as the end approaches . . .
i feel completely heartbroken. and i know it's not intentional. atlernatively, it's excellent. and both are coming from honesty. but it's still heartbreaking.
i'm starting to think that the only way i'm going to move out of this, is to go home. and so i have to. but i'm dreading that goodbye. again.
i can't stop questionning myself. maybe i'm too hard on myself? or maybe these are questions that have to be asked. but where i'm gonna get the answers, i have no idea. cause i obviously don't have them at this point.
i'm thinking a lot about what this entire time has been about. the first time, it was adventure, fear, risk-taking and ultimately truly growing up. i've spent a lot of the last 6 1/2 months believing this time is about my destiny, finding it and starting the next chapter of my life. but that's not how it's turning out. i'm going to go home heartbroken, lost and uncertain. and don't know what it's all for.
i'm starting to think that the only way i'm going to move out of this, is to go home. and so i have to. but i'm dreading that goodbye. again.
i can't stop questionning myself. maybe i'm too hard on myself? or maybe these are questions that have to be asked. but where i'm gonna get the answers, i have no idea. cause i obviously don't have them at this point.
i'm thinking a lot about what this entire time has been about. the first time, it was adventure, fear, risk-taking and ultimately truly growing up. i've spent a lot of the last 6 1/2 months believing this time is about my destiny, finding it and starting the next chapter of my life. but that's not how it's turning out. i'm going to go home heartbroken, lost and uncertain. and don't know what it's all for.