Shadow Side of Me Chapter 7
Title: Shadow Side of Me Chapter 7
Characters: Yesung, Siwon, Ryeowook, Kyuhyun, Park Jooryo (OC), the rest of Super Junior members.
Pairing: Yewon, close friendship of KRY
Genre: Angst
Rating:
Summary: He won’t let his selfishness ruined his beloved dongsaengs' dream. But the so-called sacrifice hurt him the most.
Disclaimer: I only own the story, plot, and the original characters. The fiction doesn't resemble the real life of the characters.
Previous: [ 1] [ 2] [ 3] [ 4] [ 5] [ 6]
For the nth time of the week, Yesung woke up with his mother sleeping tiredly beside him. That day Bokyung resolved not to go to work in HG. She’ll be at home with his eldest son instead, and got Jongjin went to the café alone.
“Eomma, I’m sorry. I’m such a burden,” Yesung says lowly to his mother who just enters the room carrying a bowl of porridge.
“What are you talking about, Son? You are my son. I’ve had the full realization that having children will burden me my whole life,” Bokyung smiles teasingly.
“Oh you can still joke around when your son is sick like this,” Yesung smiles weakly. “Well at least your porridge is better than Jongjin’s, so you are forgiven.”
Bokyung feed his eldest son, who can’t even lift his body for an inch because he’s going to be nauseated. “Mother’s love, son. There’s nothing could compare,” she caresses his son’s pale cheek. “Jongjin’s porridge might be delicious, but he must’ve used too much MSG. The tastiest food came from mother’s love.”
“Oh eomma you are just the best mother ever,” Yesung beams, as much as his pale face allows him to. “I’ve got to be healthy by tomorrow, so today I’ll just comply to everything my beloved mother says.”
“My stubborn son. You should’ve said so yesterday,” Bokyung pinches Yesung’s nose softly. “You are so going to rest all day in this bed, since you refused to be taken to the hospital. Don’t think about anything, but enjoy my presence here…” she kisses his forehead then goes to the kitchen to wash the empty bowl of his son’s breakfast.
She’s back about a minute later, bringing the medicines and get his son drink them.
“Eomma,” Yesung calls, “did I talk in my sleep again last night?”
Bokyung seems like she’s contemplating to answer.
“Yes, you were,” she calmly tells her son. “But now you are alright, Woon-ah. That’s what matters. Your stomach, is it alright? Still nauseated?” she tries to avoid the subject.
Thankfully his son does get carried away. Or so he seems.
“Yes,” Yesung answers, putting his hand over his stomach. “I can’t even move or I’ll throw away everything. I’m still not alright, Eomma…” he says with a cute pout.
“Ahh my poor baby Woonie. Let me get you some vaporubs. I’ll rub them, my tiny boy’s little belly!” she tickles the top of Yesung’s stomach softly so that he won’t feel uncomfortable.
Yesung’s laugh brightens Bokyung’s day a bit.
Bokyung just gets to pick the vaporubs from the medicine box in the family room when she hears a ringtone of someone’s cell phone. She goes to find it. It’s Yesung’s phone ringing. It’s been recharged by Jongjin this morning and the singer’s mother detaches the charger then hurrily brings it to his son’s room, seeing it’s Siwon who’s calling.
“Woon-ah, it’s a call from Siwon,” she informs her ill son. “Do you want to talk to him?” She hands her son his phone.
Yesung opens his mouth, but in an instant closes it again. He stares at his mother and shakes his head weakly. “No,” he whispers.
“Come on, Woonie,” Bokyung gives his son an encouraging smile. “Siwon’s one of your best friends, right? Perhaps he could amuse you. You really need to laugh, honey,” she sits beside him again and places her hand that’s carrying the phone in his son’s face. “Come on, pick it up.”
Lazily Yesung takes his phone and albeit with slight difficulty, presses the green button.
“Yesung hyung?” an enthusiastic voice heard. It seems like he’s screaming to the phone, that even Bokyung could actually hear him without Yesung activates the speaker.
The patient on the bed gets redden all of sudden hearing that voice, and weakly replies, “Siwon-ah?”
