The Time Has Come
The day draws near me, as if in a waking dream.
Something will happen, sending myself and my life in a certain direction, bringing me to a point beyond which there seems no return.
I sit here with the sense of ominous destiny wieghing heavily on my soul, my mind, my very being.
There will be no return to that which i was, perhaps even that which i am now.
I do not know what it is. I am afraid of it, because i do not know. It is a terrible thing, to live in fear. It is now that i experience it for the first time, really. I know i will feel pain. I know that following that, i may suffer perhaps the greatest challenge of my life, here, shortly. Perhaps a matter of mere hours. Perhaps days. More likely within just the next week or two.
I can feel my rage in the future right now, such that i am angry already. I feel myself needing to be on guard, willing to burn and destroy any and all feelings of sentiment that withold me from my destiny. I must offer to God my very self for the sake of this, of following and being consumed in nothing but the Divine Truth, and witholding Divine Justice.
I have the feeling that i may not come back from my near future visit to Tulsa. Maybe i will go somewhere else, maybe i will stay there, for a time. Maybe i am wrong, that i may come back, but i know that if i do i will not ever be the same.
My God, i sense a timelessness to it all that defies the limitations of word. And all that i might do is surrender to Him all that i am, all that i am capable of being.
Something will happen, sending myself and my life in a certain direction, bringing me to a point beyond which there seems no return.
I sit here with the sense of ominous destiny wieghing heavily on my soul, my mind, my very being.
There will be no return to that which i was, perhaps even that which i am now.
I do not know what it is. I am afraid of it, because i do not know. It is a terrible thing, to live in fear. It is now that i experience it for the first time, really. I know i will feel pain. I know that following that, i may suffer perhaps the greatest challenge of my life, here, shortly. Perhaps a matter of mere hours. Perhaps days. More likely within just the next week or two.
I can feel my rage in the future right now, such that i am angry already. I feel myself needing to be on guard, willing to burn and destroy any and all feelings of sentiment that withold me from my destiny. I must offer to God my very self for the sake of this, of following and being consumed in nothing but the Divine Truth, and witholding Divine Justice.
I have the feeling that i may not come back from my near future visit to Tulsa. Maybe i will go somewhere else, maybe i will stay there, for a time. Maybe i am wrong, that i may come back, but i know that if i do i will not ever be the same.
My God, i sense a timelessness to it all that defies the limitations of word. And all that i might do is surrender to Him all that i am, all that i am capable of being.