Fic: Fiduciary Misconduct - White Collar, Gen

Jun 11, 2011 13:40

Title: Fiduciary Misconduct
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: G (Gen)
Author's Note: For tigriswolf. (Prompted at comment_fic)
Summary: By this time, people are taking bets as to what Peter's child's first word will be.



It’s completely ridiculous… Except in that way that nothing is ridiculous so long as it pertains to baby Rachel. It started off harmless. He questioned- No… Less than that; he wondered, really- Peter mused aloud on the topic of Rachel’s first word and what it would be.

Apparently, he had issued forth a challenge.

Suddenly every other word out of El’s mouth was ‘Mama’. No exaggeration. Every sentence El spoke in Rachel’s presence literally had the word ‘mama’ in it. Peter began to worry that his daughter would grow up thinking that she is, in fact, the ‘Mama.’

Of course, he had to keep his child’s well-being at the forefront of his concerns. Peter began peppering his speech with liberal amounts of ‘Da-da’ and the occasional ‘Pops’.

Things probably would have gone back to normal after that - Peter and El having talked over their own silliness, laughed, and cooled it on influencing Rachel’s development - but Neal had let word of this little “name war” slip at the office.

By this time people are taking bets as to what Rachel’s first word will be. There’s a white board set up in the break-room and everything. Jones has a hundred bucks riding on Rachel’s saying ‘mama’ first (the traitor); Neal bet that her first word will actually be ‘Satchmo’ (“For laughs,” he said, but Peter’s seen the linguistic development textbooks in the bottom drawer of Neal’s desk, and he’s wary); Diana smirked and put down twenty that Rachel will say ‘fiduciary misconduct.’ She says it was worth the money to see the looks on people’s faces when they see the white board. Even Hughes is having fun with this. He bet fifty bucks that Rachel doesn’t talk until she can speak in full sentences with ‘Agent Burke’.

“June thinks she’ll say Da-da first,” Neal says, one night after dinner, dividing his attention between Peter’s dog and Peter’s baby - petting one and holding the other, respectively - while Peter and El clear the table. Peter grins over a stack of dishes at his wife. El looks unimpressed, but smiles at Peter’s enthusiasm.

“Well. Tell her I said thank you.”

“She says children learn to pronounce the letter ‘d’ before any of the others, so it’s a statistical probability.”

El laughs as Peter’s smug expression fades. “June says, huh?” Peter asks.

Neal grins.

Peter would call him on paying a lot more attention to Rachel-related issues than he sometimes lets on, but Neal is busy watching Rachel destroy a no-doubt sickeningly expensive necktie with her tiny fist and baby spit.

Peter and El share a look. Neal is just smiling down at their daughter, saying random things to her in an excited tone, making her giggle. Peter’s seen Neal knee a guy in the groin for touching one of his precious ties (well, that - and for trying to shoot Peter). But for Rachel, apparently, the pricey piece of fabric is an acceptable teether.

“What does Mozzie say?” El asks, before Neal can catch them watching him. He puts Rachel down when her bouncing on his knee becomes more pronounced and she starts making that weird “nuh” sound of hers.

Peter hopes to God that her first word isn’t ‘No’. That would just not be a sign of good things to come. (Although, considering how much time Rachel spends around Neal - formerly the biggest con of Peter’s acquaintance - perhaps it would be a helpful thing. Peter wouldn’t put it past Neal to try and teach Rachel to scam the other pre-school kids out of their milk money when it comes time for things like pre-K.)

Neal laughs. “He thinks I’ve been trying to get her to say ‘Moz’ all this time.”

Peter sets the last of the dishes next to the sink (it’s El’s turn to wash) and scoops Rachel up, stopping her from trying to teeth on poor Satchmo’s tail (again).

“Moz and not Mr. Haversham?” Peter says, kissing Rachel on the top of her tiny head. “Guess that means he likes you, kid.”

Rachel grins and grabs at his face. She makes her “nuh” noises when Peter sits them both down on the couch next to Neal and reaches for the remote control.

“What are you guys putting on?” El calls from the other room.

“Anything but Ni Hao, Kai-Lan,” Peter and Neal say more or less simultaneously. Peter wonders if that’s the noise Rachel makes so regularly, in honor of her favorite tv show.

He and El are planning to teach her a second language someday, and Neal would certainly approve of Mandarin as their choice. The Chinese yuan has risen a lot in value over the last few years.

It takes a couple of weeks for Peter and El to figure it out.

Rachel’s “nuh”s have progressed to “nee”s and when Peter picks up the hat that Neal’s left, forgotten, on the sofa table, Rachel goes beserk.

“Nee! Nee! Nee!” she babbles, pulling herself up beside the coffee table. Peter’s almost gotten over his debilitating fear that Rachel will somehow concuss herself during one of these forays into the world of being vertical, so he doesn’t see a connection, but Elizabeth immediately covers her mouth with her hands like she’s seen something amazing.

“Oh! Oh, Peter…”

“What?” Peter looks frantically at Rachel. At the coffee table. At the hat and, lastly, himself; did he miss something? El’s ‘Oh, Peter‘ isn’t panicked so it can’t be anything bad, but-

“Nee! Nee! Nee!” Rachel babbles, smiling.

She’s looking at Peter. And Neal’s hat…

El is brimming over with excitement and amusement when she lowers her hands and looks at him. “Peter, do you think-”

“Nee! Nee!” Rachel bounces on her knees, re-igniting thoughts of concussions and removing all hard surfaces from the living room, but Peter’s caught on now.

“She’s saying-” Peter looks at Neal’s hat.

He can’t help answering El’s giggles with a chuckle of his own.

They call Neal immediately.

El meets Neal at the door while Peter waits with Rachel in the living room. Peter can hear Neal’s laughter as soon as El lets him in, no doubt grinning as brightly as Peter can feel himself doing. Perhaps this is weird. Perhaps a man’s CI shouldn’t be so close to his family that his own daughter calls for the other man first - and perhaps the fact that she has shouldn’t thrill him.

But then, Neal Caffrey and should have never gone well together, and when Elizabeth drags Neal into the room…

“Okay, okay! What is so important?”

“Rachel’s said her first word!”

When Neal looks up and Peter turns around and Rachel starts to bounce in his arms, grinning and holding her chubby arms out to Neal…

“Nee!” she shrieks.

“It’s Neal,” Peter tells him.

When Peter sees the look on Neal’s face as Peter’s daughter tries her best to say his name…

Peter can’t imagine things being any other way.

And he’s glad he asked Jones to leave his guess off of the whiteboard. The look of surprise on Neal’s face is worth even more than the hefty sum Peter’s won from their bet.

[end.]

ETA: I've also written a second response to this prompt, here. I couldn't choose whether to write Peter and El's child as a boy or a girl... So I didn't!

g, comment fic: jun 11, fic: white collar, gen, wckid!fic

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