(no subject)

Mar 02, 2009 10:44

Title: Collaboration Part 2
Rating: definitely NC-17/18/whatever the hell “shameless porn in writing comes under these days…. Or it will be in later parts. Not much in this one.
Summary: The Doctor and Ianto collaborate for Jack’s birthday present.
A/N: Don’t ask… its much safer believe me.
Disclaimer: I am the proud owner of some Torchwood Series 1 DVDs and a calendar. That is it. Oh, and a couple of John Barrowman CD’s and an autobiography…. But yeah… nothing else but a dirty mind…The boys will be returned later, when I’m done playing with them. No profit, so don’t sue, I’m skint. There’s nothing left in my bank…
Unbeta-d so all mistakes are mine. Sorry.

Part summary: in which Torchwood gets a new pet.

Previous parts:

I don’t think he’s wrong
http://newra-skylarke.livejournal.com/4284.html
I didn’t know, I swear!
  http://newra-skylarke.livejournal.com/4887.html
 The Consequences of being bad:
http://newra-skylarke.livejournal.com/5394.html
Collabouration Part 1

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The Doctor started running, Ianto following close behind. The Doctor skidded to a halt where he’d parked and ran his fingers through his hair in a worried fashion, his face contorted with panic. With his other hand he pointed to the spot where the Tardis should have been and wasn’t. “It was there. Right there!”

Ianto smiled, tapping his comms device. “Jack.”

“Yes Ianto?” Jack’s voice purred softly in his ear.

“I have a distressed Time Lord and a missing Tardis to report. What information can you get on that?” Ianto tried to keep the humour out of his voice and the smile off his face as the Doctor wheeled to face him.

“Tell him not to park on my back door and I won’t move his transport.” Ianto could hear Jack’s glee. Despite his age, his inner child still loved to come out and play tricks.

Ianto looked to the Doctor. “Jack says he moved it because you parked on his back door.

“Where to?” the Doctor didn’t seem comforted by the news that someone else had shifted his Tardis without him knowing about it.

“The same spot geographically, just about fifty feet down. It’s in the Hub. Come one. I’ll take you inside so you can thump him… or kiss him, which ever you feel like doing first.” He started towards the Tourist Office.

“That’s the Tourist Office,” the Doctor pointed out.

“Like I said the back door is way cooler than the front. And you are still parked on the back door. Unless Jack moved it off.”

The Doctor followed him down to the Hub, where he found a very smug Jack waiting for him.

“My two favourite people! Nice to see you Doctor. Sorry about moving the Tardis. She didn’t seem to mind being moved out of the rain though.” He smirked. “In fact I’d even go so far as to say she was pleased.”

“I still don’t see how a ship can be pleased about anything. It’s a ship.” Gwen’s sceptic Welsh tones drifted over from her desk.

“And I told you she’s sentient. Considering some of the other stuff we see in this job this isn’t that weird. We saw a weirder thing this morning.” Jack shuddered but didn’t elaborate. Gwen just shrugged, still looking sceptical. The Doctor turned to Ianto.

“We had a little creature in this morning. Completely harmless, seemed to be all tentacles and stumpy little legs. Adored Jack. Kept trying to hump his leg when Jack wasn’t paying attention. Very funny, though disturbing. We have no idea what it is, and Jack wasn’t impressed or even vaguely amused by its antics. It’s in the cells now, and I personally think it’s pining after him. Not that we can tell because it doesn’t speak, but it sounds unhappy and looks a little miserable. Almost like a little dog or something. I told jack he should go and pet it but he’s having none of it, and decided throwing his pen at me was the only appropriate adult response to such an idea.”

The Doctor frowned. “If it’s harmless why have you locked it up?”

“It’s just until we find out what it is and work out what to do with it. We can’t have it running around the Hub.” Jack called from his office door.

“We gave it a paddling pool to play in as it seems to like water, and we’re taking it in turns to keep it company. Martha and Mickey are down there at the moment. And I think Jenny went down to take a look too. Jack of course has had far to much paperwork to risk his leg being humped again.” Ianto smiled wryly.

“I’m quite happy not having something made of tentacles attatched to my leg thank you very much.” Jack lobbed another pen in Ianto’s direction, followed by a second one when it missed.

The Doctor laughed at the normally unphased Captain’s antics. “Let me see it. Bet you I can tell you what it is.”

Ianto and Jack led the way, bickering all the way down to the cells over the small creature, followed by a still laughing Doctor and Gwen, who was shaking her head.

“What’s in here?” The Doctor asked, leaning towards the glass of one of the cells to get a better look at its shifty inhabitant. He peered in, only to leap back when something leapt towards him.

