Summary of my replies to reviews for "Return to Romance" Chapter 23
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate it and it was so encouraging to hear from people!
Yami, Kaiba and feelings: Yami is quietly trying to work his way through this and figure out what he wants and needs. But Kaiba doesn't have the same kind of support and he’s been working overtime trying to brush aside his feelings. In this chapter he finally got to the point where that was no longer working, so I could see them crashing in on him.
I wanted to show Kaiba feeling real pain. Kaiba spends so much time pushing aside or denying his feelings that when he’s finally reached the point where he can't avoid them it ends up being even more intense. And I think with Kaiba, everything - his past, his repeated abandonment, his fight with Yami - are all mashing together for him.A lot of this story is about growing up and discovering identity - and as even teenage CEOs and ex-pharaohs are learning, it’s not an easy process.
Yami, Kaiba and Yugi: I was really trying to think of what it would mean to Yami if he wasn't like Yugi, and what his fears were. And it occurred to me that being like Yugi was a safety net - or a set of training wheels for him. Yami totally lost it because he was so guilty over Yugi, and also I think because Yugi wasn't there to ground him. Whatever Yugi is in terms of training wheels or safety nets: Kaiba is the opposite of that. Obviously, it's something Yami finds attractive, but maybe it wasn't something he felt ready to commit to.
Tamashiro and Mokuba: I wanted to create an OC that would add to the story and fill a (minor) role without being intrusive. I see Mokuba as being someone who hides behind an innocent look when it serves his purpose, unlike his brother who is pretty direct. One thing that struck me in the Noa’s Arc scenes about Kaiba taking over Kaiba corporation is that Mokuba managed to trick Gozaburo into believing that Mokuba was on his side - and that he could safely leave that final 2% in Mokuba’s hands. When I sat back and thought about it, this says a lot about Mokuba’s skill at misdirection!
Mokuba: Mokuba often acts as a support for his brother, but I really wanted to write him in this chapter as an angry, confused, hurt and scared 12-year old. I don’t think Mokuba understands how his brother feels about Yami or even what Yami was trying to say to him about why they’d fought. He’s 12 years old and right now all he sees is that his brother is hurt and he feels like that’s Yami’s fault. I think that Mokuba is simply too young and immature to realize how unfair he’s being in acting as if Yami’s only value as a person is whether or not he makes Kaiba happy.
Yugi: I have to admit that it feels almost disloyal to write Yugi being anything less than perfect because I admire him tremendously. But one thing I’ve noticed is that all of Yugi’s friends totally and completely are on board with his definitions of friendship. I’m not sure that Yugi has ever had to think about why someone might feel differently. For example, Yugi keeps insisting that Kaiba is his friend, but there’s no sign that Yugi ever wonders why Kaiba disagrees so vehemently or that he considers whether Kaiba might have developed a different definition of friendship. So I think it might be natural for Yugi to assume that being in a relationship means feeling the way he does, without stopping to consider that Yami’s needs might be different.
Internal conflicts: This is my first story in years that doesn’t have an outside villain - and it’s been interesting (and much more difficult than I thought it would be) to write a story where everyone - even when giving terrible advice - is well-meaning and the conflicts and tension are all, to a certain extent, self-created.
I wanted to write a story that showed how, even as these characters were coming to care for each other, their issues and lack of communication have the potential to push them apart. I think their fight might have been something that needed to happen before they would stop and think. Yami needed time to puzzle out what he wants for himself and how he feels - as opposed to how he thinks he should feel. At the same time, Kaiba needed to be put in a situation where denying his feelings simply didn’t work any longer. Until that happened, I don’t think they could move forward.
Sugoroku and Yugi as confidants: I think Sugoroku is the only one with enough experience to be able to help Yami put things in perspective. And while Yugi is clearly confused about why Yami wants Kaiba (or even if this is a good thing) he also wants to support him.
Kaiba and Mokuba: I think Kaiba is so caught up with trying - and being unable to - brush aside how he’s feeling that he hasn’t really thought about how this has all affected Mokuba. That’s possible something he would avoid even acknowledging because it would both be further proof of how much they both miss Yami and also for Kaiba further proof that he has once again let Mokuba down.
The link to Chapter 24 at FFNet is here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11040748/24/Return-to-Romance
The link to Chapter 24 at AO3 is here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3341984/chapters/17815606
This entry was originally posted at http://www.dreamwidth.org/12345.html There are
comments on the original post.
