"You know that you are not alone. Need you like water in my lungs."
I have been thinking a lot lately. Philosophizing, almost (though, ironically, when I'm in Philosophy, I'm incapable of any form of higher thinking).
I've come to the conclusion that we don't *need* love. Yeah, you can say that "All you need is love" or quote the entire Elephant Love Medley from Moulin Rouge, but it means nothing. Nobody has ever died from being alone unless they have bought into the idea that they need someone else for their life to be complete.
That's what gets to me, that's why so many people I know have emotional problems - we have been ingrained with the belief that we need someone else in our lives in order for us to be happy, and if we don't have anyone then there must be something wrong with us.
The same people that laugh at the existence of ghosts or scoff at the idea of UFOs will pause and consider the existence of soulmates and take the idea that "everyone will find someone eventually" as more or less a given.
But it's not a given. It is logically impossible for everyone to find someone. How difficult is it for you to find someone you like? How difficult is it for you to find someone you like that has the inclination to like you back? For that to develop into a relationship? For that relationship to last? For it to grow into love? For that love to last forever? For both people in the couple to have the same level of committment?
I'm not saying it doesn't happen for some people. It does, and good for them. But people in relationships are certainly not happy all the time. Even happily married couples have fights, moments of anger and regret.
I've never been in love. I've been "in like", I've been infatuated, I've been obsessed. Through it all I've been alone. And during this time I've been happy. Not all the time, no. Actually, far from it. But even if relationships automatically guaranteed happiness, that wouldn't mean I couldn't be happy without one. Last week, I experienced spiritual elation from a simple fall day.It's all in our perception. And I perceive that I don't need to be happy for me not to be depressed.
I don't think that I'll ever have someone. Eventually I figure I'll probably be involved with an individual or individuals; I'm not disgusting, I've been told that I'm charming, I have moments where I'm funny, and I can be intelligent and caring in conversations. But I'm relatively certain that I will never be romantically committed with someone; in the end, I will live my life alone.
That is not a cry of "Woe is me! I am going to die alone! Why do I have to be so lonely?", though I will be the first person to admit that I have wallowed in my "unfortunate" condition. I don't need people to tell me of course you'll find someone, you're a wonderful person, or anything else. Whether or not that is the case is irrelevent to the simple fact that I probably will remain alone. This does not have to be sad; I don't feel loss. It isn't even resignation exactly. It's something lighter than that.... It's realism. It is simply real.
I am going to be alone. Not by choice, but not with despair.
I've come to the conclusion that we don't *need* love. Yeah, you can say that "All you need is love" or quote the entire Elephant Love Medley from Moulin Rouge, but it means nothing. Nobody has ever died from being alone unless they have bought into the idea that they need someone else for their life to be complete.
That's what gets to me, that's why so many people I know have emotional problems - we have been ingrained with the belief that we need someone else in our lives in order for us to be happy, and if we don't have anyone then there must be something wrong with us.
The same people that laugh at the existence of ghosts or scoff at the idea of UFOs will pause and consider the existence of soulmates and take the idea that "everyone will find someone eventually" as more or less a given.
But it's not a given. It is logically impossible for everyone to find someone. How difficult is it for you to find someone you like? How difficult is it for you to find someone you like that has the inclination to like you back? For that to develop into a relationship? For that relationship to last? For it to grow into love? For that love to last forever? For both people in the couple to have the same level of committment?
I'm not saying it doesn't happen for some people. It does, and good for them. But people in relationships are certainly not happy all the time. Even happily married couples have fights, moments of anger and regret.
I've never been in love. I've been "in like", I've been infatuated, I've been obsessed. Through it all I've been alone. And during this time I've been happy. Not all the time, no. Actually, far from it. But even if relationships automatically guaranteed happiness, that wouldn't mean I couldn't be happy without one. Last week, I experienced spiritual elation from a simple fall day.It's all in our perception. And I perceive that I don't need to be happy for me not to be depressed.
I don't think that I'll ever have someone. Eventually I figure I'll probably be involved with an individual or individuals; I'm not disgusting, I've been told that I'm charming, I have moments where I'm funny, and I can be intelligent and caring in conversations. But I'm relatively certain that I will never be romantically committed with someone; in the end, I will live my life alone.
That is not a cry of "Woe is me! I am going to die alone! Why do I have to be so lonely?", though I will be the first person to admit that I have wallowed in my "unfortunate" condition. I don't need people to tell me of course you'll find someone, you're a wonderful person, or anything else. Whether or not that is the case is irrelevent to the simple fact that I probably will remain alone. This does not have to be sad; I don't feel loss. It isn't even resignation exactly. It's something lighter than that.... It's realism. It is simply real.
I am going to be alone. Not by choice, but not with despair.