[THREAD; closed]

[waitingfora]

Who: Yosuke Hanamura and Shimazu Hisashi.
Where: Shimazu's residence.
When: After this Network thread.
Summary: More hugs. Probably.
Rating: R.
Other: It's Shimazu.

Comments

[castrater]

Aha. It was going to be nice to see his sensei again -- really, really, it was pure and genuine excited that traversed through his nerves and pulsed. And that was why within moments of finishing talking to Yosuke; Shimazu was quickly scouting around his room and picking up old-used tissues. Each were used and abused as wank-rags when he was watching Battle Royale. He let his nose twitch as he shoved them into his closet along with the randomized jarred organs. And, haha - wow, it would be pretty stupid if the psychopath was going to leave that right out in the open, right? He shoved the closet door closed and looked all around his room. The TV was blaring some crappy soap opera that Shimazu was watching intensely.

Fingers dipped into the pocket of his large cargo pants, removing a cigarette and he lit it until the end was a orange-yellow before exhaling the cigarette smoke with pursed lips that creased to preform a foul high-pitched and out of tune hum as he swayed his head back and forth, thinking of the stupidity that the Alpha & Omega had caused. But that was enough to think of, because when he heard the knock of the door, Shimazu quickly whipped his head around to it and made slow trotting steps.

Lips were pulled back into a half-smirk-smile as painted fingertips took a hold of the doorknob and he pulled the door open, his body sluggishly swaying as though his body couldn’t even take the simple gesture. He gave his sensei a two-fingered salute with a chipper greeting of -- "Hey sens~ei." A quick glance from head to toe and Shimazu leaned against the doorframe as his eyes continues to glance over Yosuke in an almost perverse way before saying with minor flirtation, "Hehehe -- sensei. You, you look good..." And with that, he took Yosuke’s wrist and pulled him into the room, nudging the door closed with the softest click.

[waitingfora]

His gaze was unfocused on the door; eyes becoming slightly unfocused as he took in the pattern of lines on the wood. It wasn't even like it took that long for the door to be answered, so he really couldn't be sure why he was spacing out as he was. Maybe, he really did need a few days to just sit and veg rather than force himself to do anything. His hand came up to strike himself on top of his head. Just what the hell was he thinking? Could he only think about himself and his feelings? What sort of person did he think he was if that was all he could think of in the end? A lousy one. Came a somber answer.

His hand was still striking him on the head when the door was answered. He tried to play it off like a wave -- opening up his fingers from the fist to wiggle a bit in the air. "Hey, Shimazu." Yosuke felt terrible that he couldn't muster up the same amount of cheer that his friend was exhibiting. Wasn't this supposed to be a joyous reunion? If he cried anymore, he probably would be dried out forever. Speaking of, his eyes must have looked terrible -- all red and bloodshot. That was why when Shimazu said that he looked good; he gave him a funny look like he didn't get the joke, before letting his wrist be grabbed and dragged into the apartment.

"I'm really sorry that you had to see that." He started as soon as the door was closed. Wondered what it was like for Shimazu, who had his family murdered in front of him and had to see hi friends murder each other. Of course, he couldn't actually say that Hidan was his friend. In fact, the guy probably hated him more than anyone in the city. His free hand came to rest on the back of his neck; feeling uncertain as to what to say and wondering if apologizing was the right thing to do. It wasn't really his fault. The game wasn't even something that he wanted to do. But somehow, it was what he wanted to say.

[castrater]

Oh. Was Yosuke crying again? It was a little typical, and that was why Shimazu let out a soft sort of cackle, giving his sensei a wink with half flirtatious as hands went into his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels like a habit. Either way, he waved it off, the whole ’I’m sorry you had to see me and my friends die for entertainment.’ And it was all simply dismissed with a amused, pointed, "Aa~h, sensei. It’s alright, hm? I -- I mean, everyone dies. Right? So, that shouldn’t make much of a different." His words were always a jumble of bullshit, and trying to hard to grasp that metaphysical ghost called empathy that was always out of reach.

