lava and skydiving crones
I have to admit, I’m a little bit mesmerized by slow lava flows like the ones going on in Hawaii. It’s this lumpy disgusting unstoppable progression of unbearable hotness that just immolates anything in its path…. but at the same time it’s just sooooooooooooooooooooo bloody slow! Imagine if you lived near an oozing pyroclastic flow emitting volcano like that - you’d initially be terrified and running around like a panicked headless chook (as opposed to the relaxed headless chickens who take their decapitation in stride, acting all mellow and chilled as they headlessly promenade around the hen pen). You’d be frantically throwing all of your belongings, your pets and your family members into suitcases to make a quick escape.. and then you’d see how sluggishly the lava was moving and you’d realise you have weeks and weeks to organise and prepare for your departure before it gets anywhere near you. It’s just bizarre - deadly, unstoppable and unremittingly destructive, but also so slow that even a senior citizen toting an oxygen tank could outrun it!
In other news, sometimes a human interest story can really make you reflect on your life and your choices. I was watching the news the other night and saw a story about a 100 year old woman skydiving for her birthday. Now, I’m significantly younger than this daredevil hag and I’ve never skydived once. I don’t even have the desire to! The most aeronautically bold and madcap I’ve ever been was hot air ballooning over the Valley of the Kings… but that’s not the same adrenaline rush as sky diving. (Even though the landing was bumpy and the ground came up really quick, I didn’t feel the pressure of the air pushing my cheeks up into my ears, and I figure that’s how you know you’re really living on the edge). At first it made me sad to think there were centenarians who were living far more fully than I was. But then I realised that the old crone probably had to jump out of planes to get any thrill out of life at all anymore. What was there for her on the ground? Only arthritis, smelling like moth balls, and being patronised. But being earthbound still has joy for me. And that’s how I ended up feeling far happier and more satisfied with my life after watching a prune-skinned shrew plummeting through the sky. After all, it doesn’t make any sense for me to become an adrenaline junky until I’m so old and wizened that I absolutely HAVE TO. Leave all the dare-deviling to the elderly, I say - the young have too many other joys to live for!
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In other news, sometimes a human interest story can really make you reflect on your life and your choices. I was watching the news the other night and saw a story about a 100 year old woman skydiving for her birthday. Now, I’m significantly younger than this daredevil hag and I’ve never skydived once. I don’t even have the desire to! The most aeronautically bold and madcap I’ve ever been was hot air ballooning over the Valley of the Kings… but that’s not the same adrenaline rush as sky diving. (Even though the landing was bumpy and the ground came up really quick, I didn’t feel the pressure of the air pushing my cheeks up into my ears, and I figure that’s how you know you’re really living on the edge). At first it made me sad to think there were centenarians who were living far more fully than I was. But then I realised that the old crone probably had to jump out of planes to get any thrill out of life at all anymore. What was there for her on the ground? Only arthritis, smelling like moth balls, and being patronised. But being earthbound still has joy for me. And that’s how I ended up feeling far happier and more satisfied with my life after watching a prune-skinned shrew plummeting through the sky. After all, it doesn’t make any sense for me to become an adrenaline junky until I’m so old and wizened that I absolutely HAVE TO. Leave all the dare-deviling to the elderly, I say - the young have too many other joys to live for!
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