It gets Worse [1/1]
Title: It gets Worse
Author: neverxnever
Rating: light Pg-13?
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon, Ryan/Keltie
POV: Third
Summary: Ryan laughs and brushes Brendon’s lengthening hair out of his eyes. “Do that again, maybe?” Ryan asks sheepishly, and the last thing on Brendon’s mind is Keltie, so he does. He kisses Ryan again, like he’s trying to get a point across. I should be with you.
Disclaimer: I do not own/know anyone mentioned in this piece of FICTION.
Author Notes: Something I wrote several months back that I recently found on my computer. Not the best thing I’ve ever written, but I kind of like it. Feedback is appreciated :]
You know that feeling you get when you can’t remember which day a certain set of events took place? Or if those events were anything more than a dream? You feel flustered and confused until someone helps clear it up for you, reminds you that it happened yesterday morning, three days ago, two weeks ago. Or something similar.
That’s kind of how Brendon feels when he tries to remember the exact moment he fell in love with Ryan. And the exact moment Ryan fell in love with Keltie. And the exact moment Keltie fell in love with Ryan, too. It’s all one giant blur of when?
Except there isn’t anyone there to clear it up. There isn’t anyone there to tell Brendon how or when or why it happened. But in the end, it doesn’t really matter, does it?
-
Brendon and Ryan have always been close. Close enough that Brendon can curl into Ryan’s side and nuzzle his nose into Ryan’s neck and no one questions it. Especially not Ryan, who only throws his arm around Brendon’s shoulders and smiles.
It makes Keltie want to scream profanities. And that’s saying something. Because Keltie likes Brendon. He’s nice and charming and fun to be around. There isn’t anything that rubs her the wrong way about his personality.
Except, she knows. It’s her job to know. She loves Ryan.
She knows when Brendon takes that giant leap across the bottomless pit and kisses Ryan, too. She can see it the next day in Ryan’s eyes, sparkling and sharp like she’s never seen them be before.
Which is precisely why she grabs him and kisses him as hard as she can for as long as she can, trying to smother the spark out of his eyes.
All she succeeds in doing is tasting Brendon on her lovers lips.
-
Ryan gasps when Brendon’s suddenly in his face, suddenly kissing him, but he’s kissing back soon enough, and Brendon pulls away to grin, showing teeth.
Ryan laughs and brushes Brendon’s lengthening hair out of his eyes. “Do that again, maybe?” Ryan asks sheepishly, and the last thing on Brendon’s mind is Keltie, so he does. He kisses Ryan again, like he’s trying to get a point across. I should be with you.
But when Brendon sees Keltie next, and all she does is smile warmly at him, he stops breathing. The guilt is so overwhelming he thinks it could crush him.
It doesn’t. So he kisses Ryan again, all over.
-
Keltie’s eyes are closed, her brain almost there, when the words are whispered in her ear. I’m sorry.
And that’s how she knows.
Ryan’s arms around her suddenly feel heavy and it’s hard to breath. It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t so easy to picture. Brendon and Ryan, a tangle of limbs and feelings, sweaty and moaning.
She swallows down any emotion that tries to bubble to the surface and hugs Brendon the next time she sees him. He’s mine as long as I say he’s mine, her hug is trying to convey.
Brendon hugs her back, but it isn’t lost on her that he’s shaking.
-
Ryan leans in to kiss him, and Brendon stops him. Places his hands on Ryan’s chest and pushes gently. Enough to get his point across. Ryan eyes go wide, surprised.
“I can’t,” Brendon explains, thinking of the way that Keltie smiles when Ryan does nice things for her. Thinking of the way that he himself feels when Ryan touches him. “Keltie. She loves you.”
Ryan shakes his head and opens his mouth to say anything, but the words won’t come to the forefront of his mind. He can’t figure out what Brendon wants him to say to that.
Brendon sighs. “Don’t you care that you’re hurting her?”
“Of course I care,” Ryan says. And he does. He loves Keltie. But he loves Brendon, too, and there just isn’t any way for him to choose. There isn’t any way for him to be fair to them. “But am I hurting you , Brendon?”
Brendon thinks. He opens his mouth, closes it again. He presses his lips together in a hard line and shakes his head.
“Then you shouldn’t worry about her.”
Brendon doesn’t push Ryan away again.
