just got this, had to share
(And no, no computer yet, still on the loaner...which is full of nifty and win, but still not mine...How'ver, we are starting to price things out, see what we can afford, and how soon.)
This just hit the inbox--not the spam folder, the inbox:
Delivered-To: [my alternate address]
Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 209.85.215.46 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of ciepievc@muohio.edu) client-ip=209.85.215.46;
Sender: ciepievc@muohio.edu
Received: by 10.112.11.2 with HTTP; Fri, 9 Mar 2012 20:00:34 -0800 (PST)
Subject: bible
From: Dave Izekohu
Greetings in Jesus name,
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA--oh, sorry, you meant that. Aheh. Carry on. *snickercackles*
May this letter find you blessed in Christ.
Doubtful, but there's always a first time.
I am writing from West Africa and it is a blessing getting to you in the other part of the world. It is my prayer that you become a friend of me and the local church here.
Not gonna happen.
I got your email when I searching online and got into the web site and I know that it is God's arrangement.
1. Really?
2. Which God are we talking about, here? Oh, wait, you mentioned Christ. Okay, got it, go on.
By His grace I am a Believer bought and washed by the Blood of Jesus Christ.
...Wait. I realize I'm not a religious loon, as you so clearly seem to be, but...there are purchasing powers with the blood of Jesus Christ? Also detergent powers, but I'm more interested in blood being transactional, here. That's...deeply weird.
I am married with three children.
Good for you.
I am a pastor of a small local church non denominational or affiliated to anybody. The church was founded in 2006 and now has about 30 members.
Also good for you. If you are called to a life of religious teaching, and charitable works, far be it from me (or anyone) to say you're wrong.
I gave my life to Christ in 1987 when I was still in the high school at Zaria. A campus fellowship student by name Femi was my roommate at school and his life of faithfulness unto Christ and his prayer and teaching me the Bible led me to Christ.
Okay, this confused me for a bit. Then I looked it up. Yep, you guessed it--Zaria is in NIGERIA! Clever, these spamming bastards.
This Brother told me then that he sensed that God was going to use me for His cause.
Yeah, that never ends well.
I was never ready to hear that because my dream or thought was never in the ministry but to finish my studies and get a nice job.
...Instead you gave everything up for God? Kind of extreme, but hey, you walk the path you're given...
Five years after school and already working
...oh. Never mind, so you didn't follow a godly path from a random roommate's prophecy after Bible study. Why are we here again?
I started having the stronger urge and sensing that God was calling me but I kept on putting it off my heart because my job and life was sweet to me and I felt I needed nothing else.
....So, good life, good job, your needs and wants were met, and God wanted to take away all of that?
One day a guest speaker was ministering in our church and he singled me out in a crowd of over a thousand and told me that God has called me to the ministry and cannot hide. After he left I told my pastor that I have accepted and my pastor and other elders of the church prayed with me.
Is it overly cynical to wonder if they were praying that he didn't leave this good job for the Church?
I immediately joined and headed the evangelical outreach of the church and I saw many coming to Christ in the outreach. I let go of my job in 2005 and returned to Edo my State. I joined a small local church and was assisting the pastor as the second pastor.
Okay, ditched the good job, but at least you're fulfilled in Christ, or something. Kudos to you.
In January 13th 2007 a pastor of a little church of about five families in my area walked up to me telling me that he is leaving the state to his home state where the Lord has asked him to go and start the work. He said he has been praying for over a month that the Lord has asked him to tell me to take over the little church he founded 2006. I have not had relationship with this pastor before now so it amazed me.
This sounds...dubious. So far, three separate people have told him he was called upon to be an evangelical Christian? By God? Does this sound odd to anyone else?
He asked me to pray to ask the Lord. I did prayed and without wasting time I knew the Lord ask me to hold that little church and that was how I became the pastor of this church called Victory Chapel. The church is a growing church and we meet at a temporary rented building. We are earthly rich but rich in Christ, riches that will last for eternity.
Fairly sure you meant "not earthly rich", but hey, even I know that's quibbling. Of more import: while you do say this is a tiny tiny church with only a few worshipers, there's no listing (at least, not one that's made it into Google). But there is Victory Chapel International, with twelve chapters in Nigeria. Maybe that's what you meant?
2 Timothy 2:15 "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth"
That's, um...not the best quote to toss at someone you're trying to scam out of money, sir.
The reason why I am writing is to appeal for your assistance in the area of a Study Bible which will be of help to me in my research and study of the bible as well as lesson preparation as a pastor, and bibles for our aged members. These items are very scarce here. I need The Dakes Annotated Reference Bible. It is a very good study Bible for ministers of the gospel. Please help me for it.
Do not buy this, not in the least. People specifically go to West Africa to hand out Bibles like candy. They're all over the place. Now, you want Strong's Exhaustive Concordance, okay, that's a heftier, more specific work, with the original Aramaic and Greek passages for reference...oh, but wait, that's available online, spammer.
There are many in our local church who do not have bibles and cannot afford to buy.
