fic for track_04 (part 3)
> back to part 2
Friday morning, and Tegoshi was ready for another unproductive day; another 10 hours at work during which the only job he’d attempt was trying to stay sane for a little bit longer.
He’d been moving in a daze since Wednesday, and today was no different; he rode the bus, staring vacantly out the window and once again missing the glances of the brunet law student, his features bent with concern.
Tegoshi’s feelings showed in the way he held his body and dragged his feet as he entered the office, ignoring everyone around him, right until he got to the elevator and ran into one of the last people he wanted to see.
“Tegoshi-kun.” Nishikido Ryo stood, blocking his path, and had he cared enough right now, Tegoshi would’ve noted that he looked more agitated, much less calm than usual. “I was just looking for you. Have you seen Ren recently?”
Tegoshi shot Ryo the most venomous look he could muster and stepped around him to take the elevator.
“This is your fault,” he said, and ignored the short, confused utterance of protest, cut off when the steel doors clamped shut.
To be fair, it wasn’t Ryo’s fault at all. Tegoshi just needed someone to blame who wasn’t himself, someone who couldn’t fight back, and Ryo seemed like a good candidate. He didn’t care that Ryo didn’t have anything to do with this, or that he was probably thoroughly annoyed and confused now. It felt good to pass the responsibility on to somebody else, even if it was only for a second.
The slight feeling of relief lasted approximately five minutes, until he stepped in the door to Miyagi’s office and was told, “We’re giving up. He’s not talking. I’m just giving you prior warning that Masuda will be one of the subjects you’ll be injecting today.”
Tegoshi felt like the world had come to an end.
He wanted to beg, to plead with them to let Massu go, or to keep him captive, to do anything but force Tegoshi to harm him, but the words wouldn’t come, and even if they had, he already knew they would’ve been useless anyway.
The electronic ping indicating the elevator’s arrival, the clang of the doors shutting, the beep as each floor was counted off, all sounded more ominous today than they ever had before. Each noise felt like it was bringing him closer to the moment when he’d no longer be able to forgive himself. It was one thing to do this to someone nameless, faceless, without an identity. It was another thing entirely to do it to someone he cared about, someone he was so emotionally invested in. He hadn’t even picked up the needle yet, and he already felt like a monster.
Tegoshi almost expected the lab to look different today, for there to be some kind of change, but there was nothing. It was the same sterile metal prison as always, and it forced him to admit that the only changes that had occurred were ones inside his head.
“Good morning, Tegoshi-kun.” Even Suzuki-sensei’s greeting was no different from usual, and Tegoshi wanted to strangle him, wanted some sort of acknowledgement that they were causing his world to come crumbling down around him.
He felt queasy as he prepared his first needle, but the first person he anesthetized wasn’t even Massu. She was followed by another two regular subjects, and each time Tegoshi prepared another needle, he felt worse and worse, until the fourth time, when he felt moments away from throwing up. And that was when Massu was brought out, strapped securely to a stretcher and gagged, just like all the others. Something inside Tegoshi felt like it broke, to see Massu treated like everyone else; treated in the same way as all these other people that more than a few members of the staff referred to as ‘street trash’.
“Could’ve caused us quite a lot of trouble, this one,” was the only comment Suzuki-sensei made, before turning his back on Tegoshi to return to tending the lab equipment.
With his mouth gagged, Massu couldn’t say a word, but he didn’t need to. Tegoshi could see no fear in his eyes, but what was there made him feel ten times worse. He hadn’t thought that Massu was capable of looking at someone with hatred, but the way he was staring at Tegoshi made him feel like scum, and he almost wanted to shrink away and hide. It was as though, in that one glare, Massu had packed in all the feelings - the loathing, the disappointment, the disgust - that Tegoshi had been trying to suppress towards himself for two years. Massu was looking at him like he was lower than dirt, and Tegoshi couldn’t deny it that it was true.
His hands were shaking so badly he wasn’t sure he’d be able to hold the needle steady, and the way Massu watched him, not once moving his line of sight from Tegoshi’s face, only made things worse. He wanted to explain to Massu that he had no choice; that if he chose to run, he’d be endangering not only his own life, but his mother’s wellbeing too. That he didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to be doing this, but couldn’t see a way out.
But he couldn’t; not with Suzuki-sensei there, and even if he did, he wasn’t sure Massu would forgive him anyway.
It took Tegoshi three tries to actually get the needle in the vein, something that hadn’t happened since he’d first begun practicing in nursing school. Massu still didn’t look frightened, but his face had gone white, and Tegoshi knew that deep down, he had to be terrified. He wanted to look away as he pressed down on the syringe so he didn’t have to meet Massu’s gaze, wanted to squeeze his eyes shut as he pumped the anesthetic into his bloodstream.
