I don't want a new love -- you --
Her heart was beating normally again. It had slowed at last, but for a while it had felt prepared to burst, thundering in her chest as she sat on her bed, back to the wall, eyes firmly shut and hands clenched in fists. She wouldn't cry. Veronica Mars didn't cry.
What Veronica Mars did do was yell, but she couldn't here. There were too many people and she didn't know what she wanted to scream anymore anyway, what words would come out. Maybe none. Maybe it would have been a wordless cry, an expression of feelings she couldn't even name, or wouldn't. Maybe it didn't matter.
Because her heart had slowed. The tension in her chest had eased a little, even if the pressure still in her head left her feeling a little light. It took strength out of a girl, not to scream or cry, to summon the self-possession to contain herself while lying all the while to herself about the need to do so. Self-deceit was difficult, in the face of such overwhelming evidence, but Veronica was well-practiced.
Instead, she summoned up all her rage, all the anger she could draw on. There was something comforting in the familiarity of hate.
[Back-dated to the 5th of November, not long after her thread with Logan.]