Gift fic for lilly0
Gift fic for: lilly0
From: newsficcon
Title: Knowing
Rating: PG 15? (not sure, no sex, just some mild things, I’m not good at rating)
Pairing: Nishikido/Tegoshi, a little of Ryoko/Yuko and Taka/Ryo
Warnings: If you don’t like the mention of Taka going out don’t read. I haven’t written in a long time, so my story flow is very shaky at best.
Summary: Tegoshi wants to find out about himself and end up dragging Nishikido along
Notes: I’m not my best in this story, I’m very sorry, I’m very rusty since I have not been writing for quite sometimes.
He would always look up in the lone dark sky searching for that one shining star. That one glimmer of hope in the dark, dark world he was in. People might have seen him as an explosion of energy on stage and all smiles but not one who knew the real him. Who he wanted to be. “Are you sure?” the manly voice behind him spoke.
With a soft curve carved on his face, he nodded. “At least I have you to go through it with me.” He spoke softly. “I'm scared Ryo. What if the outcome is not what I have been expecting all this while.” He said quietly.
Nishikido took his hand softly as he wrapped his hand around the younger boy. “Right now I'm not only your senpai, Yuya. I'm your friend. I've always been your friend and I will always be.” He spoke softly.
Deep in his heart, Nishikido knew he would never had believe in fortune teller and fate reader. Yet, for Tegoshi's sake there is nothing he would not support. “But you can never tell anything to anyone. Please. Please. Please.” Tegoshi spoke almost begging the older one. Nishikido just smiled. “Not one soul.”
“Don't you worry, Yuya. You know how I am. I'm in this together with you all the way. This way we'd know the real you.” Nishikido coaxed the younger one softly. “As much as I want the old you, I'd be happy just to have you here with me.” All he wanted was to have the boy beside him. He himself was not sure what the feelings were.
For a while the weird feeling had been brewing inside of Nishikido, a feeling leaning more than just a friend. The care that he was not just for a little brother. The feeling that makes him accepts Tegoshi for who he is. The feeling that makes him learns to accept the younger one's orientation. Though he would never accept, he too doubted his own orientation.
Blanketed by the dark night sky, two lonely souls embraced each other until the morning sun rises. A new dawn for a new day. New beginning for the both of them. The day that the both of them had been waiting for months.
Everything went on as it would be any given day. The sun was bright, the day was perfect. Nishikido was just being in his happy mood not to tease Tegoshi for what had happened the night before. “Are you still up for it?” Tegoshi questioned as he got in the car.
“I wouldn’t be in the driver’s seat if I’m not.” Nishikido said emotionlessly. His face was saying as if he did not care and the trip will not bother him. Like it was a normal reflex, his hand touched the Tegoshi’s when he was sure they were out of sight from the band house. “I’ll always be your support no matter what. But tell me why are we going to a fortune teller instead of a head doctor?”
The younger boy just smiled. No matter how he tried to explain it to anyone, no one seems to understand him. But there was no harm in trying to explain it once again. He had nothing to lose anyway. “A shrink will see and evaluate what’s there in front of his eyes.” Tegoshi began to explain himself. “Madam Esmeralda sees what’s in the purest of your heart. She knows the deepest felling and your deepest secret. The secret that even you have no clue of.”
The car ride was a quiet one. Nishikido did not ask another question after Tegoshi answered him the last time. The long winding road mated with the unsurfaced and bumpy gravel just made the ride that much harder. Much more since the radio was busted. The four long hours car ride finally came to an end as Nishikido brought the car to a halt. “I really hope you‘ll find your answer here.” He said cynically yet in the deepest of his heart he was sincere in saying it.
The grounds were barren with nothingness but yellowing dried grass. A tiny tent that could barely fit 3 people, stood firmly in the middle of the field. Not a sign of living thing were apparent at the place, yet as they peered into the tent there was seated a middle aged lady. Her appearance was normal and her clothes were just average. “I’ve been waiting for the both of you.” She said as she looked up at them. Her eyes were as white as snow. There was no pupil in them. “Don’t be afraid, I can’t even see your face.” Her voice was soft and gentle yet there was something intimidating about it.
