Hmm
So I'm sitting here drinking the last sips of my Peppermint Latte from Starbucks (yeah, I know.) Know what I just realized? I am coming up on one year of meeting a group of people who have worked their way into my life. I have come to love and adore these people very much. They have shown me so much love and happiness.
In my life, 3 people (other than my parents and blood family) have shown me love on a level that was so much I never thought I could be loved so much by one person. These three individuals I met and feel in love with in the past year. My first "love" and I have since parted ways, and are just recently talking again. I treated him like shit to be honest. He did not deserve what I did, and he showed me what love could be. I still care about him because he really showed me what love was.
The second love I experienced had its ups and downs, as all relationships do. He and I were short-lived, but we did experience love, to a point. We may have ended because he wanted to because we never could work things out, or couldn't share all of our emotions, but things ended for the better.
My latest relationship has thus far, been the best experience of my life. After my last two relationships ended, I never thought I could love again. It was so hard for me to tell him that I loved him. Now, sadly, our relationship has ended. It was the hardest thing thing for me to do to have to let him go. I still can't let him go. I mean, the love we shared was so strong. 8 months of my life was devoted to loving him, countless funds, memories, thoughts, love. Loosing him has been so hard. We are still talking, hanging out, trying to figure things out. There may be a chance in the future for us to be together again. Right now, I will admit, I want more than anything to be with him. He knows how I feel about it, and he tells me that there is still a chance we will be us again, but right now we need to be friends, because we never really were.
One year ago, it was his birthday. I had just been dumped, and had a choice to make. Stay single, or choose one of four guys to go out with. The choice I made was thought by some to be the worst decision I made in my life. Parents, friends, exes, his exes- they all warned me not to date him. I looked past all of their negativity, and went on the best ride of my life. I loved this guy beyond words. I thought things would be perfect between us. No relationship is perfect, sorry, you can't have a perfect relationship. I still love him, I always will. He means the world to me.
How do you tell someone that you love them, when they wont hear it? How can you move on when it hurts too much to let go? I know he does not want me yet, and I know he never may. It is just hard, and I don't think I can tell him any of this. He will most likely read this and know all of what I feel. I gave him a letter that flat out told him I still loved him and wanted him, but could never bring it to him. Now, I don't know. It's like, I can't let him go because the love I feel is so strong. But I don't want to turn around and beg him to let me back. We still talk and hang out. We go to movies, he comes over to my house and has dinner.
I just want the happiness I once had back. I am miserable, even if I don't show him or any one else. I don't sleep, I don't really eat. I always hurt. And I don't know if I could ever love anyone as much as I did with him. I don't know if he realizes this, or if he feels the same.
Everything hurts.
Oh well. I just wanted to let everyone know what is going on in my life lately.
I am really behind in school, and I work several days a week, including this Thanksgiving for a few hours. Anyway, have a happy Thanksgiving everyone. Enjoy your break.
In my life, 3 people (other than my parents and blood family) have shown me love on a level that was so much I never thought I could be loved so much by one person. These three individuals I met and feel in love with in the past year. My first "love" and I have since parted ways, and are just recently talking again. I treated him like shit to be honest. He did not deserve what I did, and he showed me what love could be. I still care about him because he really showed me what love was.
The second love I experienced had its ups and downs, as all relationships do. He and I were short-lived, but we did experience love, to a point. We may have ended because he wanted to because we never could work things out, or couldn't share all of our emotions, but things ended for the better.
My latest relationship has thus far, been the best experience of my life. After my last two relationships ended, I never thought I could love again. It was so hard for me to tell him that I loved him. Now, sadly, our relationship has ended. It was the hardest thing thing for me to do to have to let him go. I still can't let him go. I mean, the love we shared was so strong. 8 months of my life was devoted to loving him, countless funds, memories, thoughts, love. Loosing him has been so hard. We are still talking, hanging out, trying to figure things out. There may be a chance in the future for us to be together again. Right now, I will admit, I want more than anything to be with him. He knows how I feel about it, and he tells me that there is still a chance we will be us again, but right now we need to be friends, because we never really were.
One year ago, it was his birthday. I had just been dumped, and had a choice to make. Stay single, or choose one of four guys to go out with. The choice I made was thought by some to be the worst decision I made in my life. Parents, friends, exes, his exes- they all warned me not to date him. I looked past all of their negativity, and went on the best ride of my life. I loved this guy beyond words. I thought things would be perfect between us. No relationship is perfect, sorry, you can't have a perfect relationship. I still love him, I always will. He means the world to me.
How do you tell someone that you love them, when they wont hear it? How can you move on when it hurts too much to let go? I know he does not want me yet, and I know he never may. It is just hard, and I don't think I can tell him any of this. He will most likely read this and know all of what I feel. I gave him a letter that flat out told him I still loved him and wanted him, but could never bring it to him. Now, I don't know. It's like, I can't let him go because the love I feel is so strong. But I don't want to turn around and beg him to let me back. We still talk and hang out. We go to movies, he comes over to my house and has dinner.
I just want the happiness I once had back. I am miserable, even if I don't show him or any one else. I don't sleep, I don't really eat. I always hurt. And I don't know if I could ever love anyone as much as I did with him. I don't know if he realizes this, or if he feels the same.
Everything hurts.
Oh well. I just wanted to let everyone know what is going on in my life lately.
I am really behind in school, and I work several days a week, including this Thanksgiving for a few hours. Anyway, have a happy Thanksgiving everyone. Enjoy your break.