character list
This list is intended to keep you updated on those who play a decently sized role in the story that has just gotten underway. This list will be constantly updated due to the fact that i am so flippin sweet that new people, both good and evil, come into my life almost on a daily basis. It is also quite obvious that people change in real life from good to evil, and sometimes, rarely, evil to good. Such acts like, destroying an amazing local band, and thinking it wise to fuck with my head for the better part of a year, are not looked highly upon in this story. And as the storys creator, let it be known that there is no such thing as a quick and painless death. Only sweet, sweet, revenge death. and now for the cast of characters in my crew.
Al "Fit As Shit" Simmons - This amazing specimen is know for his amazing stealth abitilites. For example, one evening when going to the Simmons household for ample game of Capture the flag. We went to the door."Is Fit as shit here" i asked. "No i don't think so" exclaimed the birthmother."Well you are mistaken you huge bitch" Fit as shit exclaimed as he stepped out from some cactus in the hallway." needless to say i was impressed and thought to myself " man look at those abs, this guy's so ripped" He can also turn into spawn(or so he says)
Joe "The Hammer" Mallet - Donkey Kong Dick here is the only person in history to get almost kicked out of Orland pool for having to big of a penis. But, Joe is the biggest deal maker of all time. By the time he was 2 he had made 1634 deals, and tackled over 400 pirates. I thought to my self " i wish my mom had drank and smoke enormous amounts of weed when she was pregnant with me" Joe is also the only person in history to get into Mojoes..FOR FREE!!! He made such deals that the owner actually wanted joe to take over the place. Joe had to decline the request because it was too hard to squeeze his cock into mojoes as it was. The remodeling to fit his penis' needs would bankrupt him. He will most likely be used to get me into places i cant get into myself and also getting hot babes with pert racks to pork us nonstop when morale is down.
Rico "The Vig" Vigil - well rico is known to do the impossible, he can heal cancer and bring babies back to life. he will also destroy you in a matter of a few Phat Beats, or amazing Guitar Riffs. In the story rico will assist in helping us find shortcuts and probably wailing and flailing the aliens away
Billy "Reverse Backflip" Beechy - This man is tits. and as most of you know, tits are fucking awesome.Everything he does is tits, i wish i could explain it to you (and believe i'll try, but most of you wont have the brain power to retain all the amazing things this guy will do, and your brain will explode,naturally). Also he can drive in reverse like nobodies business.Will assist in driving, and getting me steady work.
Katie "Don't Look at me or my brother will punch you in the eye" Beechy - Katie is a walking distraction to the group. Sooner or later (probably sooner) it will become a problem, i problem in need of a solution. She is pretty useless, so i dont know what she will do for the group.
Timothy "Dropkick Me in the Face" Coules - Probably the one person who can communicate with the aliens. Seeing as how he can easily pass for one.
Mark "sub-woofer" Wator - we use him and his Pontiac Grand Prix for a mobile torture unit. He will painfully blind you with his neons, and make your ears bleed with not only the music he plays in his "ride", but for how long he talks about his car.
The Untouchable Alec - with his powerful hood, and sparkling smile, Alec is a hit with the ladies. Also when his hood is up WATCH THE FUCK OUT, you will be destroyed.
The Homer Girls - These girls are similar to the sirens in the Odyssey. At one time or another they seemed to have someone from my crew(except me, just kidding brea) wrapped around their fingers. You've all heard of love triagles, because of these girls there is now some sort of crazy love dodecahedron. I'm sorry but this can only end badly...
Josh "Tosh Jubbs, I can't believe its not..."Tubbs - The enforcer of the group. Still known to laugh merely at slightest mention of the word "Poop". Also known as the badass with the heart of gold. Tubbs will help in any way possible in the retrieval of my dad's lawnmower.
The Inas..... - he he he, this is going to be really really fun (your doomed)
Ron "Headstone" Clark - whatever
how could i forget
Kristie "Insert Finger Here" Kahr - With amazing insomniac powers, she will be a key for look out while everyone else is snoozing or porking. She can never fall asleep if not at her own house. And with a butt like that, i see a possible love interest for Wheels.
