I think today got raped by Monday.
I'm really trying very hard not to wallow in self-pity right now, but I'm not sure that it's working so well. This has been a singularly shitty day.
Well... that's not true. All in all, the day hasn't been that bad, I guess. If you're going by the actual events of the day, it hasn't been one of those evil days where everything that can go wrong does. It's more that this day is more than the sum of its parts.
Y'know what, I take that back - the only thing making this day shitty is the fact that I got called back from the 911 call center and informed that I would not be hired to work for them. And since I had been quite confident that I would be hired, it came as a rather significant blow. Not just to my employment prospects, but also to my sense of self-worth.
I don't mean that in an I-don't-love-myself-anymore-because-I-didn't-get-this-job way. Just that, once again I am left wondering what the hell is wrong with me that I don't even get the job that I'm a shoe-in to get! I mean the lady even told me that there weren't any major negatives in my application process: I just wasn't hired.
I'm left with three options at this point. First option: I'm jinxing myself by planning ahead for my I-got-the-job life before actually getting the job. Possible. Second option: God enjoys toying with my emotions and fucking up my life. Not impossible, but highly improbable. Third option: God doesn't care enough about my life to help me when I need it. Probable.
Well, okay fine, there's also the possibility that it just isn't my time to get a good job (and therefore an actual life), but I have a hard time swallowing that possibility since it means that I am meant to be languishing in this purgatory of dashed hopes and unrequited aspirations. I refuse to believe that I am supposed to be this dissatisfied with my life. In what world are discontent and disappointment the intended state of things?
And I was really looking forward to quitting BBW this month, too...
Well... that's not true. All in all, the day hasn't been that bad, I guess. If you're going by the actual events of the day, it hasn't been one of those evil days where everything that can go wrong does. It's more that this day is more than the sum of its parts.
Y'know what, I take that back - the only thing making this day shitty is the fact that I got called back from the 911 call center and informed that I would not be hired to work for them. And since I had been quite confident that I would be hired, it came as a rather significant blow. Not just to my employment prospects, but also to my sense of self-worth.
I don't mean that in an I-don't-love-myself-anymore-because-I-didn't-get-this-job way. Just that, once again I am left wondering what the hell is wrong with me that I don't even get the job that I'm a shoe-in to get! I mean the lady even told me that there weren't any major negatives in my application process: I just wasn't hired.
I'm left with three options at this point. First option: I'm jinxing myself by planning ahead for my I-got-the-job life before actually getting the job. Possible. Second option: God enjoys toying with my emotions and fucking up my life. Not impossible, but highly improbable. Third option: God doesn't care enough about my life to help me when I need it. Probable.
Well, okay fine, there's also the possibility that it just isn't my time to get a good job (and therefore an actual life), but I have a hard time swallowing that possibility since it means that I am meant to be languishing in this purgatory of dashed hopes and unrequited aspirations. I refuse to believe that I am supposed to be this dissatisfied with my life. In what world are discontent and disappointment the intended state of things?
And I was really looking forward to quitting BBW this month, too...