IBARW: An Incomplete List of Incidents

[nex0s]

Backstory: My mother is white (Russian Jew), my father is black (African, Naticoke, and Irish).

Early Years
1972 - Man punches Mother in stomach while calling her a "Nigger Lover." She is 7 months pregant with me

1973 - Earache. A (black) neighbor takes Mom to the hospital with me, and nurses tell my Mom that if she needs to get away from "her pimp",

Comments

[la_directora]

The worst stuff for me is either not being believed when stuff happened, or condescendingly explained to how that "really wasn't what happened."

It amazes me how many people think that if we just say racism doesn't happen anymore, then it's true. Personally, I think anyone who says things like, "There is no real race problem in Boston," (or anywhere else) simply isn't paying attention. Or is in SERIOUS denial.

In keeping with the idea that naming something is an act of power, I see your list as very powerful. At the very least because if someone else reads it who has been the victim of racism, but hasn't had the strength to name it what it is, reads it, maybe this list will help them find that strength. I don't know if you meant for this list to sound strong, but that's how it sounds.

[nex0s]

Thanks. I do feel it's a strong list. I also think it's important for people to see the many ways racism takes form. It's not just the violent ways, there are a thousand subtle ways too. People who refuse to meet my eyes, people who "didn't see you there", etc.

There are overt forms, and subtle unconcious forms, and a thousand forms in between.

N.

[micheinnz]

I'm sorry all that has happened to you.

I also try my best to make sure I don't do it to others.

[dr_memory]

Am told that there is "no real race problem in Boston anymore"

*SFX: needle scratching across record*

Say what?!

I think my brain just melted. Was this person capable of walking and chewing gum at the same time?

[nex0s]

It was on a poly list. Seriously. But it's not like anyone jumped up to knock his opinion down. I did that by citing my being knifed by a skinhead.

N.

[dr_memory]

It always astounded me that there were people who didn't notice that Boston was still incredibly segregated. It's not exactly subtle, you know?

[nex0s]

LOL, I know.

He said he'd never seen any racism, and neither had his (white) children.

*sigh*

What can you do, except smack a bitch at that point?

N.

[nex0s]

A lot of people would say to me, "But Cambridge is integrated!" and I would say, "When everyone has a PhD, it's not a particularly integrated society."

I'm always honest about this: I love a lot of the people I know in Boston (and by this I mean the whole metro area including Cambridge and Somerville) but I do not love the city or the atmosphere. I was not comfortable living there for three years, I was not that comfortable visiting most recently (not due to my excellent hosts or friends). I'm relieved I don't live there anymore.

A large part, if not most, of my uncomfortableness has to do with race. It is one of the only places I have ever been where I have had trouble getting served in restaurants and bars (multiple times), certainly the only place I've ever been attacked by a skinhead (who mostly don't exist in NYC because they'd get their asses kicked), and one of the only places I've ever been harassed by cops.

N.

[gingembre]

Having lived in NYC for most of my life, I am frankly terrified at moving anywhere else (definitely in the US). And that was before I became one-half of an interracial couple with two mixed kids! I am actually not at all prepared for the conversations I am sure to have to have when my daughters are older.

[minnow1212]

Over via the ibarw comm. This is an incredibly powerful litany. Thank you.

[nex0s]

Thanks for reading :)

N.