Fingers pulled out a cigarette, and he handed one to Yosuke, lips coiled around the small smoking instrument and he lit it -- an inhale of toxin tar and a low exhale in Yosuke’s visage. That was when he notice the massive bloodshot-ness that was Yosuke’s eyes, and perhaps it was a sudden surge of bewilderment that had Shimazu lean in and look at them, "Ha ha ha. Don’t cry anymore, it makes you look like a girl..." But even then, at the small amount of patronizing comfort, there was something in his voice that indicated a certain desire to simply throw Yosuke down. But instead, he reached over to the coffee table and took out a tissue before dabbing it underneath Yosuke’s eyes.

"But it makes you good-looking. Looking like a girl I mean. It suits you." The flirtation was obvious by the time Shimazu dropped the tissue onto the studio apartment floor, and he turned on his heel. Lips pursed, and he kneeled down and looked under his bed to pull out a small sachet of different coloured pills with little cute designs on them, "Sen~sei --" He hummed in a sing-song tune, "These will make you feel better, I promise."

[waitingfora]

It took him a moment to register just what Shimazu had said. His eyebrows came together at the same time that his head shook violently, looking more that he had caught a whiff of something nasty than a reaction to the rather strange statement. "What? How could you say something like that?!" His hands had reached out try to grab onto his friend's shoulders to shake him and ask what it was that made him think that it wasn't much different. They halted in the air as he realized that it wouldn't have been much different. The Shadow inside of him had tried to kill people that he cared about; it wasn't what he wanted to do and it was all a game to it. His shoulders slumped just a little as he lowered his hands to his side. "But it was different. Because no one should be forced into a situation like that."

"Hey. I do not look like a girl." Yosuke allowed a moment of looking reasonably offended by the remark, before realizing that he was picking on the wrong portion of what Shimazu was saying. Right, he really needed to stop crying and start getting a backbone. Maybe it wasn't about hiding these weak feelings but trying to overcome them a little. He plucked the offered cigarette from his friend's hand, but didn't quite feel like smoking. It felt like a lot of spark was out of his system and he was just tired. But he wouldn't say that it was a mistake to visit. It wasn't. This was good for him.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, chuckle-head." It wasn't so much that he didn't notice that Shimazu was flirting with him, just that he always felt guilty about it. Not certain if he was stringing him along as it was that the guy would be something like a substitute. Still worried about the thought if he was gay or just playing people 'cause it was something fun to do. His hand came up to scratch the side of his head as he hoped that he could come up with an answer soon. "Hm?" He turned to stare at the bag of pills with designs on them. "What are they like pain-killers?"

Yosuke did have a headache. Mostly from thought and wanting to be as up-front with Shimazu as he could. But he remembered that he was -- when he was under the influence of the silver liquid, at least -- and his friend still said that it was fine. Was it really fine?

[castrater]

For once, Shimazu was as a matter of fact silent -- it wasn’t that he didn’t understand what Yosuke was saying. But it was difficult to process with his sort of messed up programming. Instead he simply studied Yosuke with a sullen sort of morose look, pointing at Yosuke with a judging sort of look, "Ah? I can say everything very easily, sensei -- you know. It is called impulses, ha ha -- you have no idea how easy everything is if you let your brain run off." And what he said were true, nothing like the typical lying that would vomit from his mouth in harsh arrays of jokingly volumes, instead he continued to speak as though he was mockingly (but tenderly) chiding Yosuke, like the other was some child, "You know. Kids are made to fight all the time, hm? So why is this any different, because you and your friends were involved? Well. You’re not that special."

Even as he sat on the bed with his legs crossed, holding up the pilled with lips creased. His gaze unwavering as a wry smirk pulled the corner of his lips upwards and he gave Yosuke a cant of his head, "Heh. Too bad sensei -- I, I mean. You not being able to do anything about it. Because, because if you were special, then you would have been able too..." The words themselves had the undercurrent of cruelty in them, looming in the air even if the tone was almost good-natured, almost happy in their lecturing galore, but Yosuke was rather easy to read.