Nishikido looked at the younger boy beside him. “How does she know there are two of us?” He mouthed. Tegoshi just replied to him with a shrugged. The lady in front of them just smiled and offered them the seats.
They were asked to place their palm on the table facing upward. “Nishikido-kun, you are a very kind person, yet you are too closed up to be yourself. You don’t have to be insecure of what others think of you and you don’t have to be afraid of other’s opinion.” Madam Esmeralda said as she touched Nishikido’s hand. “And Tegoshi-kun, don’t you ever doubt your heart and don’t let others intimidate you for your differences. You are great as who you are.”
*******
As if they were trance, the both of them woke up together in the motel in the middle of nowhere. A quick splash of water to his face was all it was needed for him to scream his heart out. “Yuya, wake up we have to go back to the lady now.” He said frantically.
“Relax, she going to be there, always. She has been there for hundreds of years.” Tegoshi mumbled in his sleep.
Grabbing the younger one’s collar Nishikido demanded. “What on earth are you saying? Are you out of your mind? You dragged me all the way out here just to see some ghost?” Tegoshi rubbed his eyes lazily as he opened them just enough to see the being Nishikido had become.
His reaction was stunned. All he could do was agape. “You are actually pretty.” Tegoshi said pouting a little. “You even have bigger breast than me.” He whined as he turned over the blanket that was covering his body.
“You knew?” Nishikido spoke in disbelief.
Tegoshi just smiled. “Of course. Though it only last for 24 hours. Unless you are meant to be. That’s how I’ll know if I am only a metrosexual or am I actually born with a boy’s body. Because I trust you and I know you will never tell anyone else about this.” He explained. Before Nishikido even had a chance to open his mouth, Tegoshi was faster to cut his question in his mind. “Not that I have ever been to her before, but my cousin had, and so did Moriuchi.”
Moriuchi, a name that he had been waiting to hear. The face that he had been longing to see. As if a surge of another being came over him, he embraced the younger boy softly. “If only I could take the pain from you.” He said quietly.
Surprised by the genuine gentleness of the older one, Tegoshi just stood stunned as his face was mashed in the breast of Nishikido. A place that he thought he could never be comfortable in, yet he felt safe and secured in Nishikido’s embrace. He wanted to ask, but he knew it does not matter as long as he was with Nishikido. He have Nishikido all to himself.
Knocking sound rapt on the door suddenly. Like a person that was naked, Nishikido ran and locked himself in the bath room. A familiar voice spoke as the voice grew clearer. “You are pretty.” Nishikido heard the voice said. “Well, I’m still me. That was only a phase I had to go through. It was fun while it lasted though.” The voice continued.
The baby of the group. Nishikido closed his eyes as memories of them together flooded his mind. Why him? Why did he have to be the one taking the fault for the mistakes for him. As he opens his eyes hot liquid threated to fall.
“NIshikido-san, come on, you are a pretty girl. Besides you can’t stay in the bath room forever. I am going to stay here as long as it takes. Besides, I own the place.” The youngest of them teased the older one. “Or are you molesting yourself in there, because you do have a huge one. How does it feel? I know you like it. Are you touching yourself?”
Hot blood steaming up his face as he felt like his heart could just drop at any second. Not that he did not want to get out and meet the person that he had yearned to meet for so long. The person that had him felt like he does not have anything to hide. The very first person who had made him felt loved. “Don’t laugh.” Was all that he could cough up with.
A giggle followed by “fine” was heard. A few mumbled words came afterwards yet, he just choose to ignore those last few words. Before Nishikido could even say ‘Hi’, the younger one jumped on him and embraced him so tightly that he would never let the older one go. “You have no idea how much it hurts missing you like this. In whatever form, whatever gender you are, I just miss you so much.” The boy who is now a man said.
24 hours passed like it was only minutes for Nishikido. The excruciating pain came after as his body began to evolve to its normal state again for him. For Tegoshi it was like a breeze in the park, like it never happened.
Grabbing tight on the sheets, he felt as if someone is cracking open his chest and ripping his skin shred by shred. “Why is he in so much pain?” He heard Tegoshi’s voice spoke. No answer was given in return. Not long after Tegoshi became restless and removed himself from the room. The soft touch of Moriuchi’s roughed hand touched him.