No one needs to buy one. Hells, you could probably burn them during cold nights, there's so many. It's the single most reprinted work in existence.
I want to specifically make a request for the elderly ones who cannot work and earn money to buy for themselves.
You're really harping on this point.
There are 12 of such very old fathers and mothers in our church who read and understand English and they are very devoted. Please on their behalf I request that you send them 12 Bibles the very big letters which is the super giant print 18 point type would be preferable for them because of their sight.
So you're seriously telling me that you can't track down twelve Bibles for free, in English, even? Are you really that stupid, or you think I will be?
A pastor friend here got his from www.christianbook.com where it was purchase for him by his cousin abroad. I checked the site and also found it there.
I bet you did, and there's no way in hell I'm making that an active link.
We would also appreciate used bibles provided the pages are complete. Bibles are needed in King James Version, English.
So, again, the most common Bible variant, in the most common language, which is given out for free by missionary groups all over the globe...Sure. Got it. Want some egg in your beer, too?
Thank you for considering this request.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA--oh, you're serious.
And as you help to meet this kingdom need the Lord will bless you finance abundantly.
Nope.
If you send the bibles through post office a registered postage the bibles will get to us safely. I was told at the post office that EMS postage or post office insured mail is safer and without charge. My home and postal address is Ediwagie Sani Road-Gpgo 5870, Benin City, Edo State, 30001, Nigeria. Please write when you get my mail. I do not have full access to internet but I can check at least three times weekly.
Ecclesiastes 11:1 "Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days"
Y'know, now I'm wondering. If I contacted an organization here and asked about the possibility of sending twelve large-print, King James Bibles, in English, to this address--would they be pissed off? Also, so far I haven't seen one request for actual funds--maybe that comes later?
Continue to be obedient and the Lord will honour you in His time. Exodus 19:5, "the Lord spoke to the children of Israel through Moses saying: 'Now therefore, if you will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then you shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine:...'" The Lord bless you and keep you in His perfect love.
You too.
In His Service,
Dave Izekohu
Ediwagie Sani Road-Gpgo 5870,
Benin City,
Edo State, 30001,
Nigeria
P.s, Please pray for the persecuted Christians attacked by Muslims in Nigeria.
Sure thing. And I'll get right on that Bible thing...after I floss my cat.
Here's the other thing that got me about this. This is a guy purportedly in Benin City, Nigeria--which is a real place--but the two addresses linked to this are in Hong Kong and Ohio, respectively--neither of which is near Nigeria, so...buh? Yes, I know, the Nigerian spam rarely if ever comes from Nigeria, but dudes...OHIO?!? Wau, they think I'm gullible.
This just hit the inbox--not the spam folder, the inbox:
Delivered-To: [my alternate address]
Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 209.85.215.46 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of ciepievc@muohio.edu) client-ip=209.85.215.46;
Sender: ciepievc@muohio.edu
Received: by 10.112.11.2 with HTTP; Fri, 9 Mar 2012 20:00:34 -0800 (PST)
Subject: bible
From: Dave Izekohu
Greetings in Jesus name,
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA--oh, sorry, you meant that. Aheh. Carry on. *snickercackles*
May this letter find you blessed in Christ.
Doubtful, but there's always a first time.
I am writing from West Africa and it is a blessing getting to you in the other part of the world. It is my prayer that you become a friend of me and the local church here.
Not gonna happen.
I got your email when I searching online and got into the web site and I know that it is God's arrangement.
1. Really?
2. Which God are we talking about, here? Oh, wait, you mentioned Christ. Okay, got it, go on.
By His grace I am a Believer bought and washed by the Blood of Jesus Christ.
...Wait. I realize I'm not a religious loon, as you so clearly seem to be, but...there are purchasing powers with the blood of Jesus Christ? Also detergent powers, but I'm more interested in blood being transactional, here. That's...deeply weird.
I am married with three children.
Good for you.
I am a pastor of a small local church non denominational or affiliated to anybody. The church was founded in 2006 and now has about 30 members.
Also good for you. If you are called to a life of religious teaching, and charitable works, far be it from me (or anyone) to say you're wrong.
I gave my life to Christ in 1987 when I was still in the high school at Zaria. A campus fellowship student by name Femi was my roommate at school and his life of faithfulness unto Christ and his prayer and teaching me the Bible led me to Christ.
Okay, this confused me for a bit. Then I looked it up. Yep, you guessed it--Zaria is in NIGERIA! Clever, these spamming bastards.
This Brother told me then that he sensed that God was going to use me for His cause.
Yeah, that never ends well.
I was never ready to hear that because my dream or thought was never in the ministry but to finish my studies and get a nice job.
...Instead you gave everything up for God? Kind of extreme, but hey, you walk the path you're given...
Five years after school and already working
...oh. Never mind, so you didn't follow a godly path from a random roommate's prophecy after Bible study. Why are we here again?
I started having the stronger urge and sensing that God was calling me but I kept on putting it off my heart because my job and life was sweet to me and I felt I needed nothing else.
....So, good life, good job, your needs and wants were met, and God wanted to take away all of that?
