Leather cover
I've changed so much, but at the same time, I’m still the same. It’s almost as if I was born an empty notebook and life drew all over me with its beautiful colors. I still have the same leather cover and my pages are made from the same paper. The trees that were cut down to make me who I am are still the same. But I have so much more to offer now.
I have pretty smiles drawn on my pages and inspiring poems written in cursive letters. I have blurred phrases that were washed away forever by the tears of many readers who helped me understand that I’m not alone. I was told I was old, ugly and out of style. But instead of closing forever and hiding from the world, I decided to set my soul free. So it flew away from evil thoughts and found something so precious that made everything else worth it: love.
“Love is overrated”, they say. My answer is simple: “Then you haven't found it yet”. My pages felt the warmth of the colors red, pink and purple. There were so many hearts doodled on me, the other drawings got envious. “How come there are 174 hearts drawn on one page, but only 39 stars in the entire notebook?” asked a flower. “Mind your own business!” grunted a star, pretending not to be jealous of the hearts. The truth was, love was taking over my whole existence and my pages turned with the soft sound of a summer breeze. Romantic poems appeared as if by magic and now I finally knew what they meant.
As time passed by, I had several theories about love written on me and they all had one thing in common: they led nowhere. I realized that there’s no way we can fully comprehend how the mind is torn upside down when it falls in love, for love is not logical nor exact. I riffled through my history trying to find math equations that could help me solve this mystery. There was no use in that. While in math I learned that 1+1=2, following the rules of love, I discovered that one plus one equals a whole new universe full of possibilities. Instead of pursuing my search, I gave in to the maddening adventure that is being in love and was softly taken away by a delicious wave of pleasure and sweet despair.
My pages were becoming more and more colorful. Through the colors of love, I learned how to reveal my true colors. Everything was becoming clearer and life’s biggest mysteries didn't seem as frightening as they used to. I could clearly see the femininity of blue and the toughness of pink. Black could light my path even brighter than white ever could. Grey represented nature just as much as green. Suddenly, I could dream in colors that didn't even exist!
I've learned that sometimes things don’t go according to plan and that’s alright, because you can erase your mistakes by simply rubbing an eraser on them. But some mistakes are written in pen and you can only remove them using white paint. I was very tempted by the idea of making all my errors disappear, but I let the white paint dry as soon as I found true strength in my flaws. I decided I wasn't just going to accept them, but I would also embrace them. After all, they make me unique and for that I’m thankful.
Even though I take care of myself, the inevitable scratches and smudges compromise the integrity of my leather cover. Some may say it looks even more beautiful this way, proving that I've actually lived, instead of just accumulating dust on the shelf. I am certainly proud of all those marks, for they serve as evidence of the many fabulous stories I bring inside of me.
When the last word is written on my last page, I hope I can still make a difference in the world. Maybe I can teach a child how to read with my colorful alphabets or help a confused teenager telling them it is okay to feel lost. I can teach a young mother lovely lullabies so she can sing her baby to sleep and my childish drawings can make a businessman see that there are more important things in life than work.
I guess every notebook’s wish is to never be forgotten. I might even spend the rest of my days waiting in a shelf for someone to pick me up. And when that moment comes, I want to fill their eyes and souls with my fantastic stories and gorgeous drawings. I hope they feel so good that they’ll search nervously for the name on the cover, and that’s where my name will be.