Here it comes, a cure for the night
Work has been quite boring to me of late.
In fact I am getting rather tired of that place. I feel it's just so unfair that the new people get some of the best shifts, especially this new guy. Honestly I actually thought he was alright but now I really can't stand him. He tries to be funny but most of the time he comes off as annoying.
I think the reason I am unhappy there lately is because I do not find my work challenging enough. I'm just going through the motions. I don't feel appreciated, Christ that sounds entitled... I'm not trying to be. I am the first person to shy away from attention. After almost six years working there I feel so demotivated.
For the past year I have had no energy for anything. I don't look after myself because I hate who I am? When I was younger I wanted to punish myself by staying awake since in my mind I didn't deserve sleep. I know it sounds bizarre and fucked up but at the time I really wanted to hurt myself in that way.
I can't form proper relationships as I'm afraid and so socially inept. I can't look people in their eyes. Crowds stresses me out and makes me anxious to the extend that I would argue with family members because I need to escape.
I am a mess!
I did have counselling in my late 20's. I attended but I felt it was a waste of time. I couldn't be 100% honest with my therapist.
I guess to cope I throw myself into gaming to escape having to come face to face with the truth.
It's easy to bury your head in the sand.
neverwinter
In fact I am getting rather tired of that place. I feel it's just so unfair that the new people get some of the best shifts, especially this new guy. Honestly I actually thought he was alright but now I really can't stand him. He tries to be funny but most of the time he comes off as annoying.
I think the reason I am unhappy there lately is because I do not find my work challenging enough. I'm just going through the motions. I don't feel appreciated, Christ that sounds entitled... I'm not trying to be. I am the first person to shy away from attention. After almost six years working there I feel so demotivated.
For the past year I have had no energy for anything. I don't look after myself because I hate who I am? When I was younger I wanted to punish myself by staying awake since in my mind I didn't deserve sleep. I know it sounds bizarre and fucked up but at the time I really wanted to hurt myself in that way.
I can't form proper relationships as I'm afraid and so socially inept. I can't look people in their eyes. Crowds stresses me out and makes me anxious to the extend that I would argue with family members because I need to escape.
I am a mess!
I did have counselling in my late 20's. I attended but I felt it was a waste of time. I couldn't be 100% honest with my therapist.
I guess to cope I throw myself into gaming to escape having to come face to face with the truth.
It's easy to bury your head in the sand.
neverwinter