things change and they stay the same
DAMN IT EVERYTHING I JUST TYPED GOT ERASED, URRRRRGH.
The basic jist was that Mare's entry really resonates with me. Before I met Nate especially, but even now that we are pretty seriously "together," I feel lost and have no idea what I'm doing with my life or where I'm going or who I'm going to do it with. I am happy right now where I am; I love Nate, I love our apartment and living together, my new job is going well and I am making friends with my coworkers, but in the back of my mind, I know I don't want to live in Worcester forever, I don't want to work at Starbucks for long. I find myself reluctant to do the hard things to set up our apartment (putting together Nate's desk, hanging up paintings/pictures/mirrors, etc.) because I'm like, well how long do I actually want to live here? Nate and I both have dreams of moving to California, and both have dreams of travelling the world and living off the land and seeing everyting and meeting new people...It's a big shock to me how much having a "real" job interferes with my actual life >_>..... I was working 25ish hours a week in Newtown, but now I'm working 40 hours a week, and it's like, every day I get home and I'm so tired that I never want to do anything except make dinner and watch LOST (started season 4 last night, Nate is beyond hooked.). It just makes me sad because I don't want to be a boring person (/couple) that only hangs out at home together. I know this is awk, but not drinking sort of makes "going out" hard. Brenden, who is my new biffle at work, has invited us to the bar a few times but we didn't end up going for various reasons. I don't know, it's just hard to meet new people when I feel like I'm working all the time.
But in general, right now, I am happy. Every morning, I wake up and see Nate and I am so happy that we are finally together with no restrictions (my roommates/living far apart). Also, I feel like we fight/are upset with each other so much less! It's like eliminating the distance and other erroneous factors has really allowed us to really relax and enjoy each other in a new and exciting way. Our apartment is really great, though like I said, it still needs a lot of work/setting up. And work really is going well, I feel like I really fit in with the other people that I work with, and Brenden has been really awesome and we have a lot of fun at work. We're doing a "Secret" Santa at work and Brenden and I happened to pick each other! LOL! And then didn't keep it a secret...haha. So we're gonna go to Savers together and just buy stuff for each other, yay. That should be fun. I also really need to get on buying Christmas gifts for everybody else!!!
I'm glad I am finally updating, I will try to do it more because it's a good way to keep in touch/up to date with you guys, but I also feel like it helps my mental health.
The basic jist was that Mare's entry really resonates with me. Before I met Nate especially, but even now that we are pretty seriously "together," I feel lost and have no idea what I'm doing with my life or where I'm going or who I'm going to do it with. I am happy right now where I am; I love Nate, I love our apartment and living together, my new job is going well and I am making friends with my coworkers, but in the back of my mind, I know I don't want to live in Worcester forever, I don't want to work at Starbucks for long. I find myself reluctant to do the hard things to set up our apartment (putting together Nate's desk, hanging up paintings/pictures/mirrors, etc.) because I'm like, well how long do I actually want to live here? Nate and I both have dreams of moving to California, and both have dreams of travelling the world and living off the land and seeing everyting and meeting new people...It's a big shock to me how much having a "real" job interferes with my actual life >_>..... I was working 25ish hours a week in Newtown, but now I'm working 40 hours a week, and it's like, every day I get home and I'm so tired that I never want to do anything except make dinner and watch LOST (started season 4 last night, Nate is beyond hooked.). It just makes me sad because I don't want to be a boring person (/couple) that only hangs out at home together. I know this is awk, but not drinking sort of makes "going out" hard. Brenden, who is my new biffle at work, has invited us to the bar a few times but we didn't end up going for various reasons. I don't know, it's just hard to meet new people when I feel like I'm working all the time.
But in general, right now, I am happy. Every morning, I wake up and see Nate and I am so happy that we are finally together with no restrictions (my roommates/living far apart). Also, I feel like we fight/are upset with each other so much less! It's like eliminating the distance and other erroneous factors has really allowed us to really relax and enjoy each other in a new and exciting way. Our apartment is really great, though like I said, it still needs a lot of work/setting up. And work really is going well, I feel like I really fit in with the other people that I work with, and Brenden has been really awesome and we have a lot of fun at work. We're doing a "Secret" Santa at work and Brenden and I happened to pick each other! LOL! And then didn't keep it a secret...haha. So we're gonna go to Savers together and just buy stuff for each other, yay. That should be fun. I also really need to get on buying Christmas gifts for everybody else!!!
I'm glad I am finally updating, I will try to do it more because it's a good way to keep in touch/up to date with you guys, but I also feel like it helps my mental health.