Dating Site Ventures: Epilogue
Well, it's been fun for the last week and a half or so, but I think at this point I'm done with the whole thing. I found two people that are most likely both going to end up in the friends category, had some interesting conversations with a bunch of other people, and had a lot of fun with the questions (I answered just over 1000 before getting bored). I also fended off a bunch of others that I had no interest in, which is not unlike what happens in real life on a semi-regular basis, only more of them in a shorter period of time, and was one of the reasons I didn't really want to sign up to a dating site. Writing three really cranky notes at the bottom of my profile cut down on a lot of that, fortunately. I'm ready to deactivate my profile at this point, but still need to be able to see some of the messages for a little while longer before I do that. And then I'm going to see if I can get back to where I was before, when I was happy while single.
Mostly, the whole thing just reminded me of why I don't bother trying to date. What I'm looking for is highly specific, and I'll know it when I see it, and I almost never do. If I don't see it, nothing else about them is going to matter and there's no point even trying, because the last couple times I attempted more casual short-term dating ... well, one of them wanted to marry me after a month and took it as a challenge that I wasn't interested, and then the other ... I guess he more or less stomped off in a huff. So I just don't date at all to avoid all that. If I do see it, a whole lot of the more mundane things about them also won't matter, because then those just become details that we could work out if they're a problem (and if they were interested enough in me to want to try).
So what am I looking for? Someone who can form a two-way empathic connection with me. If there's potential, they'll look warm. I've seen maybe half a dozen such people in my entire life though, and then they have to also be compatible with the more mundane things about who they are (i.e. have some interests in common, not be already married or otherwise legally unavailable, etc.), and then they also have to like me back. I'm pretty sure this is just not going to happen for me, ever.
Mostly, the whole thing just reminded me of why I don't bother trying to date. What I'm looking for is highly specific, and I'll know it when I see it, and I almost never do. If I don't see it, nothing else about them is going to matter and there's no point even trying, because the last couple times I attempted more casual short-term dating ... well, one of them wanted to marry me after a month and took it as a challenge that I wasn't interested, and then the other ... I guess he more or less stomped off in a huff. So I just don't date at all to avoid all that. If I do see it, a whole lot of the more mundane things about them also won't matter, because then those just become details that we could work out if they're a problem (and if they were interested enough in me to want to try).
So what am I looking for? Someone who can form a two-way empathic connection with me. If there's potential, they'll look warm. I've seen maybe half a dozen such people in my entire life though, and then they have to also be compatible with the more mundane things about who they are (i.e. have some interests in common, not be already married or otherwise legally unavailable, etc.), and then they also have to like me back. I'm pretty sure this is just not going to happen for me, ever.