✾ 『 seventh hit 』 | ip/communicator id blocked
[ private to self | not hackable ]
I hate this place.
I'm always in control. No matter what, I have to be in control. If someone socked me in the face, I'd have something to blame. I'd say I wasn't paying enough attention, or I had slow reaction time. And I'd know the only way to fix it is to train for next time.
But I can't do that this time. Can I?
Something takes hostage of your brain, all you can do is fight it. It claws and fucks around with your mind and you claw and fight against it and fail. What if there's a next time?
It wasn't me, but it's still my fault. Not my decision, not my actions, but my body. Shooting that girl was my fault because I was too weak to fight it. I tried. I tried the whole time. I even made him almost drop it.
Why am I here? What am I supposed to do? I'm not going anywhere here, I'm stuck.
[ private ]
The main reason we succumbed to those things was because we weren't strong enough. Say there's a next time- How would we fight them off? Train ourselves to be smarter so they can't take over? How do you stop mind-control?
Also, I never cry.
private to dr. cameron | not hackable
You up for that coffee?
[/private]