“Don’t touch me” Nishikido said snapping at the younger one. He might not know what was going on, he might not understand what the younger one had felt when he was removed from the group and the agency, but he knew his heart was no longer available for the younger boy.
Moriuchi hesitated. “You used to say you liked me more than just a friend.” He said quietly. As if his heart was broken into a million pieces and was burnt into ashes, Moriuchi had to accept that he was no longer needed in Nishikido’s life as he thought he would be needed.
Panting hard trying to catch his breath Nishikido struggled to speak. “You are no more than a brother to me. That was it. When you threw me out of your life and shut me off completely, I felt like I lost a part of me that day.”
Tegoshi knew he should not have eaves drop the conversation between the two, but he could not help but to be protective over his lover. Nishikido might not remember what he said in his sleep, but Tegoshi could remember it word by word.
“It doesn’t matter whether you’re a girl or a boy, Yuya, I will protect you with my life if that is what it takes for you to be yourself. No one can harm and no one will ever hurt you again.” Nishikido said as he gently brush away the stray hair from Tegoshi’s temple.
“He’s calling for you .” Moriuchi’s devastated voice startled him as the door was open wide. Inside he could see a panting and broken man, yet he was perfect. As Tegoshi began to step inside the room, Moriuchi stopped him in his step. “Don’t you ever dare hurt him. Ever.” He warned.
Tegoshi’s embrace was all it takes to soothe the pain and the hurt that tore his body in order to know his true self. In order to know his true heart. To learn to love and let go of the feeling as he should have years ago. To have his heart broken and to have it mended. To have his soul torn and repaired as to have to let his feeling out to the one person he had been protecting with his life at the cost of another.
“Taka, you have always been my little brother and nothing more than that. It was my fault that you were let go and it was me who led you on. To apologize means nothing right now, but I have to tell you, I do like you more than a friend, like a brother that I need and will protect with my life. But it’s Yuya who I love. I had to do it, so that you can be who you are now, a far more successful person than if you had stayed by my side.” Nishikido said as he held both his friends’ hands.
End・Fin
From: newsficcon
Title: Knowing
Rating: PG 15? (not sure, no sex, just some mild things, I’m not good at rating)
Pairing: Nishikido/Tegoshi, a little of Ryoko/Yuko and Taka/Ryo
Warnings: If you don’t like the mention of Taka going out don’t read. I haven’t written in a long time, so my story flow is very shaky at best.
Summary: Tegoshi wants to find out about himself and end up dragging Nishikido along
Notes: I’m not my best in this story, I’m very sorry, I’m very rusty since I have not been writing for quite sometimes.
He would always look up in the lone dark sky searching for that one shining star. That one glimmer of hope in the dark, dark world he was in. People might have seen him as an explosion of energy on stage and all smiles but not one who knew the real him. Who he wanted to be. “Are you sure?” the manly voice behind him spoke.
With a soft curve carved on his face, he nodded. “At least I have you to go through it with me.” He spoke softly. “I'm scared Ryo. What if the outcome is not what I have been expecting all this while.” He said quietly.
Nishikido took his hand softly as he wrapped his hand around the younger boy. “Right now I'm not only your senpai, Yuya. I'm your friend. I've always been your friend and I will always be.” He spoke softly.
Deep in his heart, Nishikido knew he would never had believe in fortune teller and fate reader. Yet, for Tegoshi's sake there is nothing he would not support. “But you can never tell anything to anyone. Please. Please. Please.” Tegoshi spoke almost begging the older one. Nishikido just smiled. “Not one soul.”
“Don't you worry, Yuya. You know how I am. I'm in this together with you all the way. This way we'd know the real you.” Nishikido coaxed the younger one softly. “As much as I want the old you, I'd be happy just to have you here with me.” All he wanted was to have the boy beside him. He himself was not sure what the feelings were.
For a while the weird feeling had been brewing inside of Nishikido, a feeling leaning more than just a friend. The care that he was not just for a little brother. The feeling that makes him accepts Tegoshi for who he is. The feeling that makes him learns to accept the younger one's orientation. Though he would never accept, he too doubted his own orientation.