-
Ryan is humming under his breath as they watch the movie. Keltie doesn’t know the name of it. Something black and white and funny in an innocent way that isn’t funny anymore. Keltie hates these kinds of movies, but Ryan loves them.
She’s been going out of her way to make him happy, lately. He doesn’t seem to have noticed. He stays gone from the house longer, now. Finds any excuse he can to go see Brendon. She can feel herself losing him, slowly but surely.
I love you, she thinks as she stretches her neck up to kiss his jaw. He smiles down at her. A tiny, caring smile that she used to think meant I love you too.
-
Brendon avoids Keltie as much as possible, but the guilt is still there. Tugging at him, weighing him down. He was raised better than this. What would his parents say if they knew?
They’d tell him what he already knows. He’s filthy and disgusting and he’s going to hell. They’d tell him he should stop this nonsense and do something selfless for once. He should let Keltie be happy.
He finds it so, so hard to think about hell and his parents and selflessness when he’s with Ryan though. As soon as Ryan is touching him, kissing him, whispering sugary sweet words in his ear, everything else disappears from his brain and he’s only able to focus on the now.
But when he eventually has to see Keltie again, and her features are arranged into something that resembles hopelessness, he knows what he has to do. And he’s determined to do it.
-
Ryan’s lips are on his before he even has time to say hello. This is a sure sign that they are alone in the house. Not that Brendon expected differently. Keltie has been finding ways to give them more and more space, leaving and staying gone longer.
Brendon pushes feebly against Ryan, bats at his wandering hands until Ryan gets the message and pulls back, looking a little annoyed. “What?“
Brendon only shakes his head, but Ryan gets it. Just like that, he knows Brendon’s intentions.
“You’re ending it,” he says simply, stating a fact rather than asking a question.
Brendon nods, and that’s that.
-
“I choose you,” Ryan mumbles into Keltie’s hair. She’s curled into his side, and this is so familiar and warm but not at all what he wants. “Brendon and I… I told him it wouldn’t work.”
Keltie looks up at his face, eyes light as she studies him, reads him like the open book he is. She knows he’s lying about something.
She smiles anyway, bright and happy, looks away from his face and back at the flickering TV screen. “That’s good,” is all she says, because there’s nothing else that comes to mind.
Author: neverxnever
Rating: light Pg-13?
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon, Ryan/Keltie
POV: Third
Summary: Ryan laughs and brushes Brendon’s lengthening hair out of his eyes. “Do that again, maybe?” Ryan asks sheepishly, and the last thing on Brendon’s mind is Keltie, so he does. He kisses Ryan again, like he’s trying to get a point across. I should be with you.
Disclaimer: I do not own/know anyone mentioned in this piece of FICTION.
Author Notes: Something I wrote several months back that I recently found on my computer. Not the best thing I’ve ever written, but I kind of like it. Feedback is appreciated :]
You know that feeling you get when you can’t remember which day a certain set of events took place? Or if those events were anything more than a dream? You feel flustered and confused until someone helps clear it up for you, reminds you that it happened yesterday morning, three days ago, two weeks ago. Or something similar.
That’s kind of how Brendon feels when he tries to remember the exact moment he fell in love with Ryan. And the exact moment Ryan fell in love with Keltie. And the exact moment Keltie fell in love with Ryan, too. It’s all one giant blur of when?
Except there isn’t anyone there to clear it up. There isn’t anyone there to tell Brendon how or when or why it happened. But in the end, it doesn’t really matter, does it?
-
Brendon and Ryan have always been close. Close enough that Brendon can curl into Ryan’s side and nuzzle his nose into Ryan’s neck and no one questions it. Especially not Ryan, who only throws his arm around Brendon’s shoulders and smiles.
It makes Keltie want to scream profanities. And that’s saying something. Because Keltie likes Brendon. He’s nice and charming and fun to be around. There isn’t anything that rubs her the wrong way about his personality.
Except, she knows. It’s her job to know. She loves Ryan.
She knows when Brendon takes that giant leap across the bottomless pit and kisses Ryan, too. She can see it the next day in Ryan’s eyes, sparkling and sharp like she’s never seen them be before.
Which is precisely why she grabs him and kisses him as hard as she can for as long as she can, trying to smother the spark out of his eyes.
All she succeeds in doing is tasting Brendon on her lovers lips.