It made him think of the boy he’d infected the other day, the one who’d reminded Tegoshi so much of himself. He’d just given up, closed his eyes and accepted his fate, and Tegoshi couldn’t help but think, was that who he wanted to be?
His thumb faltered on the syringe, and he stopped pushing down, hesitating and biting his lip as he once again locked gazes with Massu.
And then Tegoshi’s face set into an expression grim determination as he slowly withdrew the needle, syringe still partly full, from Massu’s vein.
He must’ve seen something change in Tegoshi’s face, because Massu’s expression changed too, into one of confusion, and maybe, just maybe, with a little bit of hope.
‘Hold on,’ he mouthed to Massu, who seemed to understand and lay still as Tegoshi looked around the lab for something heavy that he could lift. His eyes fell upon the brand new spectrophotometer, not even set up for use yet. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath then edged over to it, keeping an eye on Suzuki-sensei and willing him not to turn around.
The equipment felt pretty heavy, and Tegoshi could only hope that it would be enough. He hefted it up, holding it firmly in both hands, and crept as quietly as he could towards Suzuki-sensei’s turned back. It was only when Tegoshi was right behind him that he sensed another presence in his personal space, and by then it was too late.
“Tegoshi-kun, what…” was as far as he got, before Tegoshi lifted the spectrophotometer up in the air and smashed it down on Suzuki-sensei’s head with a sickening crack. He collapsed to the ground, lying as motionless as a corpse, and Tegoshi couldn’t bring himself to check whether he was dead or not. There were more pressing matters to tend to, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
It didn’t seem like he’d made too much noise, because no one came running, but if somebody happened to come in and catch him, then that would be the end of the line. He set about releasing Massu from his stretcher, unbuckling restraints and taking off the gag while Massu watched him with misty eyes, woozy with anesthetic and looking only half there.
“I've got you,” Tegoshi reassured him, circling him with his arms, and helping him out of the chair.
“Tegoshi...” Massu slumped against him, faces mere inches apart, and for a second, Tegoshi could've sworn that Massu was about to kiss him.
But all he did was sigh, head lolling and body tipping as he fought against the drugs, trying to keep his balance and stay conscious all at once.
Tegoshi shook the feeling off. There was no time for that. They needed to get out of here.
It was like trying to direct a zombie. Massu was barely able to stay upright with support, let alone put one foot in front of the other, and getting him to the elevator was difficult enough in itself. Getting him out of the building was going to be something else altogether.
Just one step at a time, Tegoshi told himself, hitting the button to shut the doors with his elbow as he tried to keep Massu on his feet. They could make it out of here if he could just keep it together.
Tegoshi had never been so terrified to leave the lab before, convinced that half the staff in the building were going to be waiting up top to catch him when the elevator arrived on his floor.
But when the doors parted, the hall was blessedly empty, everyone working away in their offices, and Tegoshi let out the breath he’d been holding.
Massu was losing consciousness further and further with each second that passed, and Tegoshi knew he couldn’t afford to waste any time if he wanted to make a clean getaway. He backed Massu up against the wall and clumsily hoisted him up onto his back. Massu, still present enough to respond, wrapped his arms around Tegoshi’s neck, holding on with a weak grip. He was incredibly limp, a dead weight, and though Tegoshi wasn’t frail by any means, he was shorter and lighter than Massu was, and it made carrying him difficult.
He crept down the hallway as quickly and quietly as he could, heart sinking when he neared Miyagi’s office. Of all the people Tegoshi didn’t want to spot him, Miyagi was at the top of that list, and as usual, the man was working with his office door wide open.
Tegoshi took a deep breath. He couldn’t dither here and risk being seen either. That was just as bad.
He was about to make a run for it when, as if the universe was conspiring against him, Koyama stepped out of Miyagi’s office, right into Tegoshi’s path.
Koyama took a moment to drink in situation - Tegoshi with an unconscious man on his back - then gasped. “Tegoshi-kun, what happened? Is he okay?”
Tegoshi didn’t have time to reply. He legged it out of there, dashing past Koyama and holding Massu tightly by his thighs to keep him on his back.
He let go with one hand to press the elevator button, jabbing at it repeatedly as though that would make it come faster and glancing wildly over his shoulder to make sure no one was closing in on him.
His first lucky break of the day was that it wasn’t lunch time yet, and barely anyone else was using the elevators. The down arrow above the doors lit up, dinging at the same moment he heard footsteps coming down the corridor, and Tegoshi practically leapt through the doors, dropping Massu so he could hit both the close button and the ground floor button at once.
Miyagi got there just as the doors were closing, too late to stop them, and through the tiny crack Tegoshi could see the shock, the realization of what had happened on his face. And Tegoshi stared back at him, steely and defiant, and for the first time ever, proud.
Of course, it wasn’t over yet. As the elevator began its descent, Tegoshi spent the whole time terrified that Miyagi knew some way of shutting off the system and trapping him in there with a completely unconscious Massu.