Blanketed by the dark night sky, two lonely souls embraced each other until the morning sun rises. A new dawn for a new day. New beginning for the both of them. The day that the both of them had been waiting for months.
Everything went on as it would be any given day. The sun was bright, the day was perfect. Nishikido was just being in his happy mood not to tease Tegoshi for what had happened the night before. “Are you still up for it?” Tegoshi questioned as he got in the car.
“I wouldn’t be in the driver’s seat if I’m not.” Nishikido said emotionlessly. His face was saying as if he did not care and the trip will not bother him. Like it was a normal reflex, his hand touched the Tegoshi’s when he was sure they were out of sight from the band house. “I’ll always be your support no matter what. But tell me why are we going to a fortune teller instead of a head doctor?”
The younger boy just smiled. No matter how he tried to explain it to anyone, no one seems to understand him. But there was no harm in trying to explain it once again. He had nothing to lose anyway. “A shrink will see and evaluate what’s there in front of his eyes.” Tegoshi began to explain himself. “Madam Esmeralda sees what’s in the purest of your heart. She knows the deepest felling and your deepest secret. The secret that even you have no clue of.”
The car ride was a quiet one. Nishikido did not ask another question after Tegoshi answered him the last time. The long winding road mated with the unsurfaced and bumpy gravel just made the ride that much harder. Much more since the radio was busted. The four long hours car ride finally came to an end as Nishikido brought the car to a halt. “I really hope you‘ll find your answer here.” He said cynically yet in the deepest of his heart he was sincere in saying it.
The grounds were barren with nothingness but yellowing dried grass. A tiny tent that could barely fit 3 people, stood firmly in the middle of the field. Not a sign of living thing were apparent at the place, yet as they peered into the tent there was seated a middle aged lady. Her appearance was normal and her clothes were just average. “I’ve been waiting for the both of you.” She said as she looked up at them. Her eyes were as white as snow. There was no pupil in them. “Don’t be afraid, I can’t even see your face.” Her voice was soft and gentle yet there was something intimidating about it.
Nishikido looked at the younger boy beside him. “How does she know there are two of us?” He mouthed. Tegoshi just replied to him with a shrugged. The lady in front of them just smiled and offered them the seats.
They were asked to place their palm on the table facing upward. “Nishikido-kun, you are a very kind person, yet you are too closed up to be yourself. You don’t have to be insecure of what others think of you and you don’t have to be afraid of other’s opinion.” Madam Esmeralda said as she touched Nishikido’s hand. “And Tegoshi-kun, don’t you ever doubt your heart and don’t let others intimidate you for your differences. You are great as who you are.”
*******
As if they were trance, the both of them woke up together in the motel in the middle of nowhere. A quick splash of water to his face was all it was needed for him to scream his heart out. “Yuya, wake up we have to go back to the lady now.” He said frantically.
“Relax, she going to be there, always. She has been there for hundreds of years.” Tegoshi mumbled in his sleep.
Grabbing the younger one’s collar Nishikido demanded. “What on earth are you saying? Are you out of your mind? You dragged me all the way out here just to see some ghost?” Tegoshi rubbed his eyes lazily as he opened them just enough to see the being Nishikido had become.
His reaction was stunned. All he could do was agape. “You are actually pretty.” Tegoshi said pouting a little. “You even have bigger breast than me.” He whined as he turned over the blanket that was covering his body.
“You knew?” Nishikido spoke in disbelief.
Tegoshi just smiled. “Of course. Though it only last for 24 hours. Unless you are meant to be. That’s how I’ll know if I am only a metrosexual or am I actually born with a boy’s body. Because I trust you and I know you will never tell anyone else about this.” He explained. Before Nishikido even had a chance to open his mouth, Tegoshi was faster to cut his question in his mind. “Not that I have ever been to her before, but my cousin had, and so did Moriuchi.”
Moriuchi, a name that he had been waiting to hear. The face that he had been longing to see. As if a surge of another being came over him, he embraced the younger boy softly. “If only I could take the pain from you.” He said quietly.
