Living Nightmare
Sorry about being MIA for the past week. I hope I didn't miss anything too exciting. I'm also writing this using LJ's new post editor, so I hope this turns out ok and doesn't have any weird formatting or anything. Also, fair warning, I put a lot of stuff under cuts. It gets kind of graphic and gross when I talk about the farm of nightmares. If death, decay, bugs, and poor sanitation bothers you, I recommend that you skip that part.
Last Monday (6/12) I went to a pretty fun gaming event. There is this giant convention every year called E3 where major gaming companies come together to talk tech, hardware, and new games. Unfortunately, I can never afford to go. PlayStation does this really cool thing where they have a ton of movie theaters around the US stream their big press conference. Tickets are free, and the theater in my state was only an hour away, so I picked up 4 tickets. I went with Draco and his two roommates (let's call them Brony and Jerboa) and we had a lot of fun. We arrived two hours early, but there was barely anyone there yet, so we grabbed some Ben & Jerrys next to the theater. The line grew a fair bit by the time we went back, but we were still early enough to pick some really good seats. The theater was super nice, too. It had comfy leather seats that reclined!!! I'm so used to the crappy folding seats that my theater has had for probably longer than I've been alive. The event started off with some technical problems that led to a few laughs, but within half an hour it seemed to be working well. They announced quite a few new games, but I will only touch on the ones that really caught my attention.
The stage setup for the new Assassin's Creed was so cool. They had live music from some very talented musicians, and behind them there was a waterfall of sand (sandfall?). As the music swelled, the sand falling started making some incredible patterns. It was absolutely incredible. I'm not really interested in the game, but the presentation was amazing. I am also SO EXCITED because they announced the first official expansion for Horizon Zero Dawn. Some of you may remember my love for it a few months back. I have gone Platinum in the game, done everything, collected everything, and I love it. I mean, I have some nitpicky things I don't like about the story and some of the gear, but overall I loved it, and it is one of my top 5 games of all time. They showed off some new VR games. The Skyrim VR looks a bit... awkward. I mean, the game looks good, graphics-wise, but the interaction and the floating hands... I don't know, it just really weirded me out. I do have to say, though, that the VR game called Moss looks SO CUTE!!! It looks like a cross between Despereaux and Redwall. If I had the money for a VR headset, I would get one just for the game.
The other thing that really caught my eye was a new type of game (if that is the right phrase that PlayStation is releasing for PS4. It is called PlayLink, and allows a group of people to play with the use of their own smartphone or tablet (so no need to shovel out $60-80 for more controllers!!!). The game they are kicking the service off with is a quiz style party game that looks like a bunch of goofy fun. The game that I really want to try is called Hidden Agenda. The description from PS: "This narrative-driven adventure drops you into a detective thriller rife with chilling moral dilemmas that may determine life or death. Up to six of you can join in to make tough decisions about how the story unfolds, but not all of you will be working towards the same objective…" Everyone can play along on their phone and pick options. I would be really interested to see how it plays out in action. The whole couch multiplayer thing needs a revival, in my opinion, and hopefully this style turns out well and helps bridge the gamer/non-gamer gap a bit.
Now on to the reason for the title of this post. From Tuesday to Saturday I was farm-sitting for this family I used to know/work for. I met them when I was in my very early teens, and I rode and showed some of their horses until I was 18 and I stopped going out to their place. The reason I stopped going there is because that place, and the people in it, drove me to one of my suicide attempts (the second one. I won't go into detail now, just know I am A-ok now and strongly advocate getting help for those who feel that way).
If you don't have a strong stomach, I suggest you not look under this cut. You have been warned.
