(no subject)
I keep setting myself up for failure. Its like I'm subconciously sabotaging myself in this fabulous thing we call life. I know I deserve better in everyway. I deserve better friends, relationships, but most importantly I deserve a better life. I'm tired of running in these same circles. I feel like I'm getting no where real quick. A very wise woman once told me that life is a two way road. One way is a dead end and the other is the road to success. I'm traveling in the wrong direction. I'm a strong believer in you get what you put out. I guess for a real long time now I've been puttting out the wrong side of myself. I've been making terrible decisions and who do I have to blame it on? My dad, because he wasn't around and a terrible male rolemodel? Andrew, because he refuses to help me with our daughter? The truth is, the only real person I can pin all of my problems on is me. I've been fucked up for so long and yes, all these obstacles didn't help. But I have to realize that life is full of obstacles. After each one you overcome your just a little bit stronger. I need to quit making excuses. Its time for what I deserve....higher self esteem. I need to stop running. Theres no way I'm going to escape these demons. I need to confront them.