Sitting with Dad....
Dad, I'm sitting by your bed in room on 4 on ward 311 at the Royal Derbyshire. It's kind of peaceful - you're alseep and snoring. It's raining outside, I can hear the "normal" life of the ward and the staff, continue outside your room. The Drs and nurses treat you with so much repsect, talking to you by name, explaining what they're doing at every step.
It's not so much of shock this time - your face is a bit worried, but otherwise you're peaceful. Without your beard you look younger somehow...
It's hard to accept that this is the end - to reconcile where you are now at 79, with where you were in April this year, or even a year ago. We thought we had more time wtih you. I thought we'd have time to write down your stories, to ask about Mum, about your Mum, to make plans. But it feels as though you've given up and that you want to leave.
Over the last year the issues seem to have piled up. Parkinson's, the tumour thing, deilirium, pneumonia. Our siblings whatsapp chap is a history of hospital stays and Dr visits. We can't keep up. You were always so active and full of energy and power.
The change is almost incomprehensible, it's so painful to try and accept.
It's not so much of shock this time - your face is a bit worried, but otherwise you're peaceful. Without your beard you look younger somehow...
It's hard to accept that this is the end - to reconcile where you are now at 79, with where you were in April this year, or even a year ago. We thought we had more time wtih you. I thought we'd have time to write down your stories, to ask about Mum, about your Mum, to make plans. But it feels as though you've given up and that you want to leave.
Over the last year the issues seem to have piled up. Parkinson's, the tumour thing, deilirium, pneumonia. Our siblings whatsapp chap is a history of hospital stays and Dr visits. We can't keep up. You were always so active and full of energy and power.
The change is almost incomprehensible, it's so painful to try and accept.