Surprised by the genuine gentleness of the older one, Tegoshi just stood stunned as his face was mashed in the breast of Nishikido. A place that he thought he could never be comfortable in, yet he felt safe and secured in Nishikido’s embrace. He wanted to ask, but he knew it does not matter as long as he was with Nishikido. He have Nishikido all to himself.
Knocking sound rapt on the door suddenly. Like a person that was naked, Nishikido ran and locked himself in the bath room. A familiar voice spoke as the voice grew clearer. “You are pretty.” Nishikido heard the voice said. “Well, I’m still me. That was only a phase I had to go through. It was fun while it lasted though.” The voice continued.
The baby of the group. Nishikido closed his eyes as memories of them together flooded his mind. Why him? Why did he have to be the one taking the fault for the mistakes for him. As he opens his eyes hot liquid threated to fall.
“NIshikido-san, come on, you are a pretty girl. Besides you can’t stay in the bath room forever. I am going to stay here as long as it takes. Besides, I own the place.” The youngest of them teased the older one. “Or are you molesting yourself in there, because you do have a huge one. How does it feel? I know you like it. Are you touching yourself?”
Hot blood steaming up his face as he felt like his heart could just drop at any second. Not that he did not want to get out and meet the person that he had yearned to meet for so long. The person that had him felt like he does not have anything to hide. The very first person who had made him felt loved. “Don’t laugh.” Was all that he could cough up with.
A giggle followed by “fine” was heard. A few mumbled words came afterwards yet, he just choose to ignore those last few words. Before Nishikido could even say ‘Hi’, the younger one jumped on him and embraced him so tightly that he would never let the older one go. “You have no idea how much it hurts missing you like this. In whatever form, whatever gender you are, I just miss you so much.” The boy who is now a man said.
24 hours passed like it was only minutes for Nishikido. The excruciating pain came after as his body began to evolve to its normal state again for him. For Tegoshi it was like a breeze in the park, like it never happened.
Grabbing tight on the sheets, he felt as if someone is cracking open his chest and ripping his skin shred by shred. “Why is he in so much pain?” He heard Tegoshi’s voice spoke. No answer was given in return. Not long after Tegoshi became restless and removed himself from the room. The soft touch of Moriuchi’s roughed hand touched him.
“Don’t touch me” Nishikido said snapping at the younger one. He might not know what was going on, he might not understand what the younger one had felt when he was removed from the group and the agency, but he knew his heart was no longer available for the younger boy.
Moriuchi hesitated. “You used to say you liked me more than just a friend.” He said quietly. As if his heart was broken into a million pieces and was burnt into ashes, Moriuchi had to accept that he was no longer needed in Nishikido’s life as he thought he would be needed.
Panting hard trying to catch his breath Nishikido struggled to speak. “You are no more than a brother to me. That was it. When you threw me out of your life and shut me off completely, I felt like I lost a part of me that day.”
Tegoshi knew he should not have eaves drop the conversation between the two, but he could not help but to be protective over his lover. Nishikido might not remember what he said in his sleep, but Tegoshi could remember it word by word.
“It doesn’t matter whether you’re a girl or a boy, Yuya, I will protect you with my life if that is what it takes for you to be yourself. No one can harm and no one will ever hurt you again.” Nishikido said as he gently brush away the stray hair from Tegoshi’s temple.
“He’s calling for you .” Moriuchi’s devastated voice startled him as the door was open wide. Inside he could see a panting and broken man, yet he was perfect. As Tegoshi began to step inside the room, Moriuchi stopped him in his step. “Don’t you ever dare hurt him. Ever.” He warned.
Tegoshi’s embrace was all it takes to soothe the pain and the hurt that tore his body in order to know his true self. In order to know his true heart. To learn to love and let go of the feeling as he should have years ago. To have his heart broken and to have it mended. To have his soul torn and repaired as to have to let his feeling out to the one person he had been protecting with his life at the cost of another.
“Taka, you have always been my little brother and nothing more than that. It was my fault that you were let go and it was me who led you on. To apologize means nothing right now, but I have to tell you, I do like you more than a friend, like a brother that I need and will protect with my life. But it’s Yuya who I love. I had to do it, so that you can be who you are now, a far more successful person than if you had stayed by my side.” Nishikido said as he held both his friends’ hands.
End・Fin