}| 37 |{

[never_very_good]

[ VOICE ]

Why'd the vampire call a funeral home?

[Pause.]

Ordering take-out.

Why do vampires make shitty company?

[Pause.]

They're a pain in the neck.

What does a vampire missing a fang do?

[Pause.]

Grin and bare it.

Why shouldn't you tell a vampire to get a life?

[Pause.]

He might take yours.

There! Jeez.

[CLICK.]

Comments

[princeserpent]

Why such a fixation on vampires? Besides their obvious comic appeal, of course.

[never_very_good]

'Cause the whole City's a bad joke.

[princeserpent]

I realized that when I saw the network. I wonder if this is some sort of curse? If it is, it's a lot more silly and irrelevant than I expected.

[never_very_good]

Sometimes they are.

How do vampires cross the ocean?

[princeserpent]

Perhaps to make the more serious curses look dangerous in contrast, as well.

I'm afraid I don't know.

[never_very_good]

Or just to fuck with us.

In blood vessels.

[princeserpent]

That's a reasonable assumption.

...[sigh] That was almost painful, you know.

[never_very_good]

I got millions.