It's the things I shouldn't see that always catch my eye.
Sometimes I forget just how badly it hurts to share the things I hold close. People can be so hurtful without even realizing or trying.
I took a huge step recently in what I think is going to be a positive direction. I finally decided to publish a story I wrote. It's nothing major, just a chapter book for kids that stars four little sugar gliders. I am waiting on a nicer cover to be finished, but it is still up for preorder now, and will be out on Sept 25. Once the ebook cover is done, the artist plans to make a paperback cover so I can publish a hard copy. This is going to be the start of a series of chapter books, and the second book is already about 1/3 of the way written. I even have several more books thought up.
Up until now, my writing has all pretty much just stayed on my computers. I never wanted to be famous or anything. I just love writing, and then reading what I wrote. This story is different, though. People seem to enjoy hearing stories about the shenanigans my gliders get up to. I thought writing them out in a kid-friendly form would be fun. I am really enjoying writing these, and find it easy to get the words down. My beta readers all had very positive things to say.
I guess you could say I was really excited about this whole project.
As I wrote, I sent the first draft of each chapter to my mother (who owns one of the four gliders, and is madly in love with my three others), and two of my friends. They each really enjoyed the stories, and keep asking for more. It's been a big confidence booster, and one I really needed after... well, we're getting there.
Something important to know here is that my uncle also recently published a book. It is a cute picture book that he wrote and illustrated entirely on his own. He is a phenomenal artist, and the book is positively adorable and a fun read even for adults. He is a bit on the self-conscious side about the whole thing, understandably so. It's a stressful thing, to share something you have worked so hard on with the world. I haven't announced to anyone outside of my immediate family and two friends that I have been writing books, mostly because I don't want my uncle to feel like I am trying to steal his moment in the spotlight.
Recently, my family got together at my parents' place for Labor Day. We usually do holiday cookouts, and this time was no different. My middle brother and his wife were there. I wanted to share my excitement and story with them, so I started to tell them about the first book. Almost right away someone brought up the subject of my uncle, and three of the group just started talking about reasons why not to go into business with him and projects that he starts and just never finishes. I have no idea why he was even brought up.
All I wanted was to share this thing that I have been working hard on, and my excitement about deciding to publish it and share it with the world. Instead, the subject is immediately changed to something negative about someone else.
Makes you feel pretty shitty when your own family forgets you exist the second after you announce what you feel is big and positive news.
Anyway, I can't sleep. I keep thinking about that whole conversation. The closer it gets to the book's official release, the more it bothers me. This is why I don't share the things I like with people. I don't share my writing. I don't share the music I like. I don't share the books I enjoy. I don't even play multiplayer video games with other people anymore because someone always comes along to ruin it and make me regret ever mentioning it.
Anyway, I guess I'm just really bothered and feel like I don't have a support system for this project. If the average person's support system were a pyramid, mine would be a little tripod with three very short legs and barely able to hold up a phone. The three folks I do have are great, but after being completely blown off by my own family I just... It hurt.
It's really hard to force myself to move on after that conversation.
But I need to try.
I took a huge step recently in what I think is going to be a positive direction. I finally decided to publish a story I wrote. It's nothing major, just a chapter book for kids that stars four little sugar gliders. I am waiting on a nicer cover to be finished, but it is still up for preorder now, and will be out on Sept 25. Once the ebook cover is done, the artist plans to make a paperback cover so I can publish a hard copy. This is going to be the start of a series of chapter books, and the second book is already about 1/3 of the way written. I even have several more books thought up.
Up until now, my writing has all pretty much just stayed on my computers. I never wanted to be famous or anything. I just love writing, and then reading what I wrote. This story is different, though. People seem to enjoy hearing stories about the shenanigans my gliders get up to. I thought writing them out in a kid-friendly form would be fun. I am really enjoying writing these, and find it easy to get the words down. My beta readers all had very positive things to say.
I guess you could say I was really excited about this whole project.
As I wrote, I sent the first draft of each chapter to my mother (who owns one of the four gliders, and is madly in love with my three others), and two of my friends. They each really enjoyed the stories, and keep asking for more. It's been a big confidence booster, and one I really needed after... well, we're getting there.
Something important to know here is that my uncle also recently published a book. It is a cute picture book that he wrote and illustrated entirely on his own. He is a phenomenal artist, and the book is positively adorable and a fun read even for adults. He is a bit on the self-conscious side about the whole thing, understandably so. It's a stressful thing, to share something you have worked so hard on with the world. I haven't announced to anyone outside of my immediate family and two friends that I have been writing books, mostly because I don't want my uncle to feel like I am trying to steal his moment in the spotlight.
Recently, my family got together at my parents' place for Labor Day. We usually do holiday cookouts, and this time was no different. My middle brother and his wife were there. I wanted to share my excitement and story with them, so I started to tell them about the first book. Almost right away someone brought up the subject of my uncle, and three of the group just started talking about reasons why not to go into business with him and projects that he starts and just never finishes. I have no idea why he was even brought up.
All I wanted was to share this thing that I have been working hard on, and my excitement about deciding to publish it and share it with the world. Instead, the subject is immediately changed to something negative about someone else.
Makes you feel pretty shitty when your own family forgets you exist the second after you announce what you feel is big and positive news.
Anyway, I can't sleep. I keep thinking about that whole conversation. The closer it gets to the book's official release, the more it bothers me. This is why I don't share the things I like with people. I don't share my writing. I don't share the music I like. I don't share the books I enjoy. I don't even play multiplayer video games with other people anymore because someone always comes along to ruin it and make me regret ever mentioning it.
Anyway, I guess I'm just really bothered and feel like I don't have a support system for this project. If the average person's support system were a pyramid, mine would be a little tripod with three very short legs and barely able to hold up a phone. The three folks I do have are great, but after being completely blown off by my own family I just... It hurt.
It's really hard to force myself to move on after that conversation.
But I need to try.