When the elevator stopped on the twelfth floor, Tegoshi almost had a heart attack, and when the doors slid open to reveal Ryo standing there, he was convinced they were done for.
That was, until Ryo took his eyes off Tegoshi and noticed Massu, slumped on the floor where Tegoshi had left him. His face paled to a sick shade of grey.
“Shit, Taka. What happened to him?”
Tegoshi stared, for a moment uncomprehending, and then it suddenly came together for him. The details didn’t matter; all he needed to understand was that Ryo knew Massu’s name - his real first name - and that was enough for Tegoshi to risk putting trust in him.
“We have to get out of here,” Tegoshi said, and Ryo didn’t argue or ask any more questions. He stepped inside, shutting the doors behind him, and grabbed Massu under the arms as the elevator began to move again, pulling him up from the floor.
Between the two of them, it was easier to pick him up and carry him out into the lobby, slinging his arms over both their shoulders to evenly balance his weight.
They ignored exclamations of shock and the receptionist’s frantic questions about whether they needed an ambulance, and Tegoshi followed Ryo’s lead, helping him carry Massu out the door.
“Where are we going?” He asked, as they started down the street, barreling past the other pedestrians.
“My car, so we can get as far away from here as possible.”
Tegoshi wasn’t going to disagree with that.
They buckled Massu into the backseat, Tegoshi sitting next to him to make sure he was alright, and then Ryo proceeded to break every road rule in the country as he got them out of there as quickly as he could.
Tegoshi imagined that the entire building had gone into full lockdown, and he wondered what would’ve happened if they’d been just that tiny bit slower.
He found he couldn’t relax until they were several kilometers away, the inside of the car was silent and tense.
“I thought you were one of the bad guys,” Ryo said from the front seat, startling him out of his thoughts.
“One of… how much do you know?” Now that Tegoshi felt safer, he was suddenly filled with questions.
“As much as Taka knows,” Ryo replied. “I know about the other lab, and I know you work down there. Not everything. But enough. I’m the one who tipped the authorities off. They sent Taka in to check things out. Should’ve chosen a more competent agent.”
In the rear vision mirror, Tegoshi saw the way Ryo smiled fondly as he said that. It made his heart ache a little, but now wasn’t the time for envy.
“How… they hadn’t told you yet.”
“Yeah, but they were going to. They dropped little hints to check where my morals lay, to see if it was safe to tell me before they dropped the bomb. Too bad I got suspicious.” He said it as though figuring it out was no big thing, and Tegoshi had to remind himself that Ryo was, after all, a genius. “I was invited to one of their big executive gatherings, and got talking with one of the politicians who was in on the whole thing. I don’t know if he was just careless or if he assumed I knew, but some of the things he said backed my suspicions up, and now… here we are.”
“And so you contacted the investigative services?” Tegoshi pressed. He’d never been able to do that for fear of his own life. “And they didn’t catch you?”
“Well, yeah. Like you said, the company hadn’t told me anything yet. Why would they need to keep tabs on me?”
They went over a bump, jostling Massu, and Tegoshi straightened him up again, resting his head against the seat so his neck wouldn’t get hurt. He didn’t notice Ryo watching them in the mirror until he spoke.
“I don’t know how he got his job, but now he’ll have more than enough evidence to bring that corporation to justice. He’s lucky he was rescued. I guess he was wrong about you.”
Tegoshi couldn’t help but cringe. If they were anywhere near as bad as the way he’d had been looking at him down in the lab, Tegoshi didn’t want to imagine the kind of things Massu must’ve said about him.
“Did he know about me before today?”
Ryo made a noise of affirmation. “He’s known for a while. He got close to you so he could gather information. He found your key card, the library one, and got it checked out. Suspected you ever since.”
Well, that explained where his wallet had gone, but having loose ends come together didn’t make him feel any better. Massu had used him, had been using him from the beginning.
But then again, Tegoshi wasn’t much better. He’d been using Massu too, as a crutch to get him through the day, as a distraction to take his mind of all the hurt he was inflicting on other people. Maybe, in a way, what he’d been doing was worse.
“So, what now?”
And Tegoshi really did have to wonder, what now? At the very least, he figured that he no longer needed to fear for his own life. With all the evidence Massu had collected and everything he’d been through today, there was no way the company would still be running by the end of the week. He and his mother would be put under protective custody until they knew they were safe, but what would happen after that?
Tegoshi had only been in the job for two years, but it felt more like decades. He hadn’t liked to think about the future, but in the back of his mind, he’d known it was likely that he’d have been trapped there for the rest of his life, or until he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Taka reports back to his agency, the company gets shut down and…” Ryo trailed off, and Tegoshi could see that he looked hesitant about continuing. “There’ll be a trial, Tegoshi-kun. And as someone who worked there, you…”
“That’s okay,” Tegoshi interrupted, and part of him felt oddly relieved that he was going to be punished for what he’d done. “Anywhere is better than there.”