"I --" A pause, then a high-pitched laugh as though he was laughing at his own stupidity, "Don’t worry sensei! You’re much better than me -- I, I would have killed myself within a second if I was there!" But Shimazu was a perfect liar, laying everything under a wave of laughs and jokes and he looked up at Yosuke before wiggling the sachet of pilled in-between his thumb and forefinger, "Yep! They ah -- they’re quick."

[waitingfora]

That did sort of hurt. To be told that he wasn't special. Not that he wanted to get a big head about being chosen to be murdered for everyone to see. But, he hadn't really thought about it that much. Was he actually happy that he was chosen? Like there was something interesting about him that should be put on display? His eyebrows came together as he thought that was a horrible thought to think. It was all random; there was no reason for him to be picked out of anyone else. His hand came up to press against his forehead as he felt that he was starting to sweat a little. Only he was fine. His skin even felt cool under his fingers. Maybe, it was just a feeling of disgust about some things that were ringing quite true for Yosuke. More stuff that he hadn't had the chance to think about and properly analyze.

He did look up at the statement that Shimazu wasn't as good as he was. Couldn't help but feel a little happy about that. Was he still hung up about such things? Apparently so if his chest and spirit felt a swelling feeling of pride. Yosuke felt sicker with himself. No, he wasn't going to be that kind of person any more. He wasn't just going to use his friend in order to feel better about himself. It was about time that he started to put a few things where his big-fat-mouth was.

A deep breath was taken as he decided all of this. Maybe it came to him, because he had just came back from such a traumatic situation. Maybe it was just the kick and light bulb that he needed to realize that he was just a terrible person and needed to start being an actual human being for once. But, he let the silence after Shimazu go on for a time, before saying -- finally truly acknowledging, "Hey, you like me ... don't you? Like as in ... like-like... right?" It may not have seemed like much of a grand thing as far as revelations or statements went. But he was starting to feel like a goddamn girl with how he had been pussy-footing around all of this. Either way, as far as he wanted it to be solid statement; his face was red and his gaze fixed on the ground. Maybe, he should have just taken the pill offered and blamed anything on reacting funny to the headache medication.

[castrater]

Well -- Of course Yosuke was special; in that special way of being a obvious idiot that even someone as goofball-ish as Shimazu knew. And hey, there was always that gesture of simply licking ass to reassure, even if they were all lies, but oh well. What was Shimazu going to do? Nothing, really. Nothing but just sit there and look at Yosuke. He wrinkled his nose through the uncomfortable silence and leaned back against the wall in his sitting position before letting out a snort and tossing away the bag carelessly on the floor -- not directing at Yosuke -- and then he folded his arms and placed his hands behind his head, flexing his fingers. All these tiny little gestures harvested a sort of mischievous and almost sinister intent, really. But it was hardly noticeable.

And then he had heard Yosuke’s words --

-- ’No’, was the immediate answer that went through his head. But Shimazu was a liar and he could only sit up and look at Yosuke, faux-baffled by the question, and perhaps a little sheepish himself as he let out a soft laugh, scratching the bridge of his nose. In no time at all, Shimazu would have said that he wouldn’t mind ripping Yosuke to shreds. But this little game was getting pretty interesting, right? A BR loser that needed some TLC?

"Ah. Sensei. You shouldn’t say those things!" He laughed, "Ha ha ha, I -- I might get the wrong idea, you know." And he slumped back against the wall, a little wide-eyed, a little tilt of his head and he pulled a knee to his chest. Not because he was uncomfortable -- actually it was the complete opposite, Shimazu was utterly and completely casual. "So, I like-like you now? Well, maybe. Why? It’s not a bad thing, is it?"

