Today I organized
So I made seperate sub-folders and what not in my JE fic folder because it was getting out of hand.
And I found this. From many, many years ago.
GOD SO OLD.
Jin is warm and happy and in bed when he suddenly hears sounds coming from outside his room; he blinks groggily and wonders if the dog is running into the walls again.
He wonders why it does that so much-Ryo-chan said something cryptic about pets taking after their owners when Jin had asked if that sort of behavior was normal in small dogs, but Jin hadn’t really understood what Ryo-chan had meant when he’d said that.
“Mmmph,” he grunts to himself, and flops onto his stomach as the strange noises continue. He covers his head with his pillow and tries to go back to sleep; he has work early in the morning!
The thumping only gets louder though, and after another five minutes or so he sighs and gets out of bed. He brings one of his extra pillows with him so he can prop it up against the wall for the dog to run into instead. It will be less painful that way; isn’t that nice?
When Jin reaches the living room he finds out that it isn’t the dog that is running into the wall; rather, he sees a few strange men crawling through the floors of his house.
He nearly screams when he sees them, but before he can he is grabbed from behind and a cloth is shoved over his face. It smells funny.
His last thought as he falls unconscious is that despite the intrusions, at least he’s getting back to sleep really easily.
~~~~~
When Jin wakes up his head hurts and he is kind of sore; he instinctively assumes that all signs point to having had a really good night last night.
He grins despite the pain and stretches luxuriously before rolling onto his side. When he peels his eyes open he expects to see a really hot girl or two and various foodstuffs littered about the bed.
But he only sees Junno.
Junno, who is sleeping next to him ON THE SAME BED, drooling happily into his pillow.
Jin’s initial reaction-naturally- is to scream.
Loudly.
The minute he screams there is the sound of several other screams in reaction to his initial scream; when he sits up and looks around he realizes that everyone else is here as well.
Nakamaru and Koki are both draped lengthwise over an adjacent bed.
Kame is flopped over a couch and blinking to himself in bewilderment.
“Oh my god, did we have an orgy?!” Jin frets.
Nakamaru stops screaming when he hears that. “What? We had an orgy?” Pause. “Only if you raped me.” He shoves Koki.
“Oh god we had rape-orgy?!” Jin shrieks.
“SHUT UP,” an irritated voice tells them all. They all turn to the corner then, where they find Ueda sitting with bed-head and a grumpy look on his face. “Something clearly happened last night.”
“I got jumped by some guys,” Koki offers, helpfully. “Were those guys you guys?”
“No,” everyone says.
Junno laughs. “Maybe it’s a prank for the Ya-Ya-Yah show!”
“We’re not on that show, moron.”
Junno’s smile never falters. “But it could be, right?”
Koki is too tired to get up and smack him.
Kame in the meantime, looks worried. “Maybe crazy fans kidnapped us,” he murmurs, and pulls his knees up to his chest.
Jin thinks it is more likely that they had a drunken rape orgy.
“Well we can’t jump to any conclusions yet,” Ueda begins, sensibly. “First we have to find out where we are.”
Everyone looks around.
Koki raises his hand. “We’re in a cabin.”
Ueda ignores him and goes to look out the window in the hopes of seeing some telling landmarks or street signs or something.
But just as he gets to the window, the door is kicked in.
Everyone screams again.
“Good morning, campers!” a voice chirrups, and all members of KAT-TUN blink when a dramatically back-lit figure steps into their room.
“Campers?” they ask. Koki shoves Nakamaru in front of him in case Kame was right and they really had been kidnapped by crazy fans with role play fetishes.
But then the figure steps out of the light and they can finally see his face-
“Yamapi?!” they exclaim.
Yamapi grins and gives them a thumbs up by way of greeting. He is wearing cargo shorts and a safari jersey with a cute red bandana tied around his neck. It seems oddly festive. “It’s breakfast time!” he informs them. “Wah, still in your pajamas? You’re all late, ne! Let’s go! Hurry, hurry!”