Bokyung smiles seeing his son’s flustered face. Without telling his son, she opens several of his son’s pajama buttons and starts rubbing vaporubs into his stomach.
“A-ah Eomma that tickles! What are you…” Yesung yells with hoarse voice.
“Vaporubs, Woon-ah, relax,” Bokyung says and continues her activity of smearing the white substance into the flat stomach. “Don’t mind me, just converse with Siwon.”
“Hyung! Are you okay?” Siwon panicly demands from the other line.
Yesung rolls his eyes, staring at his mother, embarrassed. She seems like she doesn’t hear Siwon, though, still moving her right hand softly in a circular pattern.
“Yeah, Siwon,” he answers. “Just… my mother’s smearing vaporubs all over my stomach.”
“Oh, is that so,” Siwon chuckles. “But hyung, how you’re doing this morning? I heard you threw up last night? Are you okay?”
Flashes of yesterday’s event storm into Yesung. Precisely, the reasons of him threw up last night.
Jooryo’s visit.
Jooryo’s condition, that he has to pay for the songs with his body…
Inevitably the petite man on the bed’s fusing, eyes closing and cold sweat start to pool on his forehead. He’s suffocates, breath raging and it startles his mother.
“Ahh… hahhh… hahh…”
“Woon-ah… Calm down son, Eomma is here, Woon-ah…” Bokyung quickly says. She grabs the phone that his son still claws in his left hand and puts it down the bed. “Woonie, relax… Everything’s alright honey, you are safe…” she says with tears brimming in her eyes.
“Ugh… No…”
“Yesung hyung, hyung, are you okay? Oh my God, are you okay, Hyung?” Siwon keeps on talking over the line.
Bokyung holds her son’s right hand and she feels how Yesung grips it so tight it almost hurt her.
“Honey… Eomma is here,” she caresses her son’s hair and kissing his cheeks repeatedly hoping that he realizes that he’s not alone.
“Eomma, eom-ma… I’m afraid…”
“Oh, honey… Calm down, I’m here, I will protect you…” Bokyung can’t help but sobbing.
“That’s it hyung, I’m going to visit you in Korea,” Siwon desperately says.
“Si… Siwon?” Yesung whispers lowly and opens his eyes. “Siwon?”
“Hyung? You can hear me?” Siwon’s voice comes from the phone in front of Bokyung.
Yesung seems like he’s already back to his consciousness. He looks at everything around him frantically, batting his eyelashes in confusion. His breathing’s still uneven but finally his eyes settled in his mother’s face, who is smiling expectantly at him.
“Jongwoon-ah, everything is alright. You are safe with Eomma here.”
“Eomma,” he stretches his hand to touch his mother’s face, finally feeling content.
“Hyung?” Siwon calls again.
“Siwon?” He asks his mother and Bokyung nods firmly.
The middle-aged woman quickly gives the phone to his son who is trying to ask her by staring at the phone.
“You two were talking,” Bokyung informs him.
“Siwon… I-I’m fine…” Yesung talks while his mother holds his phone for him. “Eomma I’m okay now, don’t worry…” he whispers again, now looking at Bokyung’s wet face. “Don’t cry…”
“Hyungie,” Siwon’s voice shakes. “Hyungie, I miss you so much. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Meanwhile I will pray for your health…”
“My baby,” Bokyung kisses Yesung’s forehead. She’s no longer crying but her eyes are still wet.
“No Siwon… Don’t go just for my sake,” Yesung shakes his head, refocusing his attention to his determined dongsaeng on the phone. “I’m okay, I have my family by my side, don’t worry…”
“Yes, we are here Woonie. Always,” his mother kisses his hand.
“I can empty my filming’s schedule Hyung, they won’t say anything, I promise,” Siwon sounds firm although his voice’s hoarse.
“No Wonnie, your work involves… so many people. You… you can’t act recklessly,” Yesung says, watching as his mother’s carefully buttoning his pajama. “Please. I’ll be fine, I’m not a child you know,” Yesung tries to chuckle but his laugh cracks midway.
“It’s okay, really. They can shoot any other scenes without me tomorrow,” Siwon reassures. “I… really miss you, don’t you know that, Hyung? I can’t wait to see you.”
