Back from vacation, avec les slightly thinky thoughts

[neverglass]

(I say that like it's anything unusual. It really isn't. Also, exponible over at sopping made my icon before I left on vacation, & I mention this because it's my new favorite & she's amazing & you should definitely check out her graphics comm. And also because I like to talk about my amazing bffs.)

Without further adieu, my thinky thoughts on a lot of crazy schiße

Comments

[citruslover]

Wow, that was deep! You covered lots of ground there. I just wanted to comment on your philosophy of this being your "private" journal, because I think that's interesting. It's totally understandable--that's how my journal is too. lol It's like the difference between work and private life, kind of. But it seems like a contrast from how most other LJ users use theirs.

And best of luck on your music career! With your kind of outlook, you have the persistence to accomplish anything. Can I say I knew you before you got big and famous? :)

Hope you had a good time on vacation and it wasn't all deep thoughts. ;)

[neverglass]

Thank you!

It definitely is really different from the way a lot of people use LJ. What I've seen mostly is that there are 'regular' people, who just write, mostly surface day-to-day happenings or who use LJ as a blog; then there are fandom people, who do that plus fic; and then there's the occasional person who does this.

Thank you so much! And of course. ;D

It was awesome. We hiked forty miles in four days, & I made this hour-long list of things I like because we had to make noise to keep the bears away, & I sang Paramore/There for Tomorrow/Cinema Bizarre (because apparently I just never never never shut up about them)/Eyes Set to Kill on the trail. We also got lost on the bad side of Boise & my brother wouldn't let me ask directions from the hot guy behind the counter.

How are you?

[citruslover]

I stumbled onto a lot of the popslash fandom LJ's, but it seems like most people use it as another version of Myspace. :P I like "this" better! lol

Forty miles in four days?! Oh my gosh, you are fit! Nice playlist. ;) Well, it's the hot ones who are dangerous, didn't you know? LOL And I've been good thank you, although the rainy weather here is not conducive to being outside. :P

[neverglass]

Yeahhh, that's exactly it! There are actually a bunch of people who go to my school who have LJs, and I'm just like, "...avoiding that."

Haha, thanks! And I'd forgotten, lol. He was totally an axe-murderer; he was just hiding the axe under the counter. :P

[neverglass]

I take that as a really huge compliment; thank you so much. I'm sure that someday (soon!) you'll be able to say something like this & mean it completely.

Part of what led to it was that I just got a lot of really random shit talked about me last year, & there were people that I'd never seen before in my life who just liked to come up & mess with me. At first, it really, really upset me. But then I talked to a couple people & listened to some stuff ("Sure part of this place would cheer if I died/But don't let them take away your beautiful smile"), & I realized that this stuff happens to everyone.

I was eventually just like, 'Fuck this shit. If you're an asshole, it's not my issue.' I started faking the confidence, &, sometime during the middle of the year, I realized, 'Wait... this is real?' And I think that was part of why people messed with me - I was confident, & I'm not much like most people at my school at all, & most of them don't really know me, so why should I be confident

[neverglass]

Yay!!! I'm so happy for you. It's really exciting that you feel like you're making real progress with confidence! Half the time, I have to force myself to be confident. It's really hard - way harder than you think when you're stuck in some sudden unconfident moment & don't want to stay there, but it's also way easier than what you think in that unconfident moment. I used to be that shy, too; I couldn't even ask for things I wanted from my family unless I absolutely knew I wouldn't be rejected

[gantai]

MARGARET. this is fantastic. i don't even need to say go for it. you have my support 100%. when you get your mic and start covers i totally have tons of requests that i'll pimp out when they're fullfilled. *A*

and i need to take you to the new little community center by hess and radioshack. the lady there told me that they have free instrument lessons, and you're free to play when you want, and i think it would be a good way to get some more support and chill and practice and have fun. :D

also, i demand a link to this scene queen primer.

and my comment seems lame and shallow compared to other people's. i'm sorry. ):

[neverglass]

I love you sososososo much; you're the best. Your comment is definitely not lame or shallow in comparison to other people, & I didn't even mention that I'm totally going to be like 'bbz, I take requests! <333' (except minus the chatspeak) on the myspace page for it, & you were still like, 'Omg, I'm going to be all amazing & read her mind because I'm amazing like that!'

I will totes fill all your requests. <3

Okay! So! This the actual primer; it's three parts. There's also related, informative stuff that helped developed some of the opinions/worldviews I talked about in this post here, here, here, here, and here. Those last five links pretty much get shorter as they go along, &, well, if you have some time tonight...

This totes reminds me of when I was like OMG THERE'S A LIST OF REASONS NOT TO HATE BERT MCCRACKEN I FEEL SO BAD ABOUT HATING HIM I NEED TO GO LEARN TO LOVE HIM. And so I did & you were like, 'link meeeee. <3' So I did that, & you learned to love Bert McCracken with me. Or at least were informed. Idk, I love him now

[gantai]

my first request is decode by paramore. just a heads up. i don't care if it's about twilight. i make it about kamui in my head. there is no better joy than to override an annoying fandom with your own, and doing a cover of erin's favorite song is an even more satisfying way to do it. i have faith in you. :D

also, i say keep the chatspeak. i mean, it's myspace. get the scene kids into you. >:3

i still have that bert post in my mems. :,D
i love him too. but. he needs a shower. badly.

i try to be awesome about stuff because i would be a snarky bitch if i didn'tttt. :D

also, as a random thought, where do you find these el jay essays? :O

[neverglass]

I haven't actually heard it. I've been avoiding it because of Twilight, hahahaha. Also. I love youuuuu. For your faith in me & because YOU MADE IT ABOUT KAMUI THAT IS SO FUCKING AMAZING.

Hahahaha, it does make me seem more personable, doesn't it? I mean, on one hand, I do wanna come off all professional, but on the other hand, I also wanna be like FUCK I SWEAR I'M MORE FRIENDLY THAN THIS.

What I'm actually thinking about doing is not putting a proper picture up to avoid the scene kids... because I'm pretty sure the ones at my school want to shank meeee. & I don't really want to give them ammunition.

But isn't that what this journal entry's about? Not giving a fuck if they have ammunition? & you know what? It might just open their eyes to the fact that I am not necessarily deserving of shanking.

So I think I'm just gonna be like, 'Fuck unconfidence!' all over again. Thanks for the accidental inspiration/wake-up call, bb. <3

AWESOME. And he does. And you'd be awesome if even you were a snarky bitch. <3