He pumps his fist in the air and then turns around and runs out of the room. “Majide,” the confused KAT-TUN members hear him exclaim as he races off, “I really want to eat Belgian waffles with blueberry syrup!”
Everyone looks at each other.
Jin of course, is the first one to pose a theory.
“We had a cosplay rape orgy with Yamapi?”
Koki throws a pillow at him.
~~~~~
“Welcome to Johnny’s Teamwork Camp 2007!” a cheerful voice shouts over the loudspeaker as the KAT-TUN members warily exit their cabin (once Ueda and Kame have done their hair and Koki and Maru have stopped fighting over who gets to pee first).
“Teamwork camp?” Jin echoes, and wrinkles his nose. “I didn’t hear about this.”
He says it as if he expects management to inform him of the decisions it makes beforehand. Maru thinks it’s cute.
Koki just looks wary. “Is this one of those places where we have to fall down and everyone else catches us?” he asks.
“I’m dropping you because it would be funny,” Maru tells him, with no pretense whatsoever.
“Sounds fun!” Junno chirps. He’s ignored.
Kame sighs and looks around. “I guess it’s work related then,” he says, and seems resigned. “Let’s just get it over with.”
~~~~~
“You’ve been selected by the management as this year’s group that needs the most teamwork training!” they’re told after breakfast by the camp’s head counselor, Makino-kun.
“Um…okay,” Kame begins, carefully. “But if that’s the case… why is everyone else here too?”
“We think it’s fun!” Koyama exclaims by way of explanation, and everyone in NewS hugs. “Yay!”
“Yay!” the other NewS members agree, except for Ryo, who is asleep on Yamapi’s shoulder.
“Kanjani 8 often comes for the food, and Arashi members have the tradition of trying to have all five members sleep in one twin-sized bed for the entire week. NewS are the graduates of camp from 2004 and 2005,” Makino-kun exclaims proudly. “See how happy they all are now?”
“Yay!” NewS cheers.
Nakamaru raises his hand. “Right. Question.”
“Yes, Nakamaru-kun?”
“What kind of prescriptions did you give them for that? Because I’m allergic to some medication, and I just want to be prepared.”
Silence.
The counselor clears his throat. “Well in any case, we’re very happy to have them back again this year. It will be good for all of you to have role models to follow while we reorder your group dynamics while you’re here,” Makino-kun tells them. “The company wants you to fix whatever is not working so that you become either like Arashi, NewS, or K8. The fans like that sort of thing best, you know.”
Nakamaru raises his hand again; this time he is ignored.
“Anyway, shall we begin? Let’s start with group discussion, okay?”
“Yay!” NewS says. Again.
And Ueda thinks he now realizes why some members of that group were driven to drink post-2004.
~~~~~
“Um, I’m not doing that,” Koki says, once they are all ready and seated in a circle for group discussion.
Tegoshi blinks up guilelessly at him from Ryo’s lap. “Doing what, Koki-kun?”
Makino-kun smiles at Koki patiently. “That’s not actually part of the exercise. Tegoshi-kun is just friendly.”
“Oh,” Koki says. Then, to the rest of NewS, “How the hell does that look normal to you all?”
“It’s member-ai!” Koyama insists. “You should try it.”
Koki tries to imagine Junno in his lap. “Pass,” he says, instantly.
“Pass,” the rest of his group agrees.
Tegoshi just laughs from Ryo’s lap. “Ah, is this making you uncomfortable? Should I get off?”
Ryo ignores KAT-TUN’s discomfort because he doesn’t care. Instead he wraps an arm around Tegoshi. “Stop wiggling, Tego-nyan,” he says, bluntly. “You’ll fall off.”
Tegoshi sparkles back at him. “Haaaai! But you’ll catch me if I do, ne, Ryo-tan?”
Ryo ruffles his hair. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Yay!”
There is a strange fuzzy glow in the air around Tegoshi and Ryo; Maru never thought that he would ever see an actual physical rip in the fabric of the universe until today.
KAT-TUN looks at each other.
And they all raise their hands-as one.
“We’re not doing that,” they say.
