*Traveling Alone...
Riding the white line
The thought crossed my mind
Drop my hands to my sides
...and fly
A tear in my eye
Nothing to do but cry
As I realize
The long to die
....why?
I want to try
To LIVE this life
But one without strife
...is a lie.
Get through tonight.
I just don't know anymore. What I'm living for I mean...What the hell is it all about, you know? It seems like shit just continuously piles on itself until it's created a heap that cannot be lifted. By the time you get a decent chunk of the pile removed, more shit is laid on the top.
People will never stick by you because you are not good enough. And if you are, they'll never see it. They'll make it look like they care because nobody likes to be an asshole, but they'll never truly care about you because the sad truth is, you don't care about yourself.
You spend your life alone because you wind up a bitter person that won't allow anyone to love you. It's hard when you're always odd man out though. It's like the kid that get's picked last on teams in elementary school at recess time. If not last to be picked, there's an odd number and you don't even get to play.
When you become used to being alone, it's awkward when others are around and you either learn to adjust to them or push them out before they push you.
Sound familiar?
All too much, I'm sure.
Except for, not including is the same as pushing out. It's not being pushed out, it's just not being pulled in with everybody else. Exclusion. That's an ugly word.
...for an ugly world.
...an UGLY word for UGLY people to utilize in their unspoken vocabulary that only shows in their UGLY actions.
Whatever though. I'll be the one to quit first. It's better than the painful suspense of hoping for the call that never comes. It's better than the times I AM there and still not included at all. It's better than knowing that when you're around, you're never truly wanted. It's better than once again being dubbed the ODD MAN OUT.
I hope for the happiness of those I once associated with. Good luck in your endeavors. I learned a lot from all 4 of you and all the friends I connected to just by knowing you. I loved you despite however you felt about me, and I'm sorry I never LET myself be enough. I never wanted to be what I am, but it just seems to be my destiny. I'll continue to love you through my life or whatever you choose to call what remains of it. I'll think of you daily, wondering what you're doing, and hoping I linger in a random thought every now and then. Know that my phone is still on and is always accepting your calls never made. Should you ever choose to change that, I'd love it. Did I mention, I love you? So long as you all know that.
The thought crossed my mind
Drop my hands to my sides
...and fly
A tear in my eye
Nothing to do but cry
As I realize
The long to die
....why?
I want to try
To LIVE this life
But one without strife
...is a lie.
Get through tonight.
I just don't know anymore. What I'm living for I mean...What the hell is it all about, you know? It seems like shit just continuously piles on itself until it's created a heap that cannot be lifted. By the time you get a decent chunk of the pile removed, more shit is laid on the top.
People will never stick by you because you are not good enough. And if you are, they'll never see it. They'll make it look like they care because nobody likes to be an asshole, but they'll never truly care about you because the sad truth is, you don't care about yourself.
You spend your life alone because you wind up a bitter person that won't allow anyone to love you. It's hard when you're always odd man out though. It's like the kid that get's picked last on teams in elementary school at recess time. If not last to be picked, there's an odd number and you don't even get to play.
When you become used to being alone, it's awkward when others are around and you either learn to adjust to them or push them out before they push you.
Sound familiar?
All too much, I'm sure.
Except for, not including is the same as pushing out. It's not being pushed out, it's just not being pulled in with everybody else. Exclusion. That's an ugly word.
...for an ugly world.
...an UGLY word for UGLY people to utilize in their unspoken vocabulary that only shows in their UGLY actions.
Whatever though. I'll be the one to quit first. It's better than the painful suspense of hoping for the call that never comes. It's better than the times I AM there and still not included at all. It's better than knowing that when you're around, you're never truly wanted. It's better than once again being dubbed the ODD MAN OUT.
I hope for the happiness of those I once associated with. Good luck in your endeavors. I learned a lot from all 4 of you and all the friends I connected to just by knowing you. I loved you despite however you felt about me, and I'm sorry I never LET myself be enough. I never wanted to be what I am, but it just seems to be my destiny. I'll continue to love you through my life or whatever you choose to call what remains of it. I'll think of you daily, wondering what you're doing, and hoping I linger in a random thought every now and then. Know that my phone is still on and is always accepting your calls never made. Should you ever choose to change that, I'd love it. Did I mention, I love you? So long as you all know that.