Passion, passion, passion
Today has been a good day. I had my first accountability meeting with my friend John. I truly feel that this will be beneficial to the both of us. I've often felt that I've been living out my Christian life all by myself since my senior year of high school. It is very difficult and discomforting. For the first time, I feel like I have a guy friend in my life who I can truly relate to in more than just a superficial sort of way.
Passion, passion, passion. I just don't have it. But I want it. I look at all the people in chapel who lift their hands during worship, and I am amazed by their passion. I doubt that they are doing it just for show, but that they truly have a passionate desire for God. But I don't want to be like everyone else, because I recognize that I am uniquely created by God. Not everyone worships in the same way - some like singing, some like hearing music, some like praying. Honestly, I feel like sometimes worship is kind of cheesy. I could list all the things that bug me about worship time at chapel. I hate myself for my negative attitudes. I know living out the Christian faith requires total passion for Jesus. I don't have it and I know I need it.
My lack of passion extends beyond spiritual matters. I really want to know what God has in store for me in the future regarding my career and major. I thought business administration was going to be it, but the D that I currently have in intro to business appears to be squashing that possibility. I've considered many options, but there just isn't anything I'm very excited about. I don't know where I see myself 10 years from now or where I want to see myself 10 years from now. I haven't ruled out criminal justice as a possible major. I am currently considering communications as a possibility. The word on campus is that the communication division isn't exactly the best in the world, but if God wants me there - I am there. And I want that to be my prayer for whatever else He has in store for me.
Passion, passion, passion. I just don't have it. But I want it. I look at all the people in chapel who lift their hands during worship, and I am amazed by their passion. I doubt that they are doing it just for show, but that they truly have a passionate desire for God. But I don't want to be like everyone else, because I recognize that I am uniquely created by God. Not everyone worships in the same way - some like singing, some like hearing music, some like praying. Honestly, I feel like sometimes worship is kind of cheesy. I could list all the things that bug me about worship time at chapel. I hate myself for my negative attitudes. I know living out the Christian faith requires total passion for Jesus. I don't have it and I know I need it.
My lack of passion extends beyond spiritual matters. I really want to know what God has in store for me in the future regarding my career and major. I thought business administration was going to be it, but the D that I currently have in intro to business appears to be squashing that possibility. I've considered many options, but there just isn't anything I'm very excited about. I don't know where I see myself 10 years from now or where I want to see myself 10 years from now. I haven't ruled out criminal justice as a possible major. I am currently considering communications as a possibility. The word on campus is that the communication division isn't exactly the best in the world, but if God wants me there - I am there. And I want that to be my prayer for whatever else He has in store for me.