[waitingfora]

The wrong idea? Was I wrong? Maybe Shimazu was just really friendly and he was reading into things. The guy had just gotten out of a psych-ward without having to actually be there. But, it was just the way that his friend was sitting now that made him think otherwise. Made him think that maybe he wasn't wrong. Like he was just as embarrassed as Yosuke was about having this conversation. It wasn't like he had gotten over all his feelings and thoughts that brought about anxiety in relationships. He still wasn't sure about if he had really conquered his Shadow or just calmed it down. A lot of things that just needed answers, but he really thought that maybe he should stop worrying about these sort of things. He "survived" the Battle Royale -- regardless of the stupid shit that he did -- so maybe he could survive being just a little vulnerable and honest without making a joke.

"Well, no. I guess not. I mean, it's not really a guess, is it?" Yosuke thought about sitting down. Maybe sitting next to Shimazu, but wondered if that would be 'too soon' or 'invasion of his personal space.' Funny since the guy never really seemed to mind someone doing so, but he didn't want to push it right now. He wanted to be understanding and nice. Besides, he was still a teenager and the idea of going through school without anyone seemed just a little bit tragic. Yes, related to appearances, too, though he wondered if he could or would actually say that aloud. His face grew red as he suddenly wasn't sure what to say and what it was he was thinking. This really seemed quite sudden. Spur of the moment. But weren't all his thoughts and actions at times.

"'Cause I like you." He should be more loud about this; shouldn't be so unsure and embarrassed about admitting it. But it wasn't 'manly' or even remotely 'guy-ish' to admit something so tragically girl.

[castrater]

Wow. And just after you were killed too! -- It was the sort of mockery that ran through the psychopath’s mind that made him let out one of the most idiotic sounds one could hear from Shimazu, a sort of "-- E~h!?" That was between mid-shock, flattery, and perhaps just complete disgust, but it was the middle of all three that was more indicated than the rest. It was complete impulsive how Shimazu leaned back against the wall and drew a knee to his chest. Fingers flexed outward and were placed over his visage, the palm covering the impish smile on his lips as the rest of his expression that was shown through the spaces of his fingers were -- ah -- flustered -- ? Perhaps, for the lack of a better word. Or perhaps he was simply trying to hold his breath to cease any laughter that came through. Which failed, only slightly, because the thing that came out of his tense throat the next moment was a hiccup that jerked his frame around, and went complete ignored at the next moment.

I guess my ass-licking paid off. "Ha ha ha. A--are you joking, sensei? That. That -- ah, that isn’t very nice...what if I take you seriously?" Yeah right! "That would really hurt me..." And each of these mumbled words that were disjointed between the thoughts in his head and the light breathing with a sort of awkward fidgety coo that flowed from his mouth every so often were matched with a heavy scratching of the side of his head. Every one of these gestures were practiced: the way he lowered his head in embarrassment, how his arms enclosed around his stomach, how his legs were crossed. All of them almost seemed pained, and acted well enough to look true.

"Hum. So. so. ah. What now -- ?" He looked up, his front teeth chewing at his bottom lip, looking at Yosuke with a sort of timidness and before long he regained half of his composure. "I -- ha, ha, ha. I mean -- "

[waitingfora]

Wow. It sort of seemed like he had been picking on Shimazu just a little too much in the past. How long had he known the guy anyway? His head tipped back a bit as he really couldn't remember the months that he'd known him, but he always felt bad for him. Someone that had a shitter life than he did. Yosuke didn't think that his life was so bad now, but he really couldn't imagine how it was for Shimazu. People still thinking that he was some psycho. No one looking out for who killed his real family. It really had to be terrible. Maybe it was all pity or maybe it was finally his decision to actually be there for the guy. Seemed like he needed a real friend and not someone who would just use him. Also the decision to be something more.

His lips pressed together in a thin line as he felt his face bloom in a very red shade. It was embarrassing to think about and embarrassing to even have to admit. Didn't that mean that he would be pretty terrible as anything for Shimazu. His hand set on the back of his neck as he let out a defeated sigh. Defeated as he had to admit that he was always going to be something of an asshole to his friends; what a thing to have to accept. He walked over so that he could take a seat next to Shimazu; drawing his knees up in the same pose and position that the other was in. It didn't seem right to have to talk to him while he was standing over him.

