Where did that come from?
My birthday fast approaches and although that has never been something to bother me before, I find as it gets closer I am leaning more and more toward just wanting to ignore it. It's not that I feel old. I feel great and am told that I look very good "for my age". That's the killer phrase I guess that is beginning to bother me, though. Adding another number to that "for my age" is just plain bugging me.
As I've gotten older, especially in the last ten years or so, I have found myself to be more comfortable around younger people which can be a good thing and a bad thing. It just seems so often that many people my age have forgotten how to enjoy life and are starting to feel like they are so old already. They joke and talk about middle age and how their bodies are falling apart and how their sex lives are boring and their life in general is just "there" and I simply can't relate most of the time. I want to shake them and ask them "Why have you given up already?". I almost fell into that rut myself when I turned 40 and then I gave myself a good shaking and decided my life was in no way on its way downhill. I'm beginning to understand why women start lying about their age, though. I don't necessarily want to make people think I am younger. They already think that anyway. I guess I'm just tired of seeing the look in their eyes as they change their perception of me as someone of their age to "OMG, she really is old."
Sean still tells me I'm "hot" and he makes me feel awesome and sexy and desirable. He has offered to do something very generous and pretty amazing for me for my birthday. It is my decision as to whether or not he will do it. It is fulfilling a fantasy of mine and when he first proposed it, I admit I was a bit excited. It is so tempting. But I realize now that if I do give him the go-ahead and it does not work out, it would be a serious blow to my already teetering self image.
Is it May 11th yet? Can this just be over?
As I've gotten older, especially in the last ten years or so, I have found myself to be more comfortable around younger people which can be a good thing and a bad thing. It just seems so often that many people my age have forgotten how to enjoy life and are starting to feel like they are so old already. They joke and talk about middle age and how their bodies are falling apart and how their sex lives are boring and their life in general is just "there" and I simply can't relate most of the time. I want to shake them and ask them "Why have you given up already?". I almost fell into that rut myself when I turned 40 and then I gave myself a good shaking and decided my life was in no way on its way downhill. I'm beginning to understand why women start lying about their age, though. I don't necessarily want to make people think I am younger. They already think that anyway. I guess I'm just tired of seeing the look in their eyes as they change their perception of me as someone of their age to "OMG, she really is old."
Sean still tells me I'm "hot" and he makes me feel awesome and sexy and desirable. He has offered to do something very generous and pretty amazing for me for my birthday. It is my decision as to whether or not he will do it. It is fulfilling a fantasy of mine and when he first proposed it, I admit I was a bit excited. It is so tempting. But I realize now that if I do give him the go-ahead and it does not work out, it would be a serious blow to my already teetering self image.
Is it May 11th yet? Can this just be over?