Fine Print, for the letters challenge

[theladyrose]

Title: Fine Print
Author: theladyrose
Rating: G
Pairing: NS/IK, if you want to see it that way
Disclaimer: I lay no claim on our spy guys.
Archived: At my personal site, along with everything else I've written so far
Feedback: I'd love to hear what you have to say as I'm not quite satisfied with this piece but don't quite know what to do. If there are any

Comments

[ashley_pitt]

Oh, i love the English Horn reference and isn't

as long as they had world enough and time.

an INK quote from The Bow-Wow Affair?

[theladyrose]

I was thinking of that piece of yours with Illya practicing that instrument when I wrote the English Horn reference, actually :D

You've got sharp eyes! INK does quote world enough and time in Bow Wow.

[aneuhaus]

If you think this means that Ashley_Pitt has sharp eyes, start a conversation with her about "The Great Escape"!

[ashley_pitt]

*g*

[aneuhaus]

I really liked the story line. I do think, though, that the narrative is a little disjointed, and sounds a bit impersonal, as though the narrator is telling someone else's story instead of one he has experienced. Sleep deprivation can do that (and other interesting things) to you, for sure. The ending is very sweet.

Oh, and you're welcome. Believe me, I am enjoying the benefits of it, too!

[azdak]

I like the narrator's impersonal, rather philosophical tone. I also think it's very much theladyrose's voice - if ever you participate in a round of Guess the Author, Rosie, I bet I can pick you out based on that alone.

I agree about the "disjointed" feel, though, and I think that comes partly from an overabundance of adverbs - you modify, and re-modify what you say to the point where it loses impact (if you like, I can e-mail you the points where I think pruning would help?)

I love the crossword clue; I think it's brilliant.

[theladyrose]

Thanks so much for the feedback - I've been told that I have a distinct way of saying things, but I didn't realize that it carried over into my attempts at writing fiction.

I'd greatly appreciate your suggestions about adverbs - I know I abuse them terribly (darn it, I'm doing it again!), but it's hard to break out of the cycle. My e-mail address is falling ice water @ hotmail.com without the spaces.

The crossword clue is my favorite part, too; it's amazing what switching the music you're listening to while writing can do! The musical suite I have from the movie, They Might Be Giants, has always been a favorite of mine.

[theladyrose]

Thanks so much for the feedback! I was having a lot of difficulty trying to figure out how "close" the narrator should be to the emotional action; honestly, it feels like this piece is made up of two vignettes that I probably shouldn't have joined. I think it's because the 1st part was my attempt at recycling an idea I had from a fic long abandoned that I was about to scrap.

[edna_blackadder]

It was easy enough to spin a tale for the innocents who were less concerned about consistency in his tall tales and more open to being entertained by his glamorous trappings, but resurrecting the fiction of his old self was another story.

The whole thing is lovely, but in particular this rings so very, very true. And I love the tantalizing hints here that Napoleon's pre-UNCLE days were anything but glamorous, and how it ties in nicely with the sweet, almost domestic ending with Illya. Well-done. :)

[st_crispins]

I just followed the link on the remix and wow ---I didn't realize I'd missed this.

Liked it a lot ---epecially that she's marrying a Thrush guy! Oh my!

I like the fact that Solo is rather casual about it (!) and lastly, loved the 'windmill' comment/puzzle solution. Don Quixote seems a natural reference for the guys.