They used to have several different species of farm animals. They would buy random things at auction every week, fatten them up, then go back and sell them. Now, I am not a vegan/vegetarian. I am a carnivore to the core (meat >fruit>>> veggies), so the whole auction/slaughter thing didn't bother me at all. It was the way that they lived and treated the animals. For instance, for a while they didn't bother to keep the chickens caged. One died in the doorway to the garage where they kept the horse tack. It laid there and rotted away for one year, four months, and 12 days. They had to step over it several times a day, but they just left it there because they were too lazy to clean it up. Now, was only 13 when it died, and I didn't have a strong stomach yet. I tried to move it, but only ended up losing my lunch, so I put a bucket over it and walked around it as best as I could. Another summer, they had a parasite problem and it killed almost all of their goats. Instead of vaccinating the goats, they shrugged it off and said "oh well." The goat fiel was right next to the riding ring. It smelled so bad of rotting meat and flesh that the horses wouldn't even go to the ring. I rode in the field that summer. They had this one baby pygmy goat. I called him Del Toro because he was black with silver ears and looked like a teeny tiny bull. I loved the little guy. One day, he wasn't looking too well. I went to the people and they brushed it off with "oh well, he'll be dead soon anyway. One less thing to feed." I ended up sitting with him for an hour until he passed away. Least he went to a better place, I like to think. Anywhere had to be better than that farm. If I learned nothing else from that place it was the ability to tell how long something has been dead. At least now I have a much stronger stomach. Now, that all happened around the farm. The inside of the house was arguably worse.
When I first met them, it was just a couple. Their house was filthy and trashed. Literally, mountains of trash everywhre, junk all through the yard, and broken down equipment everywhere. They had two dogs, Bailey (a mini version of Lassie) and Smokey (a german shepherd). They didn't care for Bailey at all and yelled at him constantly, instead of actually training him. Smokey was old. The husband had owned Smokey since he was born (he'd owned the mother, too), and had trained him as a puppy, before he had met his wife. Smokey was an amazing dog, and I loved him dearly. Unfortunately, he was getting old. A couple of years after I started there, he relly needed to be put down. He could barely move, and was literally rotting away. The entire place was infested with fleas, and he'd scratched so much that his skin got infected in several places and he was literally rotting. But the woman didn't feel like taking him to the vet because that would mean "dragging the dog to the vet, which is time I could be doing something more important, and spending a ton of money to have him put down and disposed of. Honestly, he'll drop dead on his own when he is ready." How can a person say something like that?! Well, the husband knew it was time, but he was too attached to the dog and couldn't do it alone. He said that when they went he would let me know so that I could go with them, since he knew how attached to the dog I was, but I never got the call. Apparently, about a year after he started falling apart, he got into the trash, and the woman got pissed off so she dragged the dog to the vet then and there and had him put down. The husband didn't even get to go. He had been at work and came home to find his dog gone. If I were him I would have demanded a divorce then and there. But anyway, about a week later she came back with new puppy, a border collie she named Piper. They never trained it. A year later they got another dog, Skye, a large mix breed that looks like a labradoodle/wolfhound cross or something. Seriously, she is giant, and she used to be very energetic. Again, they didn't train her. Not even to sit. They just yell at the dogs. The dogs would use the house as a restroom. There were always piles around the house. Plus, they left the doors open all of the time, so it wasn't just dog feces in the house, but every animal that found its way in. Instead of house training their dogs, they decided to just start locking them in too-small cages in the basement (the dogs couldn't even stand up n these crates).
Now, these people weren't able to have kids on their own. They tried for a couple of years, but it didn't work the natural way. They resorted to invitro. Well, the first time they ended up having twins, a boy and a girl. Round two, they had one, a boy. They had the twins about 5 months or so before they put Smokey down. It is a gorram miracle that the children lived. I still can't believe it. They grew up in a disgusting environment filled with animal feces (I walked in on the twin boy eating dog crap off the kitchen floor once...), trash, sharp rusty objects everywhere, and parents who don't give any cares at all. This one time, I stepped on a nail when I was in the barn, and it was stuck about half an inch into my heel (that is after it already went through the heel of my boot. It was a long nail.). Thankfully, I was up to date on my tetanus. They never watched the kids, either. This one time, I was tacking up Devon, this very large, very unpleasant horse. He likes to kick/bite/murder anyone that comes near him, just because he prefers to be left alone. Well, I walked ten steps away to the garage to grab my tack, and when I came back I found the twin boy (around two years old at this point) standing directly in front of Devon's front leg, whacking the horse with a long lunge whip. Oh man did I almost freak out. Devon gave me a look of pure hared that said "You have two seconds to get it gone before it dies." I dropped the tack, scooped up the kid, and took him several yards away from the barn door. Of course, being a typical two year old, he started screaming bloody murder because I told him no, moved him, and took the whip from him. Now, I've grown up around small children. I know how to calmly handle a situation like that. Unfortunately, as he started calming down, the mother had to come down and start yelling at me for disciplining her child. Like, no. It was a dangerous situation. Last I had checked, he had been inside taking a nap. I didn't know he was out there. He was way too close to an animal that has shown a propensity for danger, and he was beating said animal with a whip that I don't even know where he got it from. I don't even take a whip to that horse because he kicks the shit out of me (even if I'm riding he will try to dump me, or will lunge at me the moment I dismount). I can't imagine what he would do to a child. It still pisses me off that she hadn't told me he was coming outside, she had let him go out unsupervised, and she lost her shit at ME for keeping her child safe.
