(no subject)
What a tormented night. Deception, guilt, shame. Why? I need to find why.
I'm really not sure.
I think I know why. Perhaps that I'm scared that I'm annoying the people I want to impress? Am I going to fast? Too far? Perhaps. But I'm going as fast and as far as *I* want to go, and that's the important.
Is it more important that I stop censoring myself or that I start acting according to what society wants me in order to advance in the direction I want to advance?
Can I trust the so-called "universe" to lead me, or is my faith in faith too great?
I have goals I want to achieve, and it is NOW that I determinate wether I'm to achieve these goals or now. The decision between following and confronting must be taken NOW.
Censoring seems so wrong, yet it also seems like the only realistic path, now.
It feels as if the thick past of their reality is melting and taking over. Taking over my bubble of trust and confidence.
I'm really not sure.
I think I know why. Perhaps that I'm scared that I'm annoying the people I want to impress? Am I going to fast? Too far? Perhaps. But I'm going as fast and as far as *I* want to go, and that's the important.
Is it more important that I stop censoring myself or that I start acting according to what society wants me in order to advance in the direction I want to advance?
Can I trust the so-called "universe" to lead me, or is my faith in faith too great?
I have goals I want to achieve, and it is NOW that I determinate wether I'm to achieve these goals or now. The decision between following and confronting must be taken NOW.
Censoring seems so wrong, yet it also seems like the only realistic path, now.
It feels as if the thick past of their reality is melting and taking over. Taking over my bubble of trust and confidence.