hello modern times
My main enthusiasm for public holidays is simply that they give me days off. I've just had one but could do with approximately a million to follow. I live in terror of losing my job, but I still don't want to go to work tomorrow. It's the onslaught of tiny conversations with strangers; sometimes such a prospect is hard to face. I get tired, I get unsocial, I feel everything in me that isn't pragmatic and practical wither a little more. I try and do something that will feed me some more, and I'm too tired for that as well. Hmm. I write "tired" but the keyboard predictive thingy suggested "lazy". Sure, that's true, at least a bit. I'm sure if I did more, I could do more, energy births energy that way.
so if I have a resolution for the new year, it is to feed my soul a little better. And at the very least, to find a less hippified metaphor for whatever it is that I'm trying to do. No food, no souls. Just to feel more awake and alive somehow. Oh, and I'd like to shake off whatever has been destroying my sleep lately, some kind of fiend in my head that escapes at night and tries to smother me. Night terror, sleep paralysis, misfiring neurons, whatever it is I have no use for it. Which might mean a visit to the doctor, which is unlikely to yield much useful advice. But then, do I really want my mind dissected effectively enough to roust this thing? Who knows what else might unearth itself?
so if I have a resolution for the new year, it is to feed my soul a little better. And at the very least, to find a less hippified metaphor for whatever it is that I'm trying to do. No food, no souls. Just to feel more awake and alive somehow. Oh, and I'd like to shake off whatever has been destroying my sleep lately, some kind of fiend in my head that escapes at night and tries to smother me. Night terror, sleep paralysis, misfiring neurons, whatever it is I have no use for it. Which might mean a visit to the doctor, which is unlikely to yield much useful advice. But then, do I really want my mind dissected effectively enough to roust this thing? Who knows what else might unearth itself?