"I dunno. I mean, I guess, I guess you have to accept. Right?" For a guy who never even had a girlfriend, he was lost as to what was supposed to happen now. Extremely and utterly lost.

[castrater]

Shimazu’s gaze followed Yosuke’s every moment to when the other’s went to sit on the bed next to him. It was a unintentional gesture too, how Shimazu pulled hi knee closer to his knee, hands running through his own air faking all that beautiful beautiful emotional that could be classified as flattered or just plain intimate when deep down he had to keep himself from laughing. Even that was shown through with the movements of his abdomen and chest convulsing against his leg. Then, he let out a deep breath, and rolled his head against the wall with a friendly-flirtatious glance to Yosuke, lips pulled back into a smile and eyes narrowed as words started to seep through the corners of his lips.

" -- Accept it...?" He murmured with a muffled voice that once again was breathed against his knee. If one was to look close, his face was slightly heated, but perhaps that was because he had to bury this laughter all the way down to his gut. And the next sound that came out was something akin to that of a hiccup.

Accept it, hm? Well. Not like Yosuke gave him much of a choice. But Shimazu wasn’t going to refuse, and he only gave his head a slight shake as he shuffled closer to his sensei until their shoulders brushed. Like some sort of high-school boy experimental foreplay. "Ah -- alright sensei. I -- haha, if. If you want then -- I. I mean, if you want I don’t mind..." He nodded sharply, looking at Yosuke and thought of all this affection and intimacy that was piling into a ball that he could fit into his hand and just simply crush.

[waitingfora]

His hands were starting to feel just a little sweaty. He alternated between interlacing them and holding them out in front of him like some strange stretching pose, in order to get the feeling to go away. It was really embarrassing to have this sort of conversation. He wished that he could fast-forward to the part where they would agree to be dating. His head jerked up slightly as he felt himself turn a bright red. Closing his eyes, he wondered if this was really okay to be reacting to such words in a juvenile manner. Forget the fact that he was seventeen, he really should try to be a little more together about this. Like guys on movies. But he just was drowning at the moment.

"Well, it's not just me, I mean." His head tipped back as he thought that he was pretty much asking Shimazu if he wanted to be gay with him. How did that actually work? Just because the guy was really touchy-feely didn't mean much, right? Or was he reading into it? Why was he coming back to this? Because he was feeling like a complete doofus and just wanted to just prove his own commitment. Sitting next to him was all right, but he hadn't quite said the words, right? He chewed on his bottom lip and looked to the wall -- this was all very girly and it was best to just man up. Ignore the twists that were curling around in his stomach as well. Anxiety about being wrong and months of question who he was.

Yosuke took in a deep breath, one that rose his shoulders a little. Pressing his lips together, he closed his eyes as he thought if this was the right thing to do. He supposed that he had made worst decisions this year, and that was not really fair to say that this was a bad decision. It was one that would be good for him in the long run. Finally deciding on something that would not end badly for everyone. His face was still red and hands still sweaty, but he at least felt a little more sure about his decision. Nodding to himself, he turned to lightly kiss Shimazu. Meant to go for his cheek, but ended up brushing his lips. It was brief and quick, but made his face even redder as he turned back to stare at his shoes.

Just waiting.

[castrater]

It was -- ah. It was a bit easy to read Yosuke. Really. And, and. Maybe he was serious, right? It had Shimazu let out a low wordless coo really, a bit on the nervous side with some flirtation mixed in, lingering along his lips like drool as he drew back even further. Really, it was easier with girls, Shimazu thought. A few low words about how good their ass looked and thirty minutes later their legs would be spread and Shimazu would be looming over them with a chainsaw. And, oh -- it was a nice thought that distracted him from the hesitance that Yosuke evoked. But he shook his head quickly, scratching his scalp a little fanatically as though in deep dark confusion and.

