I have a new job.
Eh. It doesn't really fit but I plan to hang in there awhile, give it a good shot yadda yadda. The money is great and that's part of the problem in a funny way. I've never had the image of myself with money, I can more easily picture myself poor to flat out homeless but to have money? Nuh. It's a trick. I am keeping an eye on other jobs because money and responsibility makes me uneasy. I seem to have jumped into the ocean without even asking myself if I want to swim. I gave in to the pressure to "better" myself, but am I? And did I need it? Right now I just want to stand behind a register and cease thinking.
I seem to have regressed a little in some ways- I only want to wear black, I only want to listen to punishing music, I suddenly want a tattoo, possibly any tattoo, dread my hair and read about Charles Manson. I am rebelling against this grand yuppie thing I've done to myself. I'm even getting on food jags. I only want pizza or sushi,and I want wine with my pizza. It's a good thing there's never any pizza left for breakfast. I want comfort. And comfort is living like a bum, early nineties style. Say hello to 24 year old me in the 42 year old body.
I seem to have regressed a little in some ways- I only want to wear black, I only want to listen to punishing music, I suddenly want a tattoo, possibly any tattoo, dread my hair and read about Charles Manson. I am rebelling against this grand yuppie thing I've done to myself. I'm even getting on food jags. I only want pizza or sushi,and I want wine with my pizza. It's a good thing there's never any pizza left for breakfast. I want comfort. And comfort is living like a bum, early nineties style. Say hello to 24 year old me in the 42 year old body.