Last and certainly not least....
Jake "wheels of Steel" Younker - if billy is tits, well then, im tits AND ass. Doesn't get much better then that,except for maybe boobies.
more updates coming soon
Al "Fit As Shit" Simmons - This amazing specimen is know for his amazing stealth abitilites. For example, one evening when going to the Simmons household for ample game of Capture the flag. We went to the door."Is Fit as shit here" i asked. "No i don't think so" exclaimed the birthmother."Well you are mistaken you huge bitch" Fit as shit exclaimed as he stepped out from some cactus in the hallway." needless to say i was impressed and thought to myself " man look at those abs, this guy's so ripped" He can also turn into spawn(or so he says)
Joe "The Hammer" Mallet - Donkey Kong Dick here is the only person in history to get almost kicked out of Orland pool for having to big of a penis. But, Joe is the biggest deal maker of all time. By the time he was 2 he had made 1634 deals, and tackled over 400 pirates. I thought to my self " i wish my mom had drank and smoke enormous amounts of weed when she was pregnant with me" Joe is also the only person in history to get into Mojoes..FOR FREE!!! He made such deals that the owner actually wanted joe to take over the place. Joe had to decline the request because it was too hard to squeeze his cock into mojoes as it was. The remodeling to fit his penis' needs would bankrupt him. He will most likely be used to get me into places i cant get into myself and also getting hot babes with pert racks to pork us nonstop when morale is down.
Rico "The Vig" Vigil - well rico is known to do the impossible, he can heal cancer and bring babies back to life. he will also destroy you in a matter of a few Phat Beats, or amazing Guitar Riffs. In the story rico will assist in helping us find shortcuts and probably wailing and flailing the aliens away
Billy "Reverse Backflip" Beechy - This man is tits. and as most of you know, tits are fucking awesome.Everything he does is tits, i wish i could explain it to you (and believe i'll try, but most of you wont have the brain power to retain all the amazing things this guy will do, and your brain will explode,naturally). Also he can drive in reverse like nobodies business.Will assist in driving, and getting me steady work.
Katie "Don't Look at me or my brother will punch you in the eye" Beechy - Katie is a walking distraction to the group. Sooner or later (probably sooner) it will become a problem, i problem in need of a solution. She is pretty useless, so i dont know what she will do for the group.
Timothy "Dropkick Me in the Face" Coules - Probably the one person who can communicate with the aliens. Seeing as how he can easily pass for one.
Mark "sub-woofer" Wator - we use him and his Pontiac Grand Prix for a mobile torture unit. He will painfully blind you with his neons, and make your ears bleed with not only the music he plays in his "ride", but for how long he talks about his car.
The Untouchable Alec - with his powerful hood, and sparkling smile, Alec is a hit with the ladies. Also when his hood is up WATCH THE FUCK OUT, you will be destroyed.
The Homer Girls - These girls are similar to the sirens in the Odyssey. At one time or another they seemed to have someone from my crew(except me, just kidding brea) wrapped around their fingers. You've all heard of love triagles, because of these girls there is now some sort of crazy love dodecahedron. I'm sorry but this can only end badly...
Josh "Tosh Jubbs, I can't believe its not..."Tubbs - The enforcer of the group. Still known to laugh merely at slightest mention of the word "Poop". Also known as the badass with the heart of gold. Tubbs will help in any way possible in the retrieval of my dad's lawnmower.
The Inas..... - he he he, this is going to be really really fun (your doomed)
Ron "Headstone" Clark - whatever
how could i forget
Kristie "Insert Finger Here" Kahr - With amazing insomniac powers, she will be a key for look out while everyone else is snoozing or porking. She can never fall asleep if not at her own house. And with a butt like that, i see a possible love interest for Wheels.
Last and certainly not least....
Jake "wheels of Steel" Younker - if billy is tits, well then, im tits AND ass. Doesn't get much better then that,except for maybe boobies.
more updates coming soon