Bokyung is done with the buttons when she lifts her head and watches as his son’s blushing like a teenage girl over what Siwon says. Unknowingly, a smile creeps on her face.
“You stupid…” Yesung turns his head away from Bokyung, thinking his mother can’t see how a sweet, pink blush is slowly coloring his pale cheek. “You can’t just come here, you know? I’ll refuse to see you if you’re causing havoc in your drama’s shooting.”
“Ah! I forget to bathe Kkoming,” suddenly Bokyung says, lifting his son’s right hand to pass the cell phone to him. “You talk to Siwon by yourself, okay Woonie? Eomma will be in the central bathroom. Just call and I’ll come to you right away,” Bokyung almost runs outside, leaving her son stares at him in confusion.
“Eomma? Don’t go,” Yesung calls her as loud as he can manage but his mother has already disappear.
“Is that Kim ahjumma, hyung?” Siwon asks.
“Uhuh,” Yesung answer curtly. “Listen, Siwon… I’m serious. Don’t abandon your work. Don’t come here.”
“But…”
“No buts!” Yesung shouts but ended up coughing. “Look, you’ve made my mother left me here alone so now… you have to obey me.”
“Where does she go? Why’s she leaving you alone?” Siwon sounds concerned.
“She… went to bathe Kkoming,” Yesung admits.
“Are you okay being alone there? Where’s Jongjin and Kim ahjussi? You’re in bed, right?”
“Yes, she’s in the bathroom, she said. Jongjin and Appa are working, of course,” Yesung sighs and rolls his eyes. “I’m fine. I’ve drunk my medicine, I’ve eaten, my mother bathed me with her warm washcloth as soon as I woke up, my stomach is so hot because of the vaporub…” Yesung doesn’t understand why he tells Siwon all that.
“But you were… what should we call it, having some panic attack or something, just a minute ago, right, Hyung? ”
Yesung bits his lips, closing his eyes tightly to avoid screaming his lungs out in frustration. Now that Siwon knows about that, even worse, hearing by himself…
“Hyung?”
“Ye-yeah?” Yesung manages to answer.
“Why don’t you go to the hospital? Who knows you’ll get better sooner there. I know you don’t like hospital but it’s necessary!”
“It’s not just it, Siwon-ah,” Yesung answers after some moment of silence. “It’s just symptom of thypus, not the actual thypus yet,” he recalls what dr Park said when he came again last night. “I don’t feel like it’s necessary, I’ll be better tomorrow. Hospital will freak me out since it’s unfamiliar.”
“You are so stubborn, I’m really at loss of words,” the other man sound annoyed but also concerned. “I want to be beside you right now, Hyung. I want to protect you. You’re having panic attacks, how do you expect me not to worry?” Siwon says solemnly. “I’m so worried. I wish you know half of this feelings I feel.”
“Si-Siwon-ah…” Yesung gapes. “What’s with the sweet words?”
“It’s so selfish of you if you won’t let me see you. This anxiety’s killing me.”
“You don’t understand,” the older man says. “I don’t want to burden you. I have enough in burdening my family as well. You don’t need to be that concerned about me.”
“Hyung, enough with the phone call. I’ll be video calling you right now. Please accept,” Siwon seems like he doesn’t hear what Yesung just said and hungs up.
Yesung just stares at his phone, confused.
Several seconds later, his phone rings again. Siwon’s video call offer. Yesung contemplates to press ‘Reject’, he doesn’t really want to argue with Siwon about things, but unknowingly his hand presses ‘Accept’ instead. Oh well.
Yesung could feel his heart beats faster that it drums into his ears. He panicly thinks about how he looks like a mess with hair that’s damp with cold sweat. He knows his face must be as pale as a zombie’s…
“Hyungie,” Siwon’s face appears on the screen.
Dashingly handsome as usual, he’s wearing a black suit and red tie, looks like a businessman.
Yesung gulps before answering, “Yo what’s up Wonnie,” he tries to sound as cheerful as possible, smiling hesitantly to the younger man.
