Summary of my replies to reviews for "Return to Romance" Chapter 24
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate it and it was so encouraging to hear from people!
The pick-up: I could see Kaiba doing something stupid like starting to pick up a complete stranger to prove Yami could be replaced. But I think realizing he could succeed (at least with coffee guy) also made him realize how much he wanted Yami, not a random substitute who looked a little like him. Because Kaiba doesn’t really want to get close to anyone, even physically, so I think that when it became obvious his plan was working, he’d end up recoiling from it because he doesn’t want to prove that he doesn’t care, he doesn’t want some random stranger, he wants Yami, pure and simple. But I could see Kaiba blaming the coffee guy for not being Yami. So the earlier Kaiba came to that realization the better for everyone - including coffee guy!
Basically, Kaiba and screwing up emotionally go together!
Kaiba and isolation: When writing this it really struck me how alone Kaiba is. He literally has no one to turn to (Mokuba loves him, but he's his younger brother) in canon - Yami actually comes closest to being someone Kaiba confides in - and in this story what he needs to confide is how he feels about the idea that his relationship with Yami is over - so he's also lost the closest thing he has to a confidant.
I think Kaiba’s automatic assumption would be that their relationship can’t be fixed. Even though he has a better understanding of what went wrong and how he contributed to it, Yami still walked out. I think that had the same impact as the same finality as his parents dying or being dumped at the orphanage or Gozaburo jumping out of a window. Given Kaiba’s history of being abandoned, I don’t think it’s crossed his mind that Yami had the same regrets and could have the same desire to try again, that there could still be a different ending.
And I think Kaiba would really have to be slammed face to face with the fact that he misses Yami before he’d accept it.
Mokuba: On the day Seto and Yami fought, Mokuba had been hoping that Yami’s arrival would make his brother feel better - so I think, even more than Kaiba, who expected things to go wrong, Mokuba feels betrayed by Yami’s actions. From Mokuba’s point of view, he wanted Yami to fix everything and then he didn't.
Mokuba honestly believes that he is supporting Kaiba. But because he’s too young to really understand how his brother feels - much less what Yami was trying to tell him about why he left - Mokuba can’t really provide the support his brother needs in sorting out his feelings. Especially since Kaiba hides what he's feeling from Mokuba a lot. But Mokuba also wants to make his brother feel better, and I think Tamashiro helped him see that it was important to let his brother know what Yami had said.
Fight and finding out that Yami didn’t know about KC: I think it was important for Kaiba to find out that Yami wasn't blaming him for old KC business - because he also wasn't going to start to wonder why Yami had left as long as he thought he knew the answer.
I could see Yami and Kaiba coming to care for each other deeply. But I could also see how their own individual issues could keep them from acknowledging those feelings, and how their own inexperience with communicating or expressing their emotions would lead to problems. So for me, the fight was an intrinsic part of the story, and something that had to happen in order for them to take a look at whether the path they were on was likely to take them anyway they wanted to go.
When writing something as dramatic as a fight, it was important tha have the emotions feel as if they developed naturally rather than as something created for extra drama.
Yami: Yami believed he was destined to go to the after-life and I don’t think he ever questioned that. So I wanted to write a story where he got a chance to live - but then had to reconcile that with losing his sense of destiny and finding his place in a new world. And I wanted Kaiba to be drawn to help and drawn to Yami without wanting to question why - because he wasn’t ready for the answers. Most of all I wanted the emotions of this confused couple to feel real.
Note to Guest: Thank you so much! Yes, the sooner Kaiba figured out he wanted Yami and not some chance pick-up the better for everyone, including coffee guy! And yeah, finding out that Yami didn’t betray his confidence from a third party had to help.
The link to Chapter 25 at FFNet is here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11040748/25/Return-to-Romance
The link to Chapter 25 at AO3 is here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3341984/chapters/18429187
This entry was originally posted at http://www.dreamwidth.org/12345.html There are
comments on the original post.
The pick-up: I could see Kaiba doing something stupid like starting to pick up a complete stranger to prove Yami could be replaced. But I think realizing he could succeed (at least with coffee guy) also made him realize how much he wanted Yami, not a random substitute who looked a little like him. Because Kaiba doesn’t really want to get close to anyone, even physically, so I think that when it became obvious his plan was working, he’d end up recoiling from it because he doesn’t want to prove that he doesn’t care, he doesn’t want some random stranger, he wants Yami, pure and simple. But I could see Kaiba blaming the coffee guy for not being Yami. So the earlier Kaiba came to that realization the better for everyone - including coffee guy!
Basically, Kaiba and screwing up emotionally go together!
Kaiba and isolation: When writing this it really struck me how alone Kaiba is. He literally has no one to turn to (Mokuba loves him, but he's his younger brother) in canon - Yami actually comes closest to being someone Kaiba confides in - and in this story what he needs to confide is how he feels about the idea that his relationship with Yami is over - so he's also lost the closest thing he has to a confidant.
I think Kaiba’s automatic assumption would be that their relationship can’t be fixed. Even though he has a better understanding of what went wrong and how he contributed to it, Yami still walked out. I think that had the same impact as the same finality as his parents dying or being dumped at the orphanage or Gozaburo jumping out of a window. Given Kaiba’s history of being abandoned, I don’t think it’s crossed his mind that Yami had the same regrets and could have the same desire to try again, that there could still be a different ending.
And I think Kaiba would really have to be slammed face to face with the fact that he misses Yami before he’d accept it.
Mokuba: On the day Seto and Yami fought, Mokuba had been hoping that Yami’s arrival would make his brother feel better - so I think, even more than Kaiba, who expected things to go wrong, Mokuba feels betrayed by Yami’s actions. From Mokuba’s point of view, he wanted Yami to fix everything and then he didn't.
Mokuba honestly believes that he is supporting Kaiba. But because he’s too young to really understand how his brother feels - much less what Yami was trying to tell him about why he left - Mokuba can’t really provide the support his brother needs in sorting out his feelings. Especially since Kaiba hides what he's feeling from Mokuba a lot. But Mokuba also wants to make his brother feel better, and I think Tamashiro helped him see that it was important to let his brother know what Yami had said.
Fight and finding out that Yami didn’t know about KC: I think it was important for Kaiba to find out that Yami wasn't blaming him for old KC business - because he also wasn't going to start to wonder why Yami had left as long as he thought he knew the answer.
I could see Yami and Kaiba coming to care for each other deeply. But I could also see how their own individual issues could keep them from acknowledging those feelings, and how their own inexperience with communicating or expressing their emotions would lead to problems. So for me, the fight was an intrinsic part of the story, and something that had to happen in order for them to take a look at whether the path they were on was likely to take them anyway they wanted to go.
When writing something as dramatic as a fight, it was important tha have the emotions feel as if they developed naturally rather than as something created for extra drama.
Yami: Yami believed he was destined to go to the after-life and I don’t think he ever questioned that. So I wanted to write a story where he got a chance to live - but then had to reconcile that with losing his sense of destiny and finding his place in a new world. And I wanted Kaiba to be drawn to help and drawn to Yami without wanting to question why - because he wasn’t ready for the answers. Most of all I wanted the emotions of this confused couple to feel real.
Note to Guest: Thank you so much! Yes, the sooner Kaiba figured out he wanted Yami and not some chance pick-up the better for everyone, including coffee guy! And yeah, finding out that Yami didn’t betray his confidence from a third party had to help.
The link to Chapter 25 at FFNet is here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11040748/25/Return-to-Romance
The link to Chapter 25 at AO3 is here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3341984/chapters/18429187
This entry was originally posted at http://www.dreamwidth.org/12345.html There are
comments on the original post.