.
I whined quietly, shifting a bit. He waited for me to relax and adjust before he started moving his finger. I let go of Axel’s mouth so I could breathe properly, whimpering softly. I arched my back up as he slipped in another finger, moving it right away. This caused me to squirm and grab Axel’s shoulders to brace myself and stop moving. He started to kiss my neck lightly, scissoring his fingers in attempt to stretch and prepare me properly.
Well, I’ll say one thing; it always hurts like a bitch at first, anyways. He eventually removed his fingers, grabbing the bottle of lube again. “Let me,” I said breathlessly, snatching the bottle from him and squirting some on my palm. He looked slightly bewildered and dazed, but otherwise very aroused. I snickered at him, wrapping my hand around his shaft and moving slowly, trying to coat every inch. He groaned, chewing on his bottom lip and bucking his hips forward almost instinctively. I swirled the pad of my thumb around the head momentarily before giving him a couple more pumps and taking my hand away, “There,” I smirked, laying back down and hooking my legs around his hips.
“Jesus, Rox, you sure as hell know how to turn me on,” he grinned, grabbing my hips gently starting to push into me. My breath hitched in my throat and I let out a sound somewhere between intense pleasure and pain. I let out a shaky sigh as he fully seated himself inside of me. I swallowed hard, squeezing my eyes shut, willing myself to relax. He started moving moments later and I could tell it was taking immense self-control to go this slow. He was already panting lightly and it amazed me that I could do this to him.
He pushed deeper with each thrust, quickening his pace slightly. I groaned loudly, the burning pain turning into a dull ache. “Axel… please, faster,” I murmured. He quickly and happily complied, speeding up his thrusts to a fast rhythm. I cried out as he hit something inside me that made me forget the pain and feel only intense waves of pleasure. I gripped his shoulders rather hard, moving with him as he hit that spot repeatedly.
I could see his orgasm quickly approaching. His face was contorted and his brow had a fine sheen of sweat on it. I moaned something that sounded like Axel’s name loudly, bucking my hips up in a plea to be touched. He gasped, one hand sliding from my hip to my aching cock. He pumped in time with his quick, jerky thrusts, mumbling my name into my ear. Hearing my name said in such a way, along with the feeling of Axel being inside and pumping me sent me over the edge and I released myself on his hand.
Axel bit his lip, not far behind me. It only took him a few more thrusts before he came inside and collapsed on top of me, an exhausted, sweaty, sticky mess. I looked up at him, still trying to catch my breath as I kissed him on the forehead. He chuckled, kissing my lips quickly and playing with my hair.
“I love you,” he mumbled, nuzzling my neck.
I felt an almost overpowering happiness fill me at that. I smiled widely and nodded, “I love you, too, Axel…”