(no subject)
Telepathy during sleepstate, schizophrenia as an extrasensorial/supracortical experience, all these parapsychology issues coming back (at last). Because I slowly begin to realize that not ALL of the scientific community actually discredits it?
It is hard, VERY hard, to remain true to oneself, after the judgement of people one considers as incredible. It has been two times in as many weeks that I am mad at my differences. The second time that I fear being me. I just realized that I'm starting to censor my self. It is a very strange feeling. A sort of sadness, mixed with ...fear perhaps? I'm not sure. Apprenhension? It could be.
This censorship... is not necessary. Yet not in my world. But my world is starting to crumble. I am falling in a world I don't even beleive in. Could it be reality hitting me? But what if I didn't beleive in reality? What if my world was what I make of it? The pulse is like a restless mantra, in my head: I don't beleive in their rules. *I* should make the rules.
Plus! I have to work tomorrow.
It is hard, VERY hard, to remain true to oneself, after the judgement of people one considers as incredible. It has been two times in as many weeks that I am mad at my differences. The second time that I fear being me. I just realized that I'm starting to censor my self. It is a very strange feeling. A sort of sadness, mixed with ...fear perhaps? I'm not sure. Apprenhension? It could be.
This censorship... is not necessary. Yet not in my world. But my world is starting to crumble. I am falling in a world I don't even beleive in. Could it be reality hitting me? But what if I didn't beleive in reality? What if my world was what I make of it? The pulse is like a restless mantra, in my head: I don't beleive in their rules. *I* should make the rules.
Plus! I have to work tomorrow.