One day a guest speaker was ministering in our church and he singled me out in a crowd of over a thousand and told me that God has called me to the ministry and cannot hide. After he left I told my pastor that I have accepted and my pastor and other elders of the church prayed with me.
Is it overly cynical to wonder if they were praying that he didn't leave this good job for the Church?
I immediately joined and headed the evangelical outreach of the church and I saw many coming to Christ in the outreach. I let go of my job in 2005 and returned to Edo my State. I joined a small local church and was assisting the pastor as the second pastor.
Okay, ditched the good job, but at least you're fulfilled in Christ, or something. Kudos to you.
In January 13th 2007 a pastor of a little church of about five families in my area walked up to me telling me that he is leaving the state to his home state where the Lord has asked him to go and start the work. He said he has been praying for over a month that the Lord has asked him to tell me to take over the little church he founded 2006. I have not had relationship with this pastor before now so it amazed me.
This sounds...dubious. So far, three separate people have told him he was called upon to be an evangelical Christian? By God? Does this sound odd to anyone else?
He asked me to pray to ask the Lord. I did prayed and without wasting time I knew the Lord ask me to hold that little church and that was how I became the pastor of this church called Victory Chapel. The church is a growing church and we meet at a temporary rented building. We are earthly rich but rich in Christ, riches that will last for eternity.
Fairly sure you meant "not earthly rich", but hey, even I know that's quibbling. Of more import: while you do say this is a tiny tiny church with only a few worshipers, there's no listing (at least, not one that's made it into Google). But there is Victory Chapel International, with twelve chapters in Nigeria. Maybe that's what you meant?
2 Timothy 2:15 "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth"
That's, um...not the best quote to toss at someone you're trying to scam out of money, sir.
The reason why I am writing is to appeal for your assistance in the area of a Study Bible which will be of help to me in my research and study of the bible as well as lesson preparation as a pastor, and bibles for our aged members. These items are very scarce here. I need The Dakes Annotated Reference Bible. It is a very good study Bible for ministers of the gospel. Please help me for it.
Do not buy this, not in the least. People specifically go to West Africa to hand out Bibles like candy. They're all over the place. Now, you want Strong's Exhaustive Concordance, okay, that's a heftier, more specific work, with the original Aramaic and Greek passages for reference...oh, but wait, that's available online, spammer.
There are many in our local church who do not have bibles and cannot afford to buy.
No one needs to buy one. Hells, you could probably burn them during cold nights, there's so many. It's the single most reprinted work in existence.
I want to specifically make a request for the elderly ones who cannot work and earn money to buy for themselves.
You're really harping on this point.
There are 12 of such very old fathers and mothers in our church who read and understand English and they are very devoted. Please on their behalf I request that you send them 12 Bibles the very big letters which is the super giant print 18 point type would be preferable for them because of their sight.
So you're seriously telling me that you can't track down twelve Bibles for free, in English, even? Are you really that stupid, or you think I will be?
A pastor friend here got his from www.christianbook.com where it was purchase for him by his cousin abroad. I checked the site and also found it there.
I bet you did, and there's no way in hell I'm making that an active link.
We would also appreciate used bibles provided the pages are complete. Bibles are needed in King James Version, English.
So, again, the most common Bible variant, in the most common language, which is given out for free by missionary groups all over the globe...Sure. Got it. Want some egg in your beer, too?
Thank you for considering this request.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA--oh, you're serious.
And as you help to meet this kingdom need the Lord will bless you finance abundantly.
Nope.
If you send the bibles through post office a registered postage the bibles will get to us safely. I was told at the post office that EMS postage or post office insured mail is safer and without charge. My home and postal address is Ediwagie Sani Road-Gpgo 5870, Benin City, Edo State, 30001, Nigeria. Please write when you get my mail. I do not have full access to internet but I can check at least three times weekly.
Ecclesiastes 11:1 "Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days"
Y'know, now I'm wondering. If I contacted an organization here and asked about the possibility of sending twelve large-print, King James Bibles, in English, to this address--would they be pissed off? Also, so far I haven't seen one request for actual funds--maybe that comes later?
Continue to be obedient and the Lord will honour you in His time. Exodus 19:5, "the Lord spoke to the children of Israel through Moses saying: 'Now therefore, if you will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then you shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine:...'" The Lord bless you and keep you in His perfect love.
You too.
In His Service,
Dave Izekohu
Ediwagie Sani Road-Gpgo 5870,
Benin City,
Edo State, 30001,
Nigeria
P.s, Please pray for the persecuted Christians attacked by Muslims in Nigeria.
Sure thing. And I'll get right on that Bible thing...after I floss my cat.
Here's the other thing that got me about this. This is a guy purportedly in Benin City, Nigeria--which is a real place--but the two addresses linked to this are in Hong Kong and Ohio, respectively--neither of which is near Nigeria, so...buh? Yes, I know, the Nigerian spam rarely if ever comes from Nigeria, but dudes...OHIO?!? Wau, they think I'm gullible.