If you're going through hell, keep going.
I woke up at 9:45 today (not normal but becoming so); I don't usually need 9-10 hours of sleep. My next-door neighbor (prone to yelling) has been blasting pounding, aggressive music since 10:15. In the space of 12 hours, two dear friends told me they've just accepted great jobs with great salaries. I am genuinely happy for them! But increasingly scared for myself. (And angry with my dad, and trying to remember "Don't go to the hardware store for milk," and just hating everything, including myself, generally.) But my friend Krista is very wise these days, and I want to record some of the things she said to me this morning, while we were texting and I was sitting there crying, trying to block out the wall-punching bass from next door.ME: Yeah. Well, I'm worried I've waited too long now, story of my life.
Well, it's scary to be in a place where you aren't sure where you're limits should be, you just know they aren't correct as they are
No!! That's ridiculous. You're perfect. You are in the process of making a big change. Be gentle with yourself
You haven't screwed up your life!!! It only feels like that
Take a deep breath, and remember that life has thrown you some curveballs, and you dealt with them, but you had to put yourself aside. Now you can put yourself front and center again, you just forgot how
It's not permanent! [...]
Okay, remember that you're whole adult life has been hell, one you didn't create
And remember that you are rebuilding your life from the ground up
And those rules are not for people who are starting over
Those are for people who have the things you're looking for right now
Take a breath, your life isn't over, it just feels like it
Man, I want her to be right.
This was originally posted on Dreamwidth, where it has
comments. I would love to hear from you at DW! If you can see this post, you can comment here using OpenID. Thanks!
Well, it's scary to be in a place where you aren't sure where you're limits should be, you just know they aren't correct as they are
No!! That's ridiculous. You're perfect. You are in the process of making a big change. Be gentle with yourself
You haven't screwed up your life!!! It only feels like that
Take a deep breath, and remember that life has thrown you some curveballs, and you dealt with them, but you had to put yourself aside. Now you can put yourself front and center again, you just forgot how
It's not permanent! [...]
Okay, remember that you're whole adult life has been hell, one you didn't create
And remember that you are rebuilding your life from the ground up
And those rules are not for people who are starting over
Those are for people who have the things you're looking for right now
Take a breath, your life isn't over, it just feels like it
Man, I want her to be right.
This was originally posted on Dreamwidth, where it has
comments. I would love to hear from you at DW! If you can see this post, you can comment here using OpenID. Thanks!