Yami, Kaiba and feelings: Yami is quietly trying to work his way through this and figure out what he wants and needs. But Kaiba doesn't have the same kind of support and he’s been working overtime trying to brush aside his feelings. In this chapter he finally got to the point where that was no longer working, so I could see them crashing in on him.
I wanted to show Kaiba feeling real pain. Kaiba spends so much time pushing aside or denying his feelings that when he’s finally reached the point where he can't avoid them it ends up being even more intense. And I think with Kaiba, everything - his past, his repeated abandonment, his fight with Yami - are all mashing together for him.A lot of this story is about growing up and discovering identity - and as even teenage CEOs and ex-pharaohs are learning, it’s not an easy process.
Yami, Kaiba and Yugi: I was really trying to think of what it would mean to Yami if he wasn't like Yugi, and what his fears were. And it occurred to me that being like Yugi was a safety net - or a set of training wheels for him. Yami totally lost it because he was so guilty over Yugi, and also I think because Yugi wasn't there to ground him. Whatever Yugi is in terms of training wheels or safety nets: Kaiba is the opposite of that. Obviously, it's something Yami finds attractive, but maybe it wasn't something he felt ready to commit to.
Tamashiro and Mokuba: I wanted to create an OC that would add to the story and fill a (minor) role without being intrusive. I see Mokuba as being someone who hides behind an innocent look when it serves his purpose, unlike his brother who is pretty direct. One thing that struck me in the Noa’s Arc scenes about Kaiba taking over Kaiba corporation is that Mokuba managed to trick Gozaburo into believing that Mokuba was on his side - and that he could safely leave that final 2% in Mokuba’s hands. When I sat back and thought about it, this says a lot about Mokuba’s skill at misdirection!
Mokuba: Mokuba often acts as a support for his brother, but I really wanted to write him in this chapter as an angry, confused, hurt and scared 12-year old. I don’t think Mokuba understands how his brother feels about Yami or even what Yami was trying to say to him about why they’d fought. He’s 12 years old and right now all he sees is that his brother is hurt and he feels like that’s Yami’s fault. I think that Mokuba is simply too young and immature to realize how unfair he’s being in acting as if Yami’s only value as a person is whether or not he makes Kaiba happy.
Yugi: I have to admit that it feels almost disloyal to write Yugi being anything less than perfect because I admire him tremendously. But one thing I’ve noticed is that all of Yugi’s friends totally and completely are on board with his definitions of friendship. I’m not sure that Yugi has ever had to think about why someone might feel differently. For example, Yugi keeps insisting that Kaiba is his friend, but there’s no sign that Yugi ever wonders why Kaiba disagrees so vehemently or that he considers whether Kaiba might have developed a different definition of friendship. So I think it might be natural for Yugi to assume that being in a relationship means feeling the way he does, without stopping to consider that Yami’s needs might be different.
Internal conflicts: This is my first story in years that doesn’t have an outside villain - and it’s been interesting (and much more difficult than I thought it would be) to write a story where everyone - even when giving terrible advice - is well-meaning and the conflicts and tension are all, to a certain extent, self-created.
I wanted to write a story that showed how, even as these characters were coming to care for each other, their issues and lack of communication have the potential to push them apart. I think their fight might have been something that needed to happen before they would stop and think. Yami needed time to puzzle out what he wants for himself and how he feels - as opposed to how he thinks he should feel. At the same time, Kaiba needed to be put in a situation where denying his feelings simply didn’t work any longer. Until that happened, I don’t think they could move forward.
Sugoroku and Yugi as confidants: I think Sugoroku is the only one with enough experience to be able to help Yami put things in perspective. And while Yugi is clearly confused about why Yami wants Kaiba (or even if this is a good thing) he also wants to support him.
Kaiba and Mokuba: I think Kaiba is so caught up with trying - and being unable to - brush aside how he’s feeling that he hasn’t really thought about how this has all affected Mokuba. That’s possible something he would avoid even acknowledging because it would both be further proof of how much they both miss Yami and also for Kaiba further proof that he has once again let Mokuba down.
The link to Chapter 24 at FFNet is here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11040748/24/Return-to-Romance
The link to Chapter 24 at AO3 is here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3341984/chapters/17815606
This entry was originally posted at http://www.dreamwidth.org/12345.html There are
comments on the original post.