“Oh my God hyung, look at how pale you are,” Siwon’s looking too closely to the camera that only his right eye is seen on Yesung’s screen. “I hope you’re not lying when you said you’re fine.”
“I know,” Yesung smiles bitterly. “Of course I’m not fine, I can’t eat kimchi!” He tries to joke but Siwon still looks so stern.
“Get well soon, hyung. Or I will come straight into your room and tickle you until you can’t breathe.”
“I get it that you’ve changed your mind? Don’t come here until our next concert, Wonnie. I can manage it with my family,” Yesung says flatly.
“Okay, okay hyung, I surrender…” Siwon smiles, “I’ll be back on the 26th, and I don’t want to hear any news of you being sick, okay?”
Yesung nods and smiles weakly to his dongsaeng. He stares at the screen for several seconds before blurts out, “You look so handsome today Wonnie.”
“I can be handsome enough for the both of us,” Siwon smirks. “I put on makeup and this suit just to seduce you, Yesung-ah,” he laughs to himself as if what he just says is so funny.
Yesung rolls his eyes. “That’s why we are even in terms of looks. When I’m putting on makeup and suit, I’m as handsome as you!”
“Says who? Kim ahjumma? That’s biased Hyung!”
“Yah, you brat!” Yesung chuckles. “Why don’t you just go away? Even abroad, you can still disturb me,” he pouts.
“My scenes will start be filmed in an hour, I’ve got plenty of times to disturb your life.”
“What if I hang up on you now?” Yesung lifts his finger as if he will punch the red button of his phone.
“I will fly right now into your apartment and tickle you. You dare?”
Yesung doesn’t know it but Kim Bokyung is outside, listening to the conversation with amusement in her face. She’s so glad that the blush is back, giving his son’s face some sign of better condition.
“Why would you want to tickle a sick person?” Yesung’s laughing again. “You better start to practice your dialogs instead of fooling around with me.”
There’s something disturbing her about how his son interacts with Siwon. She can’t quite figure it out, though.
***
Kyuhyun and Ryeowook are having lunch on a cafe near the SM’s building. Hats covering half of their faces and the two maknaes of Super Junior are having a hot discussion over something.
The taller one seems rather upset about something, pointing his index finger to his companion for several times although they are whispering their words, cautious if anyone can hear them.
“I don’t understand why Yesung hyung never say a word about this. This is like disaster, Ryeowookie!”
The smaller man sips his bubble tea with knitted brows.
“If the board lost the song list, Yesung hyung can’t just keep all those information himself. I mean, we are a group, we are together. We have all the rights to know what’s going on, moreover, when all of this was his fault!” Kyuhyun says with fire in his eyes.
Ryeowook’s eyes widen hearing Kyuhyun, and retorts, “How can you say that about Yesung hyung, Kyu? Who, in this whole damn world, would want to get sick?” It’s surprising how a small man could look like a disturbed lion. “He himself doesn’t want to be sick.”
“I know!” Kyuhyun lifts his both hands into the air in despair. “He’s sick, okay that part is not his fault. But don’t you get what I meant, Wookie-ah? I blame him for keeping us in the dark for such a long time! It’s been four months since our songs were sold to other people, and our album seems like old fat history! Yet we don’t know anything about it, thinking that our album is just perfect and the only problem lies on Yesung hyung’s throat.”
Ryeowook seems like he finally gets his friend’s point. He bits the insides of his mouth and nods.
“Now I get your point. Yeah, I agree, I don’t get why he never tells us anything about it.”
“I had to know it from Jooryo hyung, who was, in fact, thinking that we already knew…”
“But, Kyu…” Ryeowook sighs, staring at the taller man’s eyes, “I think Yesung hyung has his own reasons…”
“Right! His own reasons!” Kyuhyun hisses. “He’s keeping this a secret because he has the greater good intentions! Why can’t I see that?” he rolls his eyes and leans back to his seat. “After all, always a super hero!”
“Hey you don’t need to be sarcastic. I say so because I know him. He doesn’t want the news to upset us. Probably… he’s taking care of it, now without us knowing?” Ryeowook says tentatively.
“Well here I am not upset! Knowing the bad news from our company’s worker is definitely better than our own sub-group leader!”
