(no subject)
I am frustrated. I wish all of it had never happened, ever or that it hadn't ended. I wish we could have just started out friends that would have been so much Fucking easier. I hate feeling like i am at ease as a friend to someone and knowing that they have no idea how to deal with it. I feel like we are back in fourth grade and in order for us as boy and girl to be friend he must be violent in a girls-have-cooties sort of way. We must have no affection for each other, as friends have such as hugging and shit because that might infere the wrong idea to me, or to the public that might view these acts of open friendly-ness. Also did he give a second thought to the consequences he might have left behind when we droped that certian part of our friendship? Am I going to be left to deal with thing I never wanted to deal with or will I be lucky? So glad that I have Caitlyn and several other people (i.e. RICHARD and other friends) in my life that will help me when they can. So I Don't know I'm not hostile thats not how I'm writing this i just am confused, life is very complicated and sometimes i get the feeling that I'm one of those people who never got the tools the need to deal with it. I'm going to go...to many emotions.