Green eyes
I was rather surprised by the number of compliments I received this weekend concerning my physical attractiveness, especially considering that I was playing the least attractive character I've ever played. There were about five mentions of it on my signed poster, not to mention several verbal compliments in person. Of course, most (if not all) of the remarks were a response to my naked tech run get-up rather than my hobo garb, but it was still quite unexpected and gratifying to my self-image. I won't deny that I have a bit of the Phoebe attention-whore in me (I don't mean to be indelicate, but that is her own phrasing and I think it apt, certainly not in a negative way) and, though I am certainly not dependent upon others for my own appreciation of my body and self, it is still a relatively new concept to me that other people think/notice I'm attractive (not necessarily sexually at all, but just that I have a nice body and am pretty/good looking). It still catches me off-guard and I can't help but be pleased. It was definitely amusing to play both a hopeless, insane, dirty homeless man and a glamorous, half-clad, sexually confident, young(ish) woman/mother in the same night. ;-)
Now for the green eyes part.
I've decided that saying my eyes are green is an apt way to say that I am happy and things are well with me, since I've always loved the thought of having green eyes and, so, I am pleased with myself on the days when my eyes are more green than brown. Also, green is my favorite color and reminds me of life and energy. My eyes were green yesterday. My eyes are green again today. :-)
Yesterday was lovely in that I got to spend nearly all of it in the pleasant company of Brenda and Frances. I have come to enjoy their company greatly. It is very unique, and I cherish that. I feel rather honored whenever I am allowed to intrude upon their delightful and fascinating residence and interactions. There was tea and home-made food and walking and "The Fountain" and music and writing and discussion and much comfort and affability. I am sorry to think that they will not always be there in Wittenberg, just a few minutes' walk away.
I am decidedly back to being myself today, and it is a good feeling. No more headaches, no more physical "off-ness", no more lack of empathy, no more solitary/brooding inclinations, no more distance, no more need to cry. I have spent the day mostly in my room, which is clean and quiet and softly lit from the diffused sunlight through my window and the sprinkling of white Christmas light draped about my ceiling. It is a wet, dreary, gray, cozy, chilly (though still quite mild), somewhat blustery day out. The sort that is perfect for sitting in a psychologically cozy place with a book (or your computer) and listening to appealing music (many thanks to Brenda for sharing her Medieval Rock channel on Pandora with me) while sipping delicious hot cinnamon spice tea. The only thing that might make this better would be having my cat here to sit with me. But, I am still allergic to her, so I can do without that for now. Having dear friends with me would not be a detriment either, but I am equally content with the solitude for now, as long as I have my computer here to chat on.
I may not be getting much homework done (thus far, that translates to 'none'), but I still don't know how much more I would have accomplished at home and this environment has thus far done me so much mental good that I can't feel anything is wrong with my choices yet. Though, I need to write at least one of those papers today and do some reading for my Comp Lit class.
Now for the green eyes part.
I've decided that saying my eyes are green is an apt way to say that I am happy and things are well with me, since I've always loved the thought of having green eyes and, so, I am pleased with myself on the days when my eyes are more green than brown. Also, green is my favorite color and reminds me of life and energy. My eyes were green yesterday. My eyes are green again today. :-)
Yesterday was lovely in that I got to spend nearly all of it in the pleasant company of Brenda and Frances. I have come to enjoy their company greatly. It is very unique, and I cherish that. I feel rather honored whenever I am allowed to intrude upon their delightful and fascinating residence and interactions. There was tea and home-made food and walking and "The Fountain" and music and writing and discussion and much comfort and affability. I am sorry to think that they will not always be there in Wittenberg, just a few minutes' walk away.
I am decidedly back to being myself today, and it is a good feeling. No more headaches, no more physical "off-ness", no more lack of empathy, no more solitary/brooding inclinations, no more distance, no more need to cry. I have spent the day mostly in my room, which is clean and quiet and softly lit from the diffused sunlight through my window and the sprinkling of white Christmas light draped about my ceiling. It is a wet, dreary, gray, cozy, chilly (though still quite mild), somewhat blustery day out. The sort that is perfect for sitting in a psychologically cozy place with a book (or your computer) and listening to appealing music (many thanks to Brenda for sharing her Medieval Rock channel on Pandora with me) while sipping delicious hot cinnamon spice tea. The only thing that might make this better would be having my cat here to sit with me. But, I am still allergic to her, so I can do without that for now. Having dear friends with me would not be a detriment either, but I am equally content with the solitude for now, as long as I have my computer here to chat on.
I may not be getting much homework done (thus far, that translates to 'none'), but I still don't know how much more I would have accomplished at home and this environment has thus far done me so much mental good that I can't feel anything is wrong with my choices yet. Though, I need to write at least one of those papers today and do some reading for my Comp Lit class.