~~~~~
“So what do you guys do whenever there is a fight?” Makino-kun asks KAT-TUN patiently, once everyone is seated.
“No hitting below the belt; avoid face shots if there’s a shoot that week,” Koki reports, faithfully. The honor code of men and stuff like that.
Silence.
Makino-kun frowns and makes a note. “I see. Does anyone else here have any suggestions for how KAT-TUN members could change this very disturbing method of conflict resolution?”
Ohno from Arashi raises his hand.
“Yes, Ohno-kun?”
Ohno blinks a few times and puts his hand down. “What?”
“Leader,” Sho begins, patiently, “You raised your hand.”
“Oh.”
Makino-kun speaks slower. “What does Arashi do whenever there is a fight?” he asks.
Ohno blinks a few more times. “Well…” pause. “Fight?”
MatsuJun leans over and whispers into his leader’s ear. After a moment, his eyes light up with recognition. “Right!” He turns back to Makino-kun. “Orgy,” he reports.
KAT-TUN stares.
They all raise their hands. “Pass,” they say.
~~~~~
“How about you, Eito?” Makino-kun asks, after KAT-TUN passes on the whole orgy thing.
Yokoyama blinks sleepily. “Orgy,” he says.
He gets smacked.
He frowns. “That’s not right?”
“You’re just copying what Ohno-kun said, aren’t you?” Murakami rails.
“Ah, but I wasn’t even listening!” Yokoyama complains, and rubs his head. He gets smacked again just because.
“Are they fighting?” Tegoshi whispers, to Ryo.
Ryo snorts.
They look like they’re fighting, but before things can get heated; everyone notices that Maruyama is asleep.
So instead of argue, they opt to stop so they can draw things on his face together.
Nakamaru raises his hand. “How is that member-ai?” he asks.
Subaru grins. “We drew some hearts.”
Yokoyama nods and points a few of them out. “They’re next to the penises.”
“Pass,” KAT-TUN says.
And then I think there was supposed to be something about how KT's selling point would be for them to punch each other but I don't remember. This is way old.
The end.
And I found this. From many, many years ago.
GOD SO OLD.
Jin is warm and happy and in bed when he suddenly hears sounds coming from outside his room; he blinks groggily and wonders if the dog is running into the walls again.
He wonders why it does that so much-Ryo-chan said something cryptic about pets taking after their owners when Jin had asked if that sort of behavior was normal in small dogs, but Jin hadn’t really understood what Ryo-chan had meant when he’d said that.
“Mmmph,” he grunts to himself, and flops onto his stomach as the strange noises continue. He covers his head with his pillow and tries to go back to sleep; he has work early in the morning!
The thumping only gets louder though, and after another five minutes or so he sighs and gets out of bed. He brings one of his extra pillows with him so he can prop it up against the wall for the dog to run into instead. It will be less painful that way; isn’t that nice?
When Jin reaches the living room he finds out that it isn’t the dog that is running into the wall; rather, he sees a few strange men crawling through the floors of his house.
He nearly screams when he sees them, but before he can he is grabbed from behind and a cloth is shoved over his face. It smells funny.
His last thought as he falls unconscious is that despite the intrusions, at least he’s getting back to sleep really easily.
~~~~~
When Jin wakes up his head hurts and he is kind of sore; he instinctively assumes that all signs point to having had a really good night last night.
He grins despite the pain and stretches luxuriously before rolling onto his side. When he peels his eyes open he expects to see a really hot girl or two and various foodstuffs littered about the bed.
But he only sees Junno.
Junno, who is sleeping next to him ON THE SAME BED, drooling happily into his pillow.
Jin’s initial reaction-naturally- is to scream.
Loudly.
The minute he screams there is the sound of several other screams in reaction to his initial scream; when he sits up and looks around he realizes that everyone else is here as well.
Nakamaru and Koki are both draped lengthwise over an adjacent bed.
Kame is flopped over a couch and blinking to himself in bewilderment.
“Oh my god, did we have an orgy?!” Jin frets.
