Freezer's #NFL Week in Review - Week 17
Welcome to the Week in Review. Let’s finish this!
Bears 10, Vikings 23
The Vikings clinched the #2 seed and a first-round bye with an otherwise ho-hum win, in what turned out to be John Fox's swan song as Chicago's HC. Adam Thielen had six catches for 61 yards and finished with 91 receptions for 1,276 yards, leaving him only behind Randy Moss and Cris Carter on the Vikings' list for catches and receiving yards.
The Bears end the game and the year in true bad team fashion: 11 plays inside the Vikings' 10-yard line in the 4th quarter and came away with 3 points. That's gonna get you fired. Godspeed, future Bears HC.
Factory of Sadness 24, Steelers 28
Corey Coleman locks up 0-16 for the Browns pic.twitter.com/r54jBHUaPy
- Barstool Sports (@barstooltweetss) December 31, 2017
The 2017 Browns in a nutshell.
The Browns completed the saddest two-year run in league history by completing the inverse perfect season, getting taken down by the Steelers' B-team.
Yet somehow, Landry Jones still managed to look like a scrub.
The Steelers go into the playoffs as the AFC #2 seed and will sit out the opening weekend on bye.
The Browns go into the offseason with the #1 and #4 picks in the 2018 draft and a head coach with a record (1-31) that would get you fired from a bottom tier 1-AA team.
No - I'm not letting that go. There is no reason, no justification to bring Hue Jackson back as head coach. The Browns have shown inconsistency and incompetence in every phase of the game. There is not a single facet of the Browns anyone can point to and say Jackson is an improvement over ANY of his predecessors. And it cannot be understated how much of a complete disaster Jackson has been. Cleveland is the first franchise to lose 15 games two times. And they did it in back-to-back seasons. They are the eleventh team overall to lose 15 or more games¹ in a season and the seventh team² to lose at least 14 games in back to back seasons. Of the other 1-15 teams only Jimmy Johnson ('89 Cowboys), Mike Riley (2000 Chargers) and Steve Spagnuolo (2009 Rams) survived that season. Only Johnson got another season after that. Of the back-to-back teams, only Leeman Bennett (Bucs, 85-86) coached both seasons.
Yet Jimmy Haslam is banking on Hue Jackson bucking that trend. All I can say is:
Click to viewBut hey: Parade!
1. 1980 Saints, 1989 Cowboys, 1990 Patriots, 1991 Colts, 1996 Jets, 2000 Chargers, 2001 Panthers, 2007 Dolphins, 2008 Lions, 2009 Rams
2. Niners (1978-1979), Bills (1984-1985), Buccaneers (1985-1986) Patriots (1991-1992), Rams and Lions (2008-2009)
Cowboys 6, Eagles 0
For three quarters, this game threatened to be the first NFL game to reach overtime in a scoreless tie. At least that would've been novel.
You'd think the Cowboys would feel better about a shutout win. But when you know A) you're out of the playoffs B) your opponent is locked in at the #1 seed and this game will neither help nor hurt, the game takes on a meh feel, win or lose.
I've seen some of the Cowboys' media members try to tout the fact Dallas finished with a winning record (9-7). They can fuck right off. I can think of at least three games this season (Rams, Packers, Seahawks) where coaching (And always the same decision: Deciding not to run the ball late when their opponent can't stop them) cost them a win. This should be a playoff team and 9-7 is a shit consolation prize.
The Eagles go into the playoffs as the NFC #1 seed. A positon they'd probably feel much better about if Nick Foles hadn't spent the last two weeks showing the world why he went from a QB phenom to anonymous backup.
Jets 6, Fuck Tom Brady 26
The Patriots locked down the AFC's #2 slow and a first-round bye with a win over the overachieving-yet-still-horrible Jets.
Bryce Petty played his way into permanent journeyman status with 236 yards and no TDs. The Jets have the #6 pick and will probably have to trade with the Colts or Browns to grab one of the three top-tier QBs¹. Unless they want to...
A) Roll the dice and draft Baker Mayfield or Lamar Jackson WAY high
B) Hope one of them falls to them at 38
C) Take a lesser light like Missouri's Drew Lock or Washington St.'s Luke Falk at 38.
D) Put on a full court press for Kirk Cousins.
1. Or two, if Sam Darnold decides to stay in school.
Packers 11, Lions 35
The Jim Caldwell era ended in Detroit much like it began: A meaningless win that padded the stats of all involved.