And that is when he felt the lips on his. Chase, cute -- etc, etc. it was alright in the sense of a virgin kiss and Shimazu quirked his head at Yosuke -- almost withdrawing himself, shuffling away as he let the low words emerge from his mouth, disjointed and quivering, " -- Uh. Sensei, um... are you..." Serious? Well, it didn’t really matter because this was all just fun and games for Shimazu as he settled back on his knees and shook his head once again, "Hm~m! Okay sensei. Let me have a go." The words were quick in themselves, and a little confident not to mention. But there was still a faint hint of reluctance somewhere in there. Perhaps it was because this was just too hilarious. But some people had to laugh at the stupid things they do once in a while, right?

Shimazu inhaled deeply and kneeled on the bed, giving yet another sharp nod as he slide up to Yosuke. He took the other’s hands in his own for a moment and placed them on his own hips as though he was motioning an object. Then with his own unoccupied hands, he placed them on Yosuke’s shoulders and pressed their foreheads together, " -- Ready? I’ll be gentle. Just for you." The coo flirtatious, of course, and he tilted his head, closed his eyes, exhaled slightly and just like all those shows about ’Finding your inner homo’, Shimazu pressed his lips against Yosuke’s. Well, that wasn’t bad, was it?

[waitingfora]

Ah, that was all right. Yosuke canted his head slightly as he was more or less going over the very chaste kiss that he gave Shimazu. There were a lot of thoughts going on his head at once; wondering about the cramping in his stomach was totally normal or if it was just nerves. Just admitting that he was in a relationship wasn't the same as committing to anything else. His eyes drifted upward to the ceiling as he thought that was somewhat half-assing it, but that didn't mean he was just going to suddenly -- ah, his face went red. There were a lot of things that he really had to think through, but it was good for him that he at least got through the first kiss. First kiss with Shimazu, anyway. All right, if the relationship was going to work, he really had to work harder on being a little more attentive and.

Hello, my hands are being taken. He turned his head quickly back to his friend -- boyfriend? that's really an embarrassing sort of description, but what was the best one? -- and remembered that he was waiting for his response rather than just going through a lot of confusing thoughts and trying to pat himself on the back for admitting as much as he did. His hands were now resting on Shimazu's hips; resting there more like something dead than anything else. Face still red and expression just a little -- it wasn't panicked, but it was just nervous.

The air really did seem to get just a little hotter. Uncertain if that was just from nervousness or hormones, but he did lean just a little forward when Shimazu pressed his forehead against his. Just to show that he was willing, that he wasn't going to keep being a jerk about this. The words weren't said that they were now going out, but it really seemed like they didn't need to be; regardless if it would make him feel like it was official or not. Amazing that he could even keep thinking when he was suddenly kissed. Eyes widened just a bit as his brain finally alerted him to the idea that he was kissing; this was kissing. His grip lightly tightened around Shimazu's hips -- trying to pull him closer? Maybe.

Yosuke did try to deepen the kiss by moving a little closer, but would give small jerks backwards like he felt he was being just a little too forward. The sum total of kissing both received and given came to a total of three. It wasn't like he was some master, but there really wasn't any reason that had to be known. Either way, it was a nice feeling -- kissing Shimazu. Once he got over all his nervousness and anxiety. Well, no, both of them were still there, but it still felt right. As right as he could get, anyway.

[castrater]

Well. That is what it’s like to kiss a guy. Not to say that Shimazu had never kissed a guy -- ah, actually no. That was a little bit of a lie. But that was alright, Shimazu was one for deceit and lying. And if Yosuke had been trying to justify himself by not being a jerk anymore, than Shimazu had been burying his boyfriend under six feet of lies just in return. But oh well, it wasn’t his own fault really. It was just how the psychopath was programmed. His own thoughts were a clusterfuck of laughter and intentions that were tugging from the back of mind. And, haha, well. He wouldn’t let that on. He wouldn’t want to chase his boyfriend away simply because he was a necrosadist, not now, not when he was this close anyway.