Nakamaru stops screaming when he hears that. “What? We had an orgy?” Pause. “Only if you raped me.” He shoves Koki.
“Oh god we had rape-orgy?!” Jin shrieks.
“SHUT UP,” an irritated voice tells them all. They all turn to the corner then, where they find Ueda sitting with bed-head and a grumpy look on his face. “Something clearly happened last night.”
“I got jumped by some guys,” Koki offers, helpfully. “Were those guys you guys?”
“No,” everyone says.
Junno laughs. “Maybe it’s a prank for the Ya-Ya-Yah show!”
“We’re not on that show, moron.”
Junno’s smile never falters. “But it could be, right?”
Koki is too tired to get up and smack him.
Kame in the meantime, looks worried. “Maybe crazy fans kidnapped us,” he murmurs, and pulls his knees up to his chest.
Jin thinks it is more likely that they had a drunken rape orgy.
“Well we can’t jump to any conclusions yet,” Ueda begins, sensibly. “First we have to find out where we are.”
Everyone looks around.
Koki raises his hand. “We’re in a cabin.”
Ueda ignores him and goes to look out the window in the hopes of seeing some telling landmarks or street signs or something.
But just as he gets to the window, the door is kicked in.
Everyone screams again.
“Good morning, campers!” a voice chirrups, and all members of KAT-TUN blink when a dramatically back-lit figure steps into their room.
“Campers?” they ask. Koki shoves Nakamaru in front of him in case Kame was right and they really had been kidnapped by crazy fans with role play fetishes.
But then the figure steps out of the light and they can finally see his face-
“Yamapi?!” they exclaim.
Yamapi grins and gives them a thumbs up by way of greeting. He is wearing cargo shorts and a safari jersey with a cute red bandana tied around his neck. It seems oddly festive. “It’s breakfast time!” he informs them. “Wah, still in your pajamas? You’re all late, ne! Let’s go! Hurry, hurry!”
He pumps his fist in the air and then turns around and runs out of the room. “Majide,” the confused KAT-TUN members hear him exclaim as he races off, “I really want to eat Belgian waffles with blueberry syrup!”
Everyone looks at each other.
Jin of course, is the first one to pose a theory.
“We had a cosplay rape orgy with Yamapi?”
Koki throws a pillow at him.
~~~~~
“Welcome to Johnny’s Teamwork Camp 2007!” a cheerful voice shouts over the loudspeaker as the KAT-TUN members warily exit their cabin (once Ueda and Kame have done their hair and Koki and Maru have stopped fighting over who gets to pee first).
“Teamwork camp?” Jin echoes, and wrinkles his nose. “I didn’t hear about this.”
He says it as if he expects management to inform him of the decisions it makes beforehand. Maru thinks it’s cute.
Koki just looks wary. “Is this one of those places where we have to fall down and everyone else catches us?” he asks.
“I’m dropping you because it would be funny,” Maru tells him, with no pretense whatsoever.
“Sounds fun!” Junno chirps. He’s ignored.
Kame sighs and looks around. “I guess it’s work related then,” he says, and seems resigned. “Let’s just get it over with.”
~~~~~
“You’ve been selected by the management as this year’s group that needs the most teamwork training!” they’re told after breakfast by the camp’s head counselor, Makino-kun.
“Um…okay,” Kame begins, carefully. “But if that’s the case… why is everyone else here too?”
“We think it’s fun!” Koyama exclaims by way of explanation, and everyone in NewS hugs. “Yay!”
“Yay!” the other NewS members agree, except for Ryo, who is asleep on Yamapi’s shoulder.
“Kanjani 8 often comes for the food, and Arashi members have the tradition of trying to have all five members sleep in one twin-sized bed for the entire week. NewS are the graduates of camp from 2004 and 2005,” Makino-kun exclaims proudly. “See how happy they all are now?”
“Yay!” NewS cheers.
Nakamaru raises his hand. “Right. Question.”
“Yes, Nakamaru-kun?”
“What kind of prescriptions did you give them for that? Because I’m allergic to some medication, and I just want to be prepared.”