This was also the end of Dom Capers' run as Packers DC. Don't follow the Pack close enough to know how overdue this truly was, but I do know the Cheeseheads were calling for his head for as long as Raider Nation was calling for Ken Norton's.
Redhawks 10, Giants 18
I give not a single solitary fuck about this game. Next.
Colts 13, Texans 22
Indy and Houston closed out their nightmare seasons (and the former, the #Chuckstrong era) with a fittingly subpar game.
Both teams go into the offseason wondering "what might have been" if their respective QBs were healthy, with Houston looking to get all their missing parts back and the Colts looking to continue their ongoing post Peyton Manning rebuild.
Niners 34, Rams 13
Granted, the Rams were locked into the #3 spot and mostly played backups. But a sixth win is a sixth win for a team that started the season 0-9 and was neck-and-neck with Cleveland for "league's worst."
A good draft and a couple of worthy free agent pick ups and San Francisco is a team to fear in 2018.
Bengals 31, Ravens 27
Is it just me, or do (did?) Marvin Lewis' Bengals always play better when they had nothing to play for? Pulling off the road win, the Bengals knocked Baltimore out of the playoffs.
The Ravens will look to get younger and better on offense¹ in 2018. The Bengals likely will start looking for a head coach that isn't Marvin Lewis for the first time since George W Bush was still in office.
1. Which is a process I would not be surprised didn't include Joe Flacco.
Bills 22, Dolphins 16
Silver lining, Fish Nation: The Cutlerface experiment is officially at an end.
And the Bills broke North America's longest professional playoff drought, making the playoffs for the first time since 1999. Hope they're going to be content with a one-and-done because Jacksonville is probably going to wax them.
1. Seriously; Bill Parcells was still the Patriots' head coach the last time the Bills were in the playoffs.
Cardinals 26, Seahawks 24
Well, that was anticlimactic.
The Seahawks, needing a win and a Falcons loss to get into the playoffs, failed on their end, getting upset by Arizona. Granted, Atlanta beat Carolina so they were out, anyway. And they knew it.
TL;DR: The Seahawks didn't give a fuck and neither do I, Bruce Arians' swan song and all. Next.
Chiefs 27, Broncos 24
Locked into the AFC's 3-seed, the Chiefs could afford to break the seal on first round draft pick Patrick Mahomes. Mahomes acquitted himself well: throwing for 284 yards and one pick. They even brought him back into the game when after letting Tyler Bray take over and having the Broncos subsequently threaten to steal the game.
Ironically, Paxton Lynch played his best game as a Bronco (254 yds, 2 TDs, 2 INTs). If the Broncos don't retain him, he'll definitely get some looks. I don't doubt he'll be on someone's roster in some capacity in 2018.
Jaguars 10, Titans 15
The Titans snuck into the playoffs. They are going to get romped by KC. And no, they are not worth more words. Moving on.
Panthers 10, Falcons 22
In the only game of the week with playoff implications for teams (Falcons with a win-or-go-home scenario, the Panthers win the NFC South with a win and a Saints loss) the Falcons beat a sputtering inconsistent Panther team. Cam Newton threw three INTs, got little help from the running backs and the defense got shredded by Matt Ryan.
Atlanta clinched the final playoff spot with the win. The Panthers, locked into the #5 slot, looked like they were just playing out the string. And they get Round 3 vs. the Saints for their efforts. (Have fun, boys!) The Falcons get a slightly shaky-looking Rams team.
Raiders 10, Chargers 30
The Chargers' playoff push came up short despite the win, thanks to Buffalo's win. But 9-7 after that 0-4 start is nothing to hang your head about.
The Raiders, on the other hand... Everything that could've gone bad for the Raiders did. Derek Carr regressed from 2016 (injuries may or may not have factored in). Amari Cooper and Michael Crabtree both also took a step back, and Marshawn Lynch showed flashes of he old Beast Mode, but not nearly as frequently or reliably as the Raiders were counting on. Not to mention the defense turned into Khalil Mack and The Scrubs.
Jack Del Rio has already been let go by the and all signs point to the return of Jon Gruden to Oakland/Las Vegas. Given how his teams looked the last time he was in the league (when the Bucs truly transitioned from Tony Dungy's team to his), good luck with that, Raider Nation!
Saints 24, Buccaneers 31
The Bucs saved their best for last.
Rapey McCrablegs threw for 363 and the game-winning TD pass, plus a rushing TD to beat the Saints - who still won the NFC South thanks to the Panthers loss.
Rapey's December improvements likely saved Dirk Koetter's job. We'll see how that works out in 2018 (My guess: Not well).