“Oh, Kyu. I know you’re so upset. Let me talk to him about this,” the smaller man pats the younger’s shoulder and tries to smile.
“I don’t get you Wookie-ah. How could you be so calm about this? Huh? I know Yesung hyung is your best of best friend but still, don’t you have ambitions or something?” Kyuhyun balls his fists. “Don’t you want KRY to be more than this? Don’t you want us to be recognized? We are sad, Wookie-ah. We are the best vocals of SM right now. Yet we barely get some respect from our own company? That those bastards dare to sell our songs? Songs meant for us?”
Ryeowook buries his face to his hands, shaking his head vigorously. Kyuhyun could totally hear him sobs.
“Oh, come on,” the younger man slaps Ryeowook’s hands. “Crying won’t solve anything. We need to take actions.”
“I won’t let you get near Yesung hyung to say anything. I will ask him myself,” Ryeowook uncovers his face and stares at his group mate. “My way.”
“Okay, whatever you say,” Kyuhyun shrugs. “It’ll be better if you can make him talk to me as well. We need a group discussion about this matter. It’s urgent, you understand?”
Ryeowook nods, his jaw closed tight. Kyuhyun’s rage softens seeing a tear runs down his friend’s face.
“Look, I apologize. I never mean to snap at you or doubting your work ethic, Ryeowook-ah. I’m sorry,” Kyuhyun hangs his head low, staring at both of his hands on the table. “It’s just, I need to let it outta my chest.”
“And by that you mean you doubt Yesung hyung’s work ethic?”
Kyuhyun looks guilty. “Well I can’t help, okay. It’s our teamwork, not his own. He can’t just neglect us this way, deciding everything on his own. He knows this can be really complicated. He’ll need us.”
“I understand, Kyu,” Ryeowook lifts the sides of his lips as his attempt to smile. “This is not such a simple matter we can just ‘handle’ by ourselves. We need to unite to be able to solve this. Yet we can’t bother any other members with this matter, this is KRY’s internal matter.”
“It’s such a shame if the other members find out about this,” Kyuhyun agrees. “Hey but you know what? It seems like Siwon hyung already knows something about this.”
Ryeowook startled. “What?”
“Yeah, he called me this morning, asking if Yesung hyung has some trouble with Jooryo hyung. It’s weird, you know, him knowing that they have problem!”
“But how… why…”
Kyuhyun clacks his tongue. “You stupid. He’s crazy about Yesung hyung, you know. He has his own ways, that freak.”
“Right… That’s why I’m amused. I don’t think Yesung hyung will ever tell anyone about his problem with Jooryo hyung, if he really has any,” Ryeowook sips his bubble tea again. “Hey but it got me thinking, why did Yesung hyung act so rude to Jooryo hyung the other day?”
“Perhaps he’s mad at Jooryo hyung because of our loss of song list?” Kyuhyung says nonchalantly.
“It’s reasonable, albeit so unlike him, and so unprofessional,” Ryeowook murmurs. “Hey, but you didn’t tell Siwon hyung that, did you?”
“What do you take me for? An idiot?” Kyuhyun sends the older a glare. “I told him I don’t know, of course. But you know what? He wants me to report to him how Yesung hyung interacts with Jooryo hyung next time.”
“Hahaha, you’re his bitch,” Ryeowook coos. “But why?”
“I told you he’s obsessed with Yesung hyung. Like a stalker or something!” Kyuhyun rolls his eyes again, shaking his head.
The older man takes a look at his phone. “Okay Kyu, I gotta go,” Ryeowook stands up from his seat while wiping his wet eyes. “You don’t say anything to Yesung hyung, okay? Who knows what you might do to him. Let me do the talk, about us.”
“What about Siwon hyung, should I tell him about their interactions next time?”
“He’s getting creepier like this, but I don’t see any harm on it,” Ryeowook huffs his cheeks. “But actually I think it’s better for Siwon hyung to ask me. I’m being closer to Yesung hyung and all.”
“You bet,” Kyuhyun rolls his eyes, “hyung,” he says with a mock tone.
Ryeowook walks away but not before he slaps the younger’s head.
***
TBC