I can't promise that things won't be broken, but I swear that I will never leave...
Swinging back around to post another update, miraculously less than thre months after my last one! I'm impressed with myself.
Been on a kick lately of softer music by metal/punk/emo bands, thus this post's title song. It's been stuck in my head for days and yet it still hasn't gotten old.
Let's see, what else is going on...
Oh, in personal news, I officially started anti-depressants/anxeity meds last night. I'm a bit torn on it and it's something that I really struggled with. I absolutely hate the idea that there is something wrong about me that I can't fix on my own. I mean, depression and anxiety are nothing new to me by any stretch, but with several life factors that all decided to explode at the same time over the past month and a half I've been having heart related issues. Nothing like being told you have a heart condition when you're biggest source of anxiety has always been "welp, I'm dying, this is it, I just KNOW IT". But on the plus side, I've been reassured by a few different medical professionals over the past two weeks that it's something I can definitely live with and I don't even need meds for it. Maybe when I'm older, but for now it should resolve itself if I can get the stress down. So rather than going the beta-blocker route which would lower my heart rate but not help with depression, I decided to go the other route and see if my heart problem improves when I get the other things under control. I told my doc about hating feeling like I'm relying on something else, but she reassured me that we can assess things several months down the road and see if the life stuff calms down. If so, we can discuss coming off the meds and seeing if I can keep myself at an improved level. I like this plan, and keep justifying the meds to myself by saying it's only temporary to get me somewhere that I can hold myself at. I never believe myself, but at least if I keep telling myself that it means I haven't entirely given up hope.
In tv show news, because it's been so long, I've been watching Will & Grace, The Amazing World of Gumball, and The Handmaid's Tale. I've also been rewatching Invader Zim because of the new Netflix movie. Oh! And I restarted Black Sails. I loved it when it came out, but never saw the last season, so I'm starting from the beginning. I know, I have a lot of shows going at once...
Work is still really rough. The one lady is still out on medical leave. Issues just keep going from bad to worse to "holy hell I didn't realize it could get THIS bad what is even happening anymore". And of course my new manager, the one who doesn't know anything about AP and everyone hates because of her personality, keeps putting her idiot foot in her idiot mouth by telling freaking CEOs of our vendors incorrect information. She keeps telling them what she wants without even bothering to see if it's things that are actually doable. It's so insanely frustrating. But that aside, only 4 more weeks now until the one lady come s back and then I can focus more of mye time on the biggest issue going on that won't be resolved nay time soon and that my manager just keeps making worse with her big mouth.
Hm, what else... Actually, I think that's about it. Short post is short.
Hope you all are doing great and have a lovely weekend!!!
Been on a kick lately of softer music by metal/punk/emo bands, thus this post's title song. It's been stuck in my head for days and yet it still hasn't gotten old.
Let's see, what else is going on...
Oh, in personal news, I officially started anti-depressants/anxeity meds last night. I'm a bit torn on it and it's something that I really struggled with. I absolutely hate the idea that there is something wrong about me that I can't fix on my own. I mean, depression and anxiety are nothing new to me by any stretch, but with several life factors that all decided to explode at the same time over the past month and a half I've been having heart related issues. Nothing like being told you have a heart condition when you're biggest source of anxiety has always been "welp, I'm dying, this is it, I just KNOW IT". But on the plus side, I've been reassured by a few different medical professionals over the past two weeks that it's something I can definitely live with and I don't even need meds for it. Maybe when I'm older, but for now it should resolve itself if I can get the stress down. So rather than going the beta-blocker route which would lower my heart rate but not help with depression, I decided to go the other route and see if my heart problem improves when I get the other things under control. I told my doc about hating feeling like I'm relying on something else, but she reassured me that we can assess things several months down the road and see if the life stuff calms down. If so, we can discuss coming off the meds and seeing if I can keep myself at an improved level. I like this plan, and keep justifying the meds to myself by saying it's only temporary to get me somewhere that I can hold myself at. I never believe myself, but at least if I keep telling myself that it means I haven't entirely given up hope.
In tv show news, because it's been so long, I've been watching Will & Grace, The Amazing World of Gumball, and The Handmaid's Tale. I've also been rewatching Invader Zim because of the new Netflix movie. Oh! And I restarted Black Sails. I loved it when it came out, but never saw the last season, so I'm starting from the beginning. I know, I have a lot of shows going at once...
Work is still really rough. The one lady is still out on medical leave. Issues just keep going from bad to worse to "holy hell I didn't realize it could get THIS bad what is even happening anymore". And of course my new manager, the one who doesn't know anything about AP and everyone hates because of her personality, keeps putting her idiot foot in her idiot mouth by telling freaking CEOs of our vendors incorrect information. She keeps telling them what she wants without even bothering to see if it's things that are actually doable. It's so insanely frustrating. But that aside, only 4 more weeks now until the one lady come s back and then I can focus more of mye time on the biggest issue going on that won't be resolved nay time soon and that my manager just keeps making worse with her big mouth.
Hm, what else... Actually, I think that's about it. Short post is short.
Hope you all are doing great and have a lovely weekend!!!