Silence.
The counselor clears his throat. “Well in any case, we’re very happy to have them back again this year. It will be good for all of you to have role models to follow while we reorder your group dynamics while you’re here,” Makino-kun tells them. “The company wants you to fix whatever is not working so that you become either like Arashi, NewS, or K8. The fans like that sort of thing best, you know.”
Nakamaru raises his hand again; this time he is ignored.
“Anyway, shall we begin? Let’s start with group discussion, okay?”
“Yay!” NewS says. Again.
And Ueda thinks he now realizes why some members of that group were driven to drink post-2004.
~~~~~
“Um, I’m not doing that,” Koki says, once they are all ready and seated in a circle for group discussion.
Tegoshi blinks up guilelessly at him from Ryo’s lap. “Doing what, Koki-kun?”
Makino-kun smiles at Koki patiently. “That’s not actually part of the exercise. Tegoshi-kun is just friendly.”
“Oh,” Koki says. Then, to the rest of NewS, “How the hell does that look normal to you all?”
“It’s member-ai!” Koyama insists. “You should try it.”
Koki tries to imagine Junno in his lap. “Pass,” he says, instantly.
“Pass,” the rest of his group agrees.
Tegoshi just laughs from Ryo’s lap. “Ah, is this making you uncomfortable? Should I get off?”
Ryo ignores KAT-TUN’s discomfort because he doesn’t care. Instead he wraps an arm around Tegoshi. “Stop wiggling, Tego-nyan,” he says, bluntly. “You’ll fall off.”
Tegoshi sparkles back at him. “Haaaai! But you’ll catch me if I do, ne, Ryo-tan?”
Ryo ruffles his hair. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Yay!”
There is a strange fuzzy glow in the air around Tegoshi and Ryo; Maru never thought that he would ever see an actual physical rip in the fabric of the universe until today.
KAT-TUN looks at each other.
And they all raise their hands-as one.
“We’re not doing that,” they say.
~~~~~
“So what do you guys do whenever there is a fight?” Makino-kun asks KAT-TUN patiently, once everyone is seated.
“No hitting below the belt; avoid face shots if there’s a shoot that week,” Koki reports, faithfully. The honor code of men and stuff like that.
Silence.
Makino-kun frowns and makes a note. “I see. Does anyone else here have any suggestions for how KAT-TUN members could change this very disturbing method of conflict resolution?”
Ohno from Arashi raises his hand.
“Yes, Ohno-kun?”
Ohno blinks a few times and puts his hand down. “What?”
“Leader,” Sho begins, patiently, “You raised your hand.”
“Oh.”
Makino-kun speaks slower. “What does Arashi do whenever there is a fight?” he asks.
Ohno blinks a few more times. “Well…” pause. “Fight?”
MatsuJun leans over and whispers into his leader’s ear. After a moment, his eyes light up with recognition. “Right!” He turns back to Makino-kun. “Orgy,” he reports.
KAT-TUN stares.
They all raise their hands. “Pass,” they say.
~~~~~
“How about you, Eito?” Makino-kun asks, after KAT-TUN passes on the whole orgy thing.
Yokoyama blinks sleepily. “Orgy,” he says.
He gets smacked.
He frowns. “That’s not right?”
“You’re just copying what Ohno-kun said, aren’t you?” Murakami rails.
“Ah, but I wasn’t even listening!” Yokoyama complains, and rubs his head. He gets smacked again just because.
“Are they fighting?” Tegoshi whispers, to Ryo.
Ryo snorts.
They look like they’re fighting, but before things can get heated; everyone notices that Maruyama is asleep.
So instead of argue, they opt to stop so they can draw things on his face together.
Nakamaru raises his hand. “How is that member-ai?” he asks.
Subaru grins. “We drew some hearts.”
Yokoyama nods and points a few of them out. “They’re next to the penises.”
“Pass,” KAT-TUN says.
And then I think there was supposed to be something about how KT's selling point would be for them to punch each other but I don't remember. This is way old.
The end.