Scared
I can't help but feel this way.
I stepped on the scale today and it as 2.5 pounds higher than last Friday. Of course, I ate breakfast and lunch, and just got out of the bath, but still...
For me, the first week makes all the difference. When everything else in my life seems out of control, this seems to be the one thing that I should be able to handle. I've been eating fish, beans, fruits and vegetables, like a boss. I've been drinking lots of water, and I even did some hard-core gardening this week on top of my physically demanding job.
Then why are the numbers not going down? This is the first week, for Pete's sake! This should be the week where I am permitted to drop a larger amount of weight than normal. I just don't understand.
I don't know what I'm going to do if I step on the scale tomorrow morning and I weigh over 291. I really don't. I'll probably cry; I'm good at that. But I don't understand how I can go from eating white bread, cookies, and white rice, to eating within my nutritional range every single day and still gain weight.
I'm terrified.
I stepped on the scale today and it as 2.5 pounds higher than last Friday. Of course, I ate breakfast and lunch, and just got out of the bath, but still...
For me, the first week makes all the difference. When everything else in my life seems out of control, this seems to be the one thing that I should be able to handle. I've been eating fish, beans, fruits and vegetables, like a boss. I've been drinking lots of water, and I even did some hard-core gardening this week on top of my physically demanding job.
Then why are the numbers not going down? This is the first week, for Pete's sake! This should be the week where I am permitted to drop a larger amount of weight than normal. I just don't understand.
I don't know what I'm going to do if I step on the scale tomorrow morning and I weigh over 291. I really don't. I'll probably cry; I'm good at that. But I don't understand how I can go from eating white bread, cookies, and white rice, to eating within my nutritional range every single day and still gain weight.
I'm terrified.