'Cause I've been walking past midnight, and I've been talking to the moon about you
It's been an emotional week. No I've been an emotional wreck this week.
I feel like an idiot. My friend, no my best friend in the world which I have known for over 10 years (and yes we are online friends and no we haven't met.. yet) went on holiday with some guys from his work. I didn't think anything of it. I was happy that he was getting a holiday.
Then this week it kinda slapped me across the face.
Call it paranoia. Yes definitely call it paranoia, because even though the sane part of me is telling me to shut the fuck up and get a grip. The insane part of me is just screaming louder and louder.
I am worried that he will abandon me.
Now hear me out! He is off with people who will most likely be good friends with him for the foreseeable future. People he can hang out with and go places with, whilst me, literally fucking text on a screen cannot compete!
And you know what?! I wouldn't blame him. I am a piece of shit anyways! It would do him good to just break me off!
What am I even saying?! I am mourning the loss of a friend which hasn't happened.. yet! This is insane!
He makes the effort to text me on discord during his holiday, so I am being ridiculous! SURELY!
I want to confess these thoughts to him but I don't know if this would push him away. I don't want to be clingy (I've done that before in high school and that ended very VERY badly) but I don't want to be aloof, as if I don't care.
Because I care, I care so much about him.
I just want him to be happy but I don't want to lose him either.
At the very least this helps me to get my thoughts out, and may even calm the raging craziness inside.
neverwinter
I feel like an idiot. My friend, no my best friend in the world which I have known for over 10 years (and yes we are online friends and no we haven't met.. yet) went on holiday with some guys from his work. I didn't think anything of it. I was happy that he was getting a holiday.
Then this week it kinda slapped me across the face.
Call it paranoia. Yes definitely call it paranoia, because even though the sane part of me is telling me to shut the fuck up and get a grip. The insane part of me is just screaming louder and louder.
I am worried that he will abandon me.
Now hear me out! He is off with people who will most likely be good friends with him for the foreseeable future. People he can hang out with and go places with, whilst me, literally fucking text on a screen cannot compete!
And you know what?! I wouldn't blame him. I am a piece of shit anyways! It would do him good to just break me off!
What am I even saying?! I am mourning the loss of a friend which hasn't happened.. yet! This is insane!
He makes the effort to text me on discord during his holiday, so I am being ridiculous! SURELY!
I want to confess these thoughts to him but I don't know if this would push him away. I don't want to be clingy (I've done that before in high school and that ended very VERY badly) but I don't want to be aloof, as if I don't care.
Because I care, I care so much about him.
I just want him to be happy but I don't want to lose him either.
At the very least this helps me to get my thoughts out, and may even calm the raging craziness inside.
neverwinter