And even so, his thoughts continues, his movements unintentional as his lips mirrored the motions of Yosuke’s, letting his tongue slip out the slightest and muffle the lowest of laughter against the other’s flesh. A deep inhale, though when the other’s reluctance of pulling and jerking away, Shimazu’s limbs tensed before arms surrounded Yosuke’s neck, pulling him closer as he tilted his head. And ah, his face was lightly flushed as his eyes were closed. This was completely different from a girl, but Shimazu didn’t mind, much.

He exhaled deeply against Yosuke’s lips, eyes drooping, and his hold on the other went lax for a brief moment. Shoulders were hunched and, well, that was kind of cute. It was just a thought to himself as he pulled away. Not because he didn’t want it, but because he was at least considerate enough to believe that Yosuke would like to take it slow. After all, the guy was a virgin, and see? Shimazu could be nice and thoughtful. He pulled back and sat back down, turning his gaze away and rolling his lips over one another, sliding his tongue over them before puffing out his cheeks; looking at everything but Yosuke. Another low exhale which emitted a somewhat humorous and idiotic noise as his cheeks were stretched into a smirk.

Fingers were flexed out, the joints popping and cracking as he drew his knees up -- almost as though he was suddenly succumbed to nervousness. But it was nothing but a sort of restlessly that made him jitter the slightest with noises such as snorts of laugher that escaped his mouth every once in a while. Within a few moments, however, he scratched the back of his scalp and moved closer to Yosuke, taking the other’s hand in his own and quirked up one side of his mouth, and said in a low coo, "Sooo -- ?"

[waitingfora]

For his credit, Yosuke didn't suddenly gasp at the feeling of Shimazu's tongue against his lips. His eyes did widen like that would help him see something going on below his nose. It allowed him to see more of the other's face. Which in and of itself made his face turn into a deeper shade of red; something he thought was not possible given how heated the skin already felt. There was a pleasant feeling circulating through his body, easing away all the anxiety and nervousness that had started to pile in his gut. Something like a nice balm that made him think that this relationship would work out. He, of course, was just a little drunk on the kiss and would later tell himself that it was silly to say that he would be able to tell how everything in this new frontier would pan out just from their second kiss. (Though, he wondered if the first even counted, but he supposed that it did since it was the first step.)

When it ended, he was careful not to let himself fall into any girly response. Other than worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. He wondered if he was right to think that he could still taste Shimazu or if that was just his imagination. His hands came up to press against his face, rubbing the skin hard so that he would just stop blushing. This was a pivotal moment and it would work a lot better if he wasn't as red as his hair. But now that he felt his skin "calming down," he wondered if it was all right to set his hands back where they were on Shimazu's hips. A soft, defeated sort of sound came out. Everything seemed just unnecessarily awkward by his brain and own actions -- and he was just asked a question.

"What?" Automatic answer before he thought he realized what it was that Shimazu was asking. "Oh. It was nice." His head gave a slight cant as he felt that was not the right way to respond to such a question; in the same manner if he was asked if he liked a movie or not. "What I mean to say is …" Ah, what did he mean to say? And he equally wondered just how things came to be at this point.

It might have just all the emotions running high of "surviving" the Battle Royale; the idea that he really hurt his friend in having him think he was dead. And thinking about how he had been just a grade-A asshole to Shimazu. Sure, he had learned to treat Shika, Nill, and the others better. But what did that mean if he still was acting like this to one person? No reason that he should blame it on anything. This sort of chain of events would have happened eventually. Just the feeling of dying and reuniting with people quickened the process. Maybe, he was just trying to justify his actions up to this point. It wasn't a lie that he would probably never quite get over Shika, but Shika deserved someone better than him. And Yosuke needed to stop jerking Shimazu around.

A long pause, before he finally asked. "Can we go steady?"