They have had every service you can think of (Human Society, CPS, even the state police) called on them. The worst they ever got was fined because a few vehicles on the property had expired tags. I have a very strong suspicion that they paid off people and talked their way out of everything.
Anyway, that gives you an idea of the kind of people that live there. When I was 18 I couldn't take it anymore. It permanantly screwed me up. In order to take care of myself, I cut all ties that I could with them, and I stopped going out there or anwering their calls. Unfortunately, my parents are godparents to their daughter, so mother seems to feel obligated to keep in touch with them. No matter what I did, I couldn't truly get away from them. I compromised and said that I would never go back out there unless I was getting paid, or I was taking my favorite horse Lad with me when I left (he is the one horse in the world that means the most to me, and every day I fear I will get The Call that something happened to him). Well, I am at the point of desperate. I have applied to several jobs and have not recieved a single phonecall. I need the money. I used to make quite a bit from house and pet sitting, so I may go that route again, at least for the summer/fall. Well, she called me and askd me to sit for them for the week. Said she would give me $200. Fine, I need the money.
I regret everything. The entire place was worse than before. The sad part is that the inside of the house is the worst of it. There were fleas (again), bedbugs (again), I probably have lice from there (again). I found 6 different kinds of bugs crawling in my hair in the first 5 hours that I was there. There were mice living in the wall in the kitchen. I found their hole. The mice weren't afraid of me, either. I encountered them every few hours, and would try to chase them. I could get within inches of them without them caring. Honestly, I could probably have sat there and pet them and they wouldn't have cared, but I wan't going to risk the potential diseases. Given how desensitized they were, they had to have been living there for at least a few generations. I started plugging their hole in the wall with various things and ended up in a passive-aggressive war. They would take whatever I had used and leave it in the middle of the kitchen floor. These mice would take whatever I used, no matter how big, bulky, or heavy it was, drag it across the counter, and roll it onto the floor. What the shit. They weren't even my biggest concern. At the back of the kitchen was a narrow hallway leading to the laundry room. In said hallway was more mountains of trash. I kept hearing noises of something big going through the trash mountains. Both dogs were accounted for, and were both too scared to go into the kitchen when we heard the noises. For my own safety, I didn't get too close. I also didn't sleep there. The dogs were getting up there in years (I think Piper is 7 and Skye is 6, but they are both broken shells of a dog and look like they are 12+) and couldn't really handle their bladders too well anymore, so I didn't feel comfortable leaving at night and coming back in the morning, especially since it is over half an hour's drive from my place and the horses had to be in before the sun came up too far. I ended up staying up all night each night (I amused myself by playing Dragon Age Origins), bringing the horses in around 5:45am, letting the dogs out one more time, and heading home for a quick shower and a short nap. I slept 9 hours in 5 days. I crashed hard yesterday (saturday) when I got back. They don't even have internet, and they live a ways off of any real road. I seriously felt like I was living in a horror movie. Not a killer movie. Like, a bug-based horror movie where giant roaches were going to eat me alive piece by piece as I tried to fend them off, even though no amount of pesticide or physical harm can stop them.