“Weevils. Those are dangerous. Will rip out your jugular as soon as look at you. Assuming you have a jugular of course.” Ianto replied, remembering the Doctor was alien and glancing at his slim throat.

“Yes I do, and if I’m honest I’m quite attatched to it.” He put a hand up to rub his neck, gulping slightly.

They walked on, coming to the cage with the small slimy looking little alien in it. It turned to face them before hopping out of the pool and running to the glass front. Martha and Mickey waved.

Jack backed away, apparently still more than a little perturbed by it.

“Aww,” the Doctor said, crouching down. “He’s only little. This is like locking a puppy up!” The ‘puppy’ approached the Doctor, who stuck a finger through a hole in the glass. “It’s a baby splatchling. It’s a kind of pet. Lots of planets have imported and exported them for years, so no one is really sure where they come from. Bit like a dog. Labradors are a good example of the stereotypical splatchling. Craves attention. Loves all things fuss and food related. Eager to please.” The Doctor smiled at the cute little creature. If it had a tail, he was sure it would be wagging it.

Ianto opened the door, and it ran out, allowing the Doctor to fuss over it happily. It ran over to where Jack was hastily climbing onto a stool, jumping up towards him. It couldn’t quite reach him, and when he stamped at it with his heavy boot, it scarpered back to the Doctor amid cries of “Jack!” and “Don’t be mean!” from everyone else.

“I don’t want it humping my leg again!” Jack replied, trying to defend his position.

“He’ll only do that if you ignore him. It’s attention seeking behaviour,” said the Doctor, picking it up. It snuggled into him, nestling happily in his arms, basking in the attention being lavished upon it. “You could keep him as a pet. You have a water feature he’d like.”

“We already have a pet pterodactyl!” Jack protested.

“Oh go on Jack. It’s cute!” Gwen said. “Please can we keep him?” She fluttered her eyelashes at him, knowing he wouldn’t refuse. He never did.

“We could train him not to hump your leg,” Ianto offered, walking over to his Captain, running his hand up the back of Jack’s calf, relaxing him a little.

Jack looked down at the splatchling dubiously. It was being molly coddled by Gwen and the Doctor. It was cute; he’d give it that. And it didn’t seem so much slimy as smooth and shiny, like a snake. He got down from the stool and walked over, tentatively reaching out a hand towards it. It pushed its soft head into Jack’s hand making a contented keening sound at the attention.

“Now that you’ve made friends can we get him out of your dungeon? And lets give him a name. Can’t go around calling him ‘it’.” The Doctor said, catching the Captain’s small smile, which he quickly removed as the Doctor spoke. The splatchling made no indication that it objected to being referred to as an ‘it’ so long as someone was paying attention.

“How about…” Gwen paused, thinking for a second, “I’m half tempted to say Owen, just because he would have balked something chronic at the idea of a small pet alien being named after him.” She smiled.

Jack laughed. “Yes he would.”

“Especially as it’s so happy,” Ianto added.

“Owen it is then,” said Martha, stroking the newly christened member of the team.

The Doctor grinned, placing the splatchling on the floor. He walked away a few steps and then turned to it, patting his leg. “Come on then.”

Owen ran after him, skipping round his heels, eliciting an “Aww” from everyone. Jack cracked a smile, scooping up the splatchling, who, due to being short in stature and having slightly slippy legs, was having considerable difficulty navigating the stairs up to the main Hub.

After depositing Owen in his new, slightly bigger pool and leaving him to play, Jack asked the obvious question.

“So what brings you to Cardiff?”

“It’s your birthday tomorrow. Thought I’d make an appearance. I’ve only missed the last God knows how many,” he replied nonchalantly. Jack, however, wasn’t buying it.

“I’ve never told you when my birthday was. How did you know?” He folded his arms.

Ianto inwardly blanched. They hadn’t worked out the logistics of that one. The Doctor didn’t so much as blink.

“Ianto told me when I spoke to him about a week ago. And I think Martha mentioned it last time I spoke to her too. Said something about a party. I like parties.” He smiled his dazzling smile, fooling Jack. “And don’t I get hugs when I come to see you any more?” He changed the subject, opening his arms to the Captain, who smiled, stepping into the Time Lord’s embrace, pulling him into a close hug, which lingered a few seconds longer than was strictly necessary.

Ianto breathed a sigh of relief as the Doctor hugged the rest of them in turn before turning to him. “Nice save,” he whispered, feeling the Doctor smile against him.

Jack was not an easy man to slip anything by, but clearly the Doctor was a master at it. Disaster averted.

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Sorry this has taken so long to post up. I have had a lot going on recently, including another bloody knee operation… grrrrr… and to add insult to injury I lost my notebook which had this whole story in it (or at least the bit I’ve written so far) … so yeah… obviously I have found it now and I will endeavour to post more often!
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