(no subject)
you're one of the only people who has tested my being in such a way. the words you form in my ears fill me with so much bliss that everything around me falls away. im so impressed.. im so impressed by you. quit underestimating yourself. i think you are naive to your own genius...
you should not question what your worth is to me. i tried to make up a stupid answer through the phone but it was just a quick excuse for a lack of words. my tongue could not express what my heart was feeling. i would have to invent a new language just to begin the description of your being...
you don't even know, because I force myself not to tell you, in fear. you know I try to be completely closed. i keep humans on the outside. i study them. i am like data. but you were the one that decided to pry me open. you were the one that decided to fight your way in. and for what? you have seen what i feel through my eyes, and it excites you. you've kicked in the front door to my heart and rushed in with glory and strength. yet suddenly you have fall. even in the fog of war, where you work your ass off and fill your brain with all that you can, you still claim your back could carry one thousand warriors, yet it has finally buckled under the pressures of trying to balance two relationships.
now you are trying... i understand what you are attempting to do. i tried the same thing with my last girlfriend. i know you still care about me, you are just trying to push it to the back of your brain. you are fighting your last fight to recover what you once felt. trust me, it can never be the same. i am proud of you though. i began to get disgusted by your lack of communication. lies can never solve your problems, and finally you let down your pride and smashed his face in with our reality. for that i am grateful. i am curious if you truly did it for yourself, or because i told you if i ever saw him i would tell him. i imagine a mixture of the two.
i sit here trying to stay calm as my fingers so carefully dance across. the deeper i think the more i sweat, and the more i sweat the more i long for your touch across my shoulder. sometimes when i close my eyes i feel like i can open them and you will be laying in my bed, looking at me with those never ending eyes. the eyes that first drew me in. the eyes that have torn through my flesh and my bone, and into my heart. your eyes are till as black as death, and are colder than −90.14 newtons, and if i looked into them now they would probably feel even darker, and even colder.
your "ex-boyfriend/current boyfriend" was right in the fact that we do need time apart. i was going to tell you sooner, but I could not bring myself to commit to the action. "I now understand that I'm the one who is broken." Someone find my heart and put it back. I seem to have dropped it." just because he tells you that you are broken does not mean it is true... nothing I have seen about you is broken in any way. in fact, you are so strong that it completely inspires me. the shit you have been going through, with your family, with your brother, with school. i would challenge the best ninjas around take the tasks on that you juggle every day as if they were nothing. i have your heart Hannah, and i will not give it back until you come pry it from my hands.
you told me i seem "lovey dovey". you seem amazed by the affection i give you. i would not let you go from my arms. because of fear. each time i get a hold of you it is in fear that i will not get the chance to again. all i can do now, is sit. and wait. i will not give up yet. i long for your conversation.
you should not question what your worth is to me. i tried to make up a stupid answer through the phone but it was just a quick excuse for a lack of words. my tongue could not express what my heart was feeling. i would have to invent a new language just to begin the description of your being...
you don't even know, because I force myself not to tell you, in fear. you know I try to be completely closed. i keep humans on the outside. i study them. i am like data. but you were the one that decided to pry me open. you were the one that decided to fight your way in. and for what? you have seen what i feel through my eyes, and it excites you. you've kicked in the front door to my heart and rushed in with glory and strength. yet suddenly you have fall. even in the fog of war, where you work your ass off and fill your brain with all that you can, you still claim your back could carry one thousand warriors, yet it has finally buckled under the pressures of trying to balance two relationships.
now you are trying... i understand what you are attempting to do. i tried the same thing with my last girlfriend. i know you still care about me, you are just trying to push it to the back of your brain. you are fighting your last fight to recover what you once felt. trust me, it can never be the same. i am proud of you though. i began to get disgusted by your lack of communication. lies can never solve your problems, and finally you let down your pride and smashed his face in with our reality. for that i am grateful. i am curious if you truly did it for yourself, or because i told you if i ever saw him i would tell him. i imagine a mixture of the two.
i sit here trying to stay calm as my fingers so carefully dance across. the deeper i think the more i sweat, and the more i sweat the more i long for your touch across my shoulder. sometimes when i close my eyes i feel like i can open them and you will be laying in my bed, looking at me with those never ending eyes. the eyes that first drew me in. the eyes that have torn through my flesh and my bone, and into my heart. your eyes are till as black as death, and are colder than −90.14 newtons, and if i looked into them now they would probably feel even darker, and even colder.
your "ex-boyfriend/current boyfriend" was right in the fact that we do need time apart. i was going to tell you sooner, but I could not bring myself to commit to the action. "I now understand that I'm the one who is broken." Someone find my heart and put it back. I seem to have dropped it." just because he tells you that you are broken does not mean it is true... nothing I have seen about you is broken in any way. in fact, you are so strong that it completely inspires me. the shit you have been going through, with your family, with your brother, with school. i would challenge the best ninjas around take the tasks on that you juggle every day as if they were nothing. i have your heart Hannah, and i will not give it back until you come pry it from my hands.
you told me i seem "lovey dovey". you seem amazed by the affection i give you. i would not let you go from my arms. because of fear. each time i get a hold of you it is in fear that i will not get the chance to again. all i can do now, is sit. and wait. i will not give up yet. i long for your conversation.