-
Ryan gasps when Brendon’s suddenly in his face, suddenly kissing him, but he’s kissing back soon enough, and Brendon pulls away to grin, showing teeth.
Ryan laughs and brushes Brendon’s lengthening hair out of his eyes. “Do that again, maybe?” Ryan asks sheepishly, and the last thing on Brendon’s mind is Keltie, so he does. He kisses Ryan again, like he’s trying to get a point across. I should be with you.
But when Brendon sees Keltie next, and all she does is smile warmly at him, he stops breathing. The guilt is so overwhelming he thinks it could crush him.
It doesn’t. So he kisses Ryan again, all over.
-
Keltie’s eyes are closed, her brain almost there, when the words are whispered in her ear. I’m sorry.
And that’s how she knows.
Ryan’s arms around her suddenly feel heavy and it’s hard to breath. It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t so easy to picture. Brendon and Ryan, a tangle of limbs and feelings, sweaty and moaning.
She swallows down any emotion that tries to bubble to the surface and hugs Brendon the next time she sees him. He’s mine as long as I say he’s mine, her hug is trying to convey.
Brendon hugs her back, but it isn’t lost on her that he’s shaking.
-
Ryan leans in to kiss him, and Brendon stops him. Places his hands on Ryan’s chest and pushes gently. Enough to get his point across. Ryan eyes go wide, surprised.
“I can’t,” Brendon explains, thinking of the way that Keltie smiles when Ryan does nice things for her. Thinking of the way that he himself feels when Ryan touches him. “Keltie. She loves you.”
Ryan shakes his head and opens his mouth to say anything, but the words won’t come to the forefront of his mind. He can’t figure out what Brendon wants him to say to that.
Brendon sighs. “Don’t you care that you’re hurting her?”
“Of course I care,” Ryan says. And he does. He loves Keltie. But he loves Brendon, too, and there just isn’t any way for him to choose. There isn’t any way for him to be fair to them. “But am I hurting you , Brendon?”
Brendon thinks. He opens his mouth, closes it again. He presses his lips together in a hard line and shakes his head.
“Then you shouldn’t worry about her.”
Brendon doesn’t push Ryan away again.
-
Ryan is humming under his breath as they watch the movie. Keltie doesn’t know the name of it. Something black and white and funny in an innocent way that isn’t funny anymore. Keltie hates these kinds of movies, but Ryan loves them.
She’s been going out of her way to make him happy, lately. He doesn’t seem to have noticed. He stays gone from the house longer, now. Finds any excuse he can to go see Brendon. She can feel herself losing him, slowly but surely.
I love you, she thinks as she stretches her neck up to kiss his jaw. He smiles down at her. A tiny, caring smile that she used to think meant I love you too.
-
Brendon avoids Keltie as much as possible, but the guilt is still there. Tugging at him, weighing him down. He was raised better than this. What would his parents say if they knew?
They’d tell him what he already knows. He’s filthy and disgusting and he’s going to hell. They’d tell him he should stop this nonsense and do something selfless for once. He should let Keltie be happy.
He finds it so, so hard to think about hell and his parents and selflessness when he’s with Ryan though. As soon as Ryan is touching him, kissing him, whispering sugary sweet words in his ear, everything else disappears from his brain and he’s only able to focus on the now.
But when he eventually has to see Keltie again, and her features are arranged into something that resembles hopelessness, he knows what he has to do. And he’s determined to do it.
-
Ryan’s lips are on his before he even has time to say hello. This is a sure sign that they are alone in the house. Not that Brendon expected differently. Keltie has been finding ways to give them more and more space, leaving and staying gone longer.
Brendon pushes feebly against Ryan, bats at his wandering hands until Ryan gets the message and pulls back, looking a little annoyed. “What?“
Brendon only shakes his head, but Ryan gets it. Just like that, he knows Brendon’s intentions.
“You’re ending it,” he says simply, stating a fact rather than asking a question.
Brendon nods, and that’s that.
-
“I choose you,” Ryan mumbles into Keltie’s hair. She’s curled into his side, and this is so familiar and warm but not at all what he wants. “Brendon and I… I told him it wouldn’t work.”
Keltie looks up at his face, eyes light as she studies him, reads him like the open book he is. She knows he’s lying about something.
She smiles anyway, bright and happy, looks away from his face and back at the flickering TV screen. “That’s good,” is all she says, because there’s nothing else that comes to mind.