Ryo was silent for a long time.
“Thanks for saving Taka,” he finally said.
Tegoshi looked at Massu’s peaceful expression, daring to trace the tips of his fingers over Massu’s upturned palm. It was funny. Just like everyone else, Massu hadn’t been who he’d said he was, perhaps more so than anyone else in Tegoshi’s life. And yet somehow, that didn’t matter anymore. Thanks to Massu, things were going to change, and Tegoshi found himself wondering exactly who had saved whom.
---
It felt strange, finally having his freedom back. Technically, he wouldn’t be free for long because the beginning of the Miyagi Pharmaceutical Corporation trial was creeping closer and closer, but even in prison, Tegoshi was pretty sure there’d be no difference. He was on home detention until the trial began, but despite being limited in where he could go, he’d never felt like a freer man.
He’d already begun attending therapy sessions - on his mother’s request, because she insisted there was no way he’d come out the other side of that with no mental trauma - and things were generally looking up.
“You know, we could do something about your sentence,” Massu told him when they met up again for coffee, after Ryo had filled him in on the details he’d missed out on. “You were blackmailed, and you never murdered anyone. And the government is going to keep as much of this from the public as they can to try and save face. You don’t have to go through this.”
“I’m going to plead guilty,” Tegoshi said firmly, and he caught the beginnings of a smile in the way Massu’s lips twitched at the corners. “I want to make it up to all those people I… this is the best way to do it, I think.”
“You’re interesting,” Massu said eventually. “Interesting and a bit strange.”
Tegoshi ducked his head and grinned. “How’s Ryo? No more sneaking around together, right?”
Massu flushed, and Tegoshi hid his smug smirk of triumph. If he couldn’t have Massu to himself, the least he could do was get a bit of mileage out of it.
“So, what. Uh, what are you going to do when this is all over?” He asked, obviously trying to change the subject. Tegoshi let him get away with it.
“Who knows? That could be years from now,” he said, and Massu shook his head, muttering something about how no one should sound this cheerful about facing a prison sentence. “Actually, I was thinking, I want to go back into nursing.”
Massu cocked his head. “You know, I never got to ask, but… why nursing? Your mother was telling me that when you were little, the only thing you ever talked about was being a star soccer player.” Tegoshi snickered, causing Massu to raise an eyebrow. “What?”
“Well. When I was 12, I had to go and get shots. I was terrified. Of course, I put on a brave face and pretended I wasn’t scared at all… but my nurse was so nice. And handsome. It barely hurt at all, and then he gave me a lollipop afterwards. I’ve wanted to become a nurse ever since.”
Massu stared at him for a moment, as though he couldn’t believe it. “You mean you chose to become a nurse, because…”
“He was my first love,” Tegoshi said, completely nonchalant about it, then noticing that Massu was still looking dubious, continued, “I was studying pediatric nursing. It’s really scary for kids, having to go to the doctor and get an injection or an operation, so it’s great if there’s someone there who can make you feel better.”
Massu shook his head and sighed, sounding almost exasperated, but in the end he smiled. “Good luck, then. If it’s you, I think you’ll be able to make it.”
“Thanks.”
They finished their coffee, and Massu - naturally - went to pay for both of them. As Tegoshi was waiting, he noticed a familiar face sitting alone at one of the tables, a black coffee sitting untouched in front of him, next to a heavy textbook.
“Ready to go?”
Tegoshi nodded. “In a moment. There’s just something I want to take care of first.”
“Take care of…?” Massu said, but found himself talking to empty air.
“Hi.” Dark, startled eyes looked up into Tegoshi’s as he pulled out a chair and sat down without invitation. “Hey, don’t we catch the same bus? I’m sure I recognize you.”
“I… I think… yeah,” the law student stuttered as his face started to burn. “Yeah. From the bus.”
“I never got the chance to introduce myself. I’m Tegoshi Yuya,” he said, looking up at the man through his eyelashes. “Nice to meet you.”
“Kato Shigeaki,” came the slightly awkward reply. “Nice to… meet you too.”
Tegoshi could see Massu waiting by the door out of the corner of his eye, and knew they had better get going. He grabbed Shigeaki’s napkin without asking and fished a pen out of his pocket, scrawling his name and number down on it in bold letters.
“I don’t think I’ll be catching the bus for a while, but if you ever watch to catch up some time…” He slid the napkin over to Shigeaki’s side of the table and got up, shooting him one last smile. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”
“What was that all about?” Massu asked as they left the shop.
Tegoshi wiggled his eyebrows, unable to hold back a smile. “Just tying up some loose ends.”
He didn’t feel the need to explain any further. After all, he’d been given a chance to begin a new life, and what better time to start than now?