Ok, you can start reading again, if you skipped the last section.
Anyway, Saturday did not come soon enough. I think I am mostly flea/bug-free now. I may need to burn my wardrobe that I wore there. I think I killed the last of the bugs that moved into my xbox. The lady told me she is "so excited" that I am back in town, because they are going on a 12-day trip in late November and want me to watch the place again. Guess I gotta find a way to be out of the country by then so they can find someone else.
Now on to happier things!!!
Books: I am still working my way through American Gods. It seems like every time I sit down to read I get interrupted by someone. I really despise living around other people. I just want to live in my own little studio-style place. Doesn't even have to be big, and ideally not in a city. Just a small little apartment where I don't have to hear other people. I used to cat-sit for a few different people in this senior living condo complex. It was glorious! Everyone was so nice, it was a peaceful area tucked away, any noise was restricted to daylight hours when family members would visit (there was't a restriction on visiting hours or anything, it just happened that family members didn't stay over very much). I want to live in a place like that, but unfortunately I am under the age of 55. Anyway, that was a tangent. I am liking the book so far. It is definitely getting more interesting now that there are more gods in it. I also picked up a couple of new books at the library yesterday from the sale rack (I finally went and got myself a new library card~). I picked up Acacia (David Anthony Durham), I, Ripper (Stephen Hunter), and Zom-B (Darren Shan). I used to love the Cirque Du Freak series, and Shan's books are usually a quick and easy read, so I am interested to see what this one is like.
Gaming: I am pretty excited. I picked up an AverMedia Live Gamer Portable for a bit of a discount. I am looking forward to using it! With my terrible internet, I can't really stream anymore. This will allow me to still make videos, and once we get better internet I will be able to stream my other consoles, as well, not just PS4 and PC.
I finally started Dragon Age: Origins. Dragon Age Girl picked it up for me when she came down back in April. So far, I am enjoying it ok, I guess. Some of the humor hits well, but some of it also misses by a mile and then some. I went the Dalish Elf Rogue route. According to DAG, that means I will get my heartbroken once, if not twice, at the end of the game. She is REALLY bad about spoilers -.- My only true complaint is the quest tracking on maps. There is none. I keep having to look up where I am supposed to go because the journal will say something vague like "talk to this person!" and I won't even know what city they are in. It would be nice to have a quest marker to at least point me in the right general direction instead of having me wander all over every town to check the names of every single NPC. Another smaller complaint I have is that the wheel thing is not intuitive in the slightest. Nothing is where you think it would be, and I had to look up how to add runes to equipment, make potions, make traps, and make poisons. It's kind of ridiculous. Anyway, overall, I am enjoying it ok as far as RPGs go. I don't think I will consider it a favorite, but depending on how the story continues I may like it enough to play it again.
TV Shows: I finished Riverdale. Did I mention that? Oh boy... I am looking forward to, and dreading, season 2. I watched some show called Fried. It is a British comedy about working in a friend chicken joint. It had some actually funny moments, but overall was about what you would expect. I finished The League. I feel like the end was kind of abrupt, but also like they knew that entire last season that it was the end. It seemed like everyone stopped giving a shit. I am on Lost S3:E11. I am quickly losing interest, but I must perservere. I need to carry on with Supernatural, too, but I am still on S8:E5. I haven't touched it in probably two months.
Movies: I watched School for Scoundrels about a week ago. It was... eh. I expected a bit more comedy, given the cast, but it was a pretty neutral "geek likes girl, does nothing, girl picks scumbag, geek defeats scumbag and get girl" with maybe a few laughs in total. I also watched The Eyes of My Mother. It was pretty greusome, but I actually thought it was fairly well done. It had an indie feel, and was very greyscale, with minimal dialogue. I thought that was a good choice. I wasn't too satisfied with the end, specifically that a child could grow up being told "hey don't go in there" and actually listen. In my opinion, the kids was way too old to be looking in there for the first time. But honestly she could have gottent he kid involved and the movie could have ended on a much creepier, more satisfying note.
Hope everyone has a wonderful week~