My Last Weekend @ MD

[nerdynorm]

So this is going to be my last weekend here at mattress discounters and im pretty excited yet im a little sad. It's not that I don't want to be here its just that I hate what I do. I'm more excited to start school and im excited to see what happends to me in the next year. Summer officially started I think friday but im not positive. I'm going to Heald college the 30th and i'm on my way to becoming a dental assitant. I'll be done by December of 2008.  :) I want to transfer to a 4 year and do a dental hygiene program so hopefully i'll get somewhere. I dont have a job after this one and financially i'll be pretty tight.  So when me and jesse broke up I was pretty happy to be single. I was very much relieved...and its just because I dont have my whole heart into it. I broke his...and I let him down but i guess hurt him now ratehr than later. its so weird because we talked about our future...marriage, kids, home, and things we could do together. That's why he moved back into his moms house...and the worst part was that I had just met his parents and I totally just left. I just cant belive I did something stupid and get into a reltaionship with him knowing that it might not work out. I think i was so desperate to have a comforting relationship and I was very vulnerable and suseptive to all men. On the other hand, I met a guy. His name is John Baxter. He works w/me in mattress discounters, and I met him at a sales meeting haha. Well i remember his voice and knowing his name but nothing I thought would interest me. He's 21 and a fun guy. He makes me feel like myself....at least a good mix. The ONLY thing that bothers me about him is that he smokes + that he's the same height as me. Height is not an issue but I can see the smoking thing taking affect in the future. He's awesome. I dont know how to describe the feeling. When we were kissing last night, I forgot to breathe and that moment made me like him so much more. He took me to this hill that if you park you can see all of pleasant hill, concord, pittsburg etc..and it was cute. :) well anyways, a cop showed up and he was pretty cool about us being there but while the guy was checking up on johns name I caughed and he looked at me, put his hand on my knee and sincerely asked me if I was okay, and at first i thought it was weird that he'd ask me if i was okay, but i thoguht it was really sweet. And THAT